New Home

Kimmie moved downstairs and we were planning on moving Owen and the new baby into her room. I pulled off the baseboards to paint and found a small hole. In the small hole was carpenter ant frass. Carpenter ants had built a colony because a leak in the roof had softened the studs a little. All in all I ripped up 3 studs worth of drywall to expose the colony and kill it with Orthoboric Acid Dust. I'm taking quotes now to have the roof repaired, the studs replaced, and the drywall fixed. It could range in the thousands. It's basically a complete nightmare.

We had a doctor's appointment on Thursday, July 30th at 2:45pm to see if Annalisa's pregnancy was progressing. It wasn't... Her due date was July 28th so she was overdue. I was cool with waiting. You see, August 1st is the cutoff for soccer age. Basically, if you're born on August 1st, you'll be the oldest on your soccer team. If you're born on July 31st, you'll be the youngest on your soccer team. August 1st is the cutoff for soccer age. Look it up. So, when Annalisa hadn't progressed at all from the week before, and we set her induce date for Saturday, 8am, August 1st, I was cool with that. But Xavier, as if pre-emptively declaring he's up to all the challenges life and his brothers have to offer, had other plans.

We put the boys down around 9pm and I watched the second half of Watchmen with Annalisa. By the way, if you don't know what Redbox is, you need to figure it out. I love it. The movie finished and I went up to bed. Annalisa had been having some mini contractions, but nothing serious, she'd been having sporadic ones for a while. She went downstairs to play Minesweeper because Bejeweled Blitz was unavailable because our internet was down. It was then that her contractions got to be more regular and she determined that she had to start monitoring their frequency. It was 2:30am when she woke me and said, "We should probably go to my brother's, the contractions are 5 minutes apart and lasting for about a minute."

To be honest, it's not as jaw droppingly scary as it used to be. We're so much older than we were. So much more prepared. So much more ready. We had been praying for this moment for months, and all the other serious prayer warriors have had our back. It's amazing how spiritual stability and maturity can translate into emotional and even physical strength. Our plan was to go to Ryan's house which was only 10 minutes from Henry Ford West Bloomfield. All our other children were born at St. Joe's in Pontiac.

Henry Ford West Bloomfield. Maple Road, just west of Drake. Remember it if you're having a baby, you'll be glad you did.

Somewhere along the line the plan changed to going straight to the hospital instead of hanging at Ryan's until the right time. We got to the hospital, went to Emergency, went to Triage. At that point it was around 3:10am, being so early we missed all the construction traffic. Annalisa's mom met us shortly after in Triage. The contractions were getting pretty bad. The timing was:

Saturday, 7/31/09

2:30am - Annalisa wakes me because contractions are 5 min apart lasting a minute.
3:28am - admitted into Triage room 5 with bubbly Debra as our nurse. I shouldn't have had that protein shake with milk before I went to bed. Annalisa is 2cm dilated, 90% effacement. If she doesn't progress in the next hour, we might be sent home, because the contractions are strangely getting further apart.
5am - Progress! Yes! Annalisa was worried about this not being the real thing because of the cramps this time were in her back and not her legs, which was the case with the other boys. She's 4-5 cm dilated, and we were moved to Labor and Delivery Room 10 instead of being sent home. Dr. Capili was on his way. Annalisa was given a nubane IV to help take the edge off the pain.
5:30am - broke the bag of waters and the fluid was clear, which was good
6:18am - Annalisa's favorite part, the epidural was administered
6:25am - 7-8cm
7:20am - 9-10cm.. yes! Time to start pushing.
After a half an hour of pushing, there was progress, but not much. I had forgotten my only job of counting to ten during each push. I was just watching while I held her left leg.
Since it was determined that Xavier's head was a little sideways, the doctor suggested she lay on her side and try pushing that way. 2 pushes and 5 minutes after she laid on her left side...
7:55am - Xavier born!

Xavier Ambrosio Agustin
7 pounds 9.3 ounces
21 inches long

Right now, I'm blogging from Labor and Delivery Room 10. There's a wireless keyboard and a 36in. LG flat panel monitor. It's called the GetWell Network. Movies on demand, internet, TV. The nursing staff and doctors have been amazingly accommodating. I think in all my life I've never experienced so many people so concerned with our well being. This has been an excellent hospital experience and I don't want to take a second of it for granted.

Earlier today, I got all pensive and Annalisa asked what was wrong. I said, "There's nothing wrong. There's absolutely nothing wrong." I feel so incredibly blessed to be making that type of statement. I mean, I've got rotten wood and carpenter ant damage along with a leaky roof above Owen and Xavier's room. Annalisa was laid off on July 28th, her due date. I could literally lose my job at any point in time working at GM. The older three brothers seem to need more and more attention with every passing day that seems to get shorter and shorter.

And truly, there's absolutely nothing wrong. Truly truly I say to you. The peace that passeth human understanding is a storm in my center these days. Not because we have a new life that we probably can't afford. Right now, I'm reaping some of the fruits of the Spirit. At the beginning of this year I was trapped in a prison of my own making. Trapped in with bars of stress and anxiety about the future. I shared with my Bible Study that I was a mental and emotional wreck. Always worrying about losing my job. Always worrying about not spending enough time with the boys. Two Bible Study members heard my cry for help and answered with, "You should go to Confession. You should go once a month."

The merits of the Sacrament of Confession have been debated and argued throughout the centuries between Catholics and Protestants. Having grown up Protestant and now a Catholic, both sides of the argument dwell deep in my psyche. But having gone to partake of the Sacrament of Confession once or twice a month now for almost seven months, I can say that I understand a little more.

There's just something different about saying it out loud to another human being. All the worst things I feel I've done in the past few weeks, all the evil thoughts, all the sins I know of. There's just something about how the words leave the lips and fall on human ears. There's something different about the Act of Contrition. There's something different about hearing the words "absolve" and "Go with the Peace of Christ." There's just something different about it. Because of it, there's something different about me too.

Every week I'm accountable in The Struggle Against the Objectification of Women. I've named it just now because it's that rampant that serious. Males in this world sometimes don't even know that they're being destroyed from the inside out by something much much worse than cancer. It's like Cancer Soup for the Soul. That's what you're consuming when you're acting like every other consumer who eats up all the sexual innuendo in commercials, all the racy magazine ads, and all the gratuitous nudity in movies. I'm accountable weekly in The Struggle Against the Objectification of Women. It's that accountability that helps me in the effort to raise little men into real men.

Xavier means New Home.
The process of holiness is called sanctification.
This mind is cleaner. This body is cleaner. This temple is cleaner.

My home is damaged, Annalisa's job is lost, the economy is broken.
This Home is New.

Welcome Xavier, we love you so much, and I humbly accept the tremendous responsibility of being your father, and blanketing you with the Love from the only other Father who could love you more than me.

I've created a new blog!
In it, you'll find pictures of the family and the band I'm in.
You'll also find out what we're planning on naming our 4th child and the band.
I've also included some stories about a kid that I'm the father of.
Interspersed throughout the blog are very personal thoughts on God, Health, Family, being a husband and father, Pistons, etc.

You get all this for the low low price of contributing in the Fight against Cancer.
Just click on the link and contribute any amount you like.

Donate to Relay For Life

or paste this in your browser
https://secure3.convio.net/tacs/site/Donation2?idb=149783085&df_id=1006244&FR_ID=14479&PROXY_ID=2978632&1006244.donation=form1&PROXY_TYPE=20

*Important
In the "Personal Note to Whom You are Donating" field, please include your email account because that is the email I will be inviting to read my private blog.
I can only invite a hundred people to view this blog... seriously... so act fast!
The event is May 30th, 2009 and I will be updating the blog periodically up until the event. You will be able to view the blog until July 1, 2009.

Shortly after you donate, I will take your email address and send you an invitation, you will receive an invitation email that begins with:
The Blogger user Human Amoeba has invited you to read the private blog: The Collectors, The Life Reflectors.

Seriously, this is my way of feeling like I'm giving you something in exchange for the monetary favor you're doing for me in donating to Relay For Life and the fight against Cancer.
It's REALLY hard for me to just straight up ask people for money for any cause. I have nothing to offer except for myself. So I guess that's all I have to give and I hope you consider taking me up on my offer.
If you do consider doing this, please leave a comment on the blog, so I know you got access and I won't have to worry I messed up the invitation.

Thanks for reading this far,
Eric

Creation and Service

These are some of the answers to the questions. Some of the most important answers.

Creation is the end result of the process. My whole life has spun towards creation. Often all the work I put in was geared towards getting some time at the end of the day to create. Everything has to be in place first. Then, if life was balanced and focused, then the bliss of creation. I endured college and my most cherished memories involved creating with my friends. Harmonies, beats, moves, lyrics, music videos, prayers, blogs, relationships. All end results of a child trying to create.
It's why parent's hearts rejoice at a drawing of a dog from their three year old. That child is doing what every inner being longs to do. For parent's, it's especially epic. It's your creation, creating.
Hearts and souls aren't inspired by the following of rules. Hearts and souls are moved by creation. Creation inspired by love and creation for the purpose of love is the ultimate joy.
A bouquet picked for mama. Habitat for Humanity. Isaiah, Ethan, Owen.

Service is the joy in the process.
Lives lived by choice in service to others are those most revered. A part of us wishes we could serve as well as we'd like too. The choice to serve has unlocked more paths to peace in me. If my soul is not creating or serving, it's not fulfilled. It can't sleep well. I've never known real sleep until recently. My life is lived in joyful service to my God, my wife, my children, my family, friends, my work. My body was more exhausted when I was merely serving myself. It's as if service to others possesses it's own energy source, separate from energy expended on self-gratification. Lately I've been trying to put Annalisa's needs above mine, and I can see her trying to be more sensitive to my needs. Life is so much better when it's lived like that.

My suspicion is that it's not money.
It's Creation and Service

I believe that embryos are babies.
I am so so sad to my core that we will be killing babies in the name of research in Michigan.

Paint in the house:
Our room - Olympic Fragrant Cloves - Eggshell
Our room trim - Olympic Afternoon Tea - Eggshell
Dining room - Olympic Sauteed Mushroom - Semi-Gloss
Basement- Olympic Ship's Harbor - Flat
Living Room - Olympic Brick Dust - Semi-Gloss
Boy's Room - Olympic Easter Egg

Don't everyone rush to help us paint...just capturing the gallons I'm tossing out..

Google Reader testing testing again... I think it worked..

I just wrote this email to our parents. It's soooo... real. Hidden in the lines is anxiety and hope and prayer and worry and fear and love. Part of me wishes I made a lot more money so that I wouldn't have to be as anxious about this stuff. But then part of me is concerned with the sacrifices necessary to make a lot more money. Part of me is so content and happy that I feel like my heart will burst.

(sigh)

Money will getcha if you let it.

Please Lord, don't let it get me.

-----
Hey guys,
I just wanted to let you know that I did open a 529 Plan for the boys. It's through the Utah plan because it had very low fees and was not too complex.

Check it out here.
http://www.uesp.org/index.html

The option I chose was Option 10.
It's outlined below.
-
New Investment Option
A new static investment option with more exposure to international equity funds will be
available to account owners October 1, 2008. This option results in the highest allocation
in international securities of any current UESP product:
• 70% in the Vanguard Institutional Total Stock Market Index Fund (VITSX)
• 30% in the Vanguard Institutional Developed Markets Index Fund (VIDMX)
This new investment option (Option 10 Equities—30% International) will provide
investors with greater access to the world market and growing regional economies.
-
If you want to give gifts to the boys that will help pay for their college and you're worried that Annalisa and I will just take the money and spend it haphazardly, the best way to do that is to:

Make a check payable to UESP
Send to UESP, PO Box 145100, Salt Lake City, UT 84114-5100
Include the beneficiary’s name and account number on the check
The beneficiary's name is: XXXXX and the account number is: XXXXX
Print out the gift notice at http://www.uesp.org/pdfs/GiftNoticeChristmas.pdf and just give that to the boys.

I can change the beneficiary whenever I want. Making 3 different accounts would have incurred more fees. The max that you can have in any account is $330,000. So far, we've saved $XXXXX total for all the boys. But that is just sitting in 3 separate savings accounts as emergency funds in case I lose my job. I haven't commited that money to UESP yet. I just opened the UESP account with $XXXXX.

Fidelity says that we'll need:
$138,000 to send Isaiah to U of M
$152,000 to send Ethan to U of M
$167,000 to send Owen to U of M

The puts us at $457,000 for all three.
Any help you want to give would be appreciated tremendously by us and the boys.

Thanks guys,
Eric

Google Reader Testing Testing Testing

Annalisa and I went to Saltwater at MGM Grand Detroit for our 5 year anniversary.

We talked about how much we love being married to each other. Having thought very hard about it, I discovered that three of my top reasons for loving being married to Annalisa are:

1. The Food - I will concede that I have low standards. But I have to believe that even given that, Annalisa's culinary skills are still very high. Throw in my low standards and the fact that I would probably be living off of sandwiches without her, and her skills go off the charts.

2. Her sense of humor - Annalisa is SO much funnier than when I first met her. I don't know if it's because Ryan and Steen were such riots, that Annalisa's humor may have been drowned out. Or maybe she just wasn't that funny back then, and it was just enough for me that she was pretty and smart. But there are times now when she kills me. Some of her impressions put me on the floor. You'll never hear them because she's so shy. But her Shakira and Bella impressions always make me giggle.

3. Her work - Inspired passion is so sexy and captivating and cool to be around. I love that she works hard and that her work has focus and results that affect people's lives. I'm so proud of her work and the work she does.

Honorable Mention. Same page - The fact that we're pretty much on the same page. This is more of a comment on our relationship and our thought processes when it comes to raising kids. If I were to re-word it into an attribute related to Annalisa, I would say that it's her analytical skills. I love her ability to read what needs to be done, interpret not only what I'm saying, but the vibe I'm emitting, and formulate an intelligent opinion on how we should move forward.

Now that I'm in the zone of things I love about Annalisa, I think I'll keep writing.

Her shopping - before this would be way down on the list of things I like about Annalisa. But now I've seen over the years how really most of her purchases take into account our current financial situation while understanding what the house needs to operate. So it took a while, but I really think her ability to shop and find deals helps our family more than it hurts it.

Her face - I think she has the prettiest face in the whole wide world.

So clearly I love my wife and I've established that I think she's smart and wonderful and pretty.

With that said......

Ever see Forrest Gump?
At the beginning and end of Forrest Gump there are beautiful shots of a feather falling and rising through the air.

One day, Annalisa goes, "How'd they get the feather to do that?"

Isaiah started soccer two Saturdays ago. 9/6/08.
He plays with www.metrostarsfc.com under the MicroStars. Practices are held at Oakland University. About 12-16 kids. $90 for 8 sessions. No real soccer games until he turns 6. Noah and Andrea are in it too. I’m thrilled with the way they’ve put together a fun way of introducing soccer to 4 and 5 year olds. I want to capture the little things they did here so that maybe I can play similar games with the boys at home.

Body Parts
Coach picks up the ball and says, “touch your nose” and touches the ball to his nose. The kids laugh and do the same. He then continues and touches the ball to a bunch of different body parts. He then says one body part and then touches the ball to a different part seeing which kids are sharp enough to notice. I like this game because it introduces the idea that the ball can touch many different body parts not just your feet.

Penny Tag
Basically playing tag inside a 15 x 15 square made of cones. When he tagged someone they would take the rolled up penny and they were “it”. After playing tag for a while, he then introduced the soccer ball into the game. Everyone had a ball and dribbled inside the square trying not to be tagged and still avoiding the other kids. I like this game because it gently introduces the idea of boundaries. That is, if the kids ran too far away with their ball, he would call them back into the square of cones. Also interesting to notice that he gave them no direction on how to dribble the ball. He just said get your soccer balls and dribble around and try not to get tagged.

Puppies in the Park
They then moved to playing pretend. Coach told the kids that they are walking their puppies through the park. The square of cones was the park, the soccer balls, their puppies. But they had to watch out for the mean park ranger who wanted to take their puppies if they weren’t on a leash. Coach was the park ranger and putting their puppy on a leash meant putting their foot on the ball and stopping it. The kids would then dribble within the circle screaming and laughing because whenever the park ranger got to their puppy and it wasn’t on a leash, he would kick it a little bit outside the square of cones, and the kids would have to go get their puppy and come back. After a few minutes of that, coach declared that he was now a lion, and that lions don’t care about leashes, they just wanted to get the puppy. So now coach was roaring and running around kicking out balls even if they had their foot on the ball. After that, coach stopped play, got rid of all the balls, and then asked the kids what their favorite scary animal is. He told them they were that animal and it was their turn to try and get his puppy. So dinosaurs, and dragons, and cheetahs were chasing scared coach around trying to get his puppy. This was a great game first and foremost because the kids had so much fun playing. While they were playing though, they learned how to try and stop the ball if they needed to, the whole while being cognizant of their surroundings and the ball simultaneously. The good lesson the lion aspect is trying to teach the kids is that they’ll need to put their bodies between the opponent and the ball to protect the ball. When they all chased coach’s puppy, that’s the beginnings of the one ball used in a real game.

Firemen
Now the coach puts up larger cones spread around in the middle of the square and tells the kids the larger cones are fires and they are firemen. The balls are the buckets of water. They need to put out the fires. He would gather the kids in a corner of the square and then call for firemen. The kids would rush out of the corner dribbling their balls and kick the balls into the cones. Ball control and focus on a specific goal are learned.

That was the first practice. I thought they would play the same games at the second practice. Nope. The coach had all new games.

Restaurants
Now there were 4 sets of smaller squares of cones all arranged in a larger square formation. He declared each would be a restaurant. McDonald’s, Burger King, Dairy Queen, Wendy’s. He would ask the kids where they wanted to eat and they would decide on a place and dribble there. When they got there, someone would be declared the server and they would pass out the flat cones and pretend they were plates and pretend to eat off of them. They would do that and he would switch it up by declaring one restaurant but he himself would dribble to a different restaurant and then see which kids went which way. Dribbling skills and paying attention skills were developed.

Ghosts and Ghostbusters
Now there is one rectangle of blue cones about 15 yards away from another small rectangle of orange cones. The rectangles are haunted houses and the kids stand in the house without balls and are ghosts. Coach is standing between the two haunted houses with his ball and he’s the Ghost Buster. When he yells, “who you gonna call?!” The kids yell, “Ghostbusters!” and run from one haunted house to the other. While they’re running he tries to kick the soccer ball at their feet. If it hits them, they become Ghostbusters the next time. Slowly there becomes more Ghostbusters than Ghosts and the kids learn evasion tactics as ghosts and ball control when kicking as Ghostbusters.

Again, I’m thrilled with how they’re going about introducing game concepts to the kids.
When Isaiah laughs and plays like that, all my insides get happy.

Things I ate in my week long hiatus from my year long hiatus from deep fried foods and chocolate.

Hooters Wings, curly fries
2 of Kelly's caramel walnut brownies
9 Reese's Peanut butter eggs (small)
1 small twix
4 Boston Kreme donuts... these are the best... deep fried with chocolate
1 eclair
Arby's Homestyle Fries
McDonald's Fries
Shake Shack cheese fries
Wendy's Fries
1 DQ Small vanilla dipped cone
2 Snickers bars
1 Reese's Fast Break bar
Fries that Annalisa made
2 small bite size Milky Ways
1 Large Potbelly Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookie
1 Ice Cream Sandwich
2 Peanut M&M packets normal size
A bunch of regular M&M's
7 donut holes glazed

gonna try and pull the fruits and vegetables lever this year.... I hope it goes well

Wow.
What a great story.
Pierre and Amy got married this weekend.
Chrissy put it best when she said that she loved the fact that she expected the whole weekend to be really fun and exciting and great to see everyone again…. it was all that and more….
She was so right… it’s great to let your mind hype an event up and up and never have to be worried about being let down….. so the months leading up to the wedding were full of bliss and anticipation….
Bliss and anticipation. At 31 years old…when do you get that? When you were younger it was birthdays and Halloween. But the luster wears off after a while. At some point in time, Halloween becomes just candy that you give out. Birthdays are just mortality reminders.
Pierre and Amy’s wedding was to me what Christmas is to 5 year olds. Bliss and anticipation.
I was calling random people in the weeks before the wedding trying to hype it up and build energy. The Thursday before I was calling people and saying, “I’ll see you tomorrow!” because how often can you tell some people in your life that? There are so many people you would love to say, “I’ll see you tomorrow” to but can’t because it’s just not true. You won’t see them tomorrow. So it’s important to say it while it’s true… or else you’ll miss it…. And just like everything else it will have slipped through your fingers like sand.
Bittersweet. Twilight. Torn. The exact moment when day turns to night and night to day. Moments where intense happiness and sadness, joy and pain co-exist. Each new year brings higher levels in both directions. Being pulled in both directions with new levels of tension forces you to bear down and find your true center. Usually when that happens I’m forced to my knees to pray.
The time came. 4:45am my eyes blinked open. The alarm was set for 5am to get ready to leave to go to the airport to be ready for the 6:50am flight to Laguardia.
The sun would be out soon, but it was rising and setting inside me. Owen was in the crook of my right arm. Isaiah was on my left against the wall. Ethan on the other side of Owen. Sleeping.
We spent the night at Rob and Ellen’s so they could watch the boys on Friday.
It was time to leave the boys.
Again, I was never left alone. My parents never went anywhere without me. So I don’t know how this works really. I got up and paced around a little. Watching them sleep and snore quietly by the glow of the moon and nightlight. So much of me in one little bed. I was broken… torn. I knelt at the bed at their feet, folded my hands. Forehead to my hands to the sheets. Beseeching, imploring, begging, requesting.
Please God… please please take care of them… to be away and something catastrophic to happen while we chose to celebrate a million miles away would be too much to handle. You promised to never give me more than I could handle. Please don’t. Please watch over them. Blanket them. Enclose them. Hold them tight to Your chest when we can’t. Should something happen to us, please please God let them know that they were and are loved. Should something happen to them, hold me up and help me endure that suffering. I couldn’t even finish a Lord’s Prayer correctly because my mind was so anxious in those moments before leaving. Please God, please please please keep them safe.
I converse with my son’s hearts sometimes while they sleep. “Can I come?” whispers Isaiah’s heart to mine. There’s so much implied in that question. There’s so much involved. “Sorry buddy, maybe next time.” My heart whispers in reply. “Why not, daddy?” In these silent conversations I envision the answer being burned onto Isaiah’s heart. I feel the need to speak to a more mature Isaiah. “Isaiah, I love you so much. I have to leave and you have to stay because of many reasons. We need to celebrate the joining of two separate lives into one. Mama and Papa need to unplug, catch our breath, relax and laugh with old friends without worrying about diapers and juice. We can’t afford to bring all of you with us. Logistically, Isaiah, bringing you guys with us would be a nightmare. But mostly buddy, mama and papa need to rest.”
I wish his heart would answer, “Okay, papa, I understand.” But it didn’t.
I kissed their feet and told their hearts that I loved them. I wanted to promise them that mama and papa would be back soon. But I’ve lived long enough to learn that every day promises like that are broken. We live in this world and mama or papa doesn’t always come home when they’re supposed to. The only promise I can make is that no one will ever love you more than mama and papa do.
Good-bye my little sweethearts. My little men.
The part of their hearts that I converse with misses me. The other parts of them are thrilled to be at Noah and Elly’s house. Those parts of them don’t miss me so much. Noah is Isaiah’s best friend and my God son. I would say Elly is probably Ethan’s best friend right now. To me, dropping off your child to spend some time with their best friends, so that you can spend time with some of your best friends, is much more palatable than all the self torturing thoughts I was thinking.
So the sun inside me set and the sun outside was rising, and it was off to the airport in the Outlook. I had finished Twilight. Starting New Moon on the day of Breaking Dawn’s release. Traveling to the city where the author happens to be signing books. Stephanie Meyer. Google her. The media machine is gonna have a field day with her books. Said to be the next Harry Potter. A little teeny bopper for me, but whatever. Point is, I have something fun to read in the airport and on the plane.
When the plane takes off I say prayers. When the plane lands, I was so engrossed with Bella and Edward I was startled to feel the rumble. Sweeeeet. New York. LGA.
I packed: 3 boxers, 3 t-shirts, 2 shorts, suit. No one to impress. This crew loves me as I am.
Went to get the rental car. Made a reservation earlier that week through Hertz with AAA discount. $283 including taxes and fees for 3 days. !!!! That’s so expensive for 3 days! One thing I’ve learned is that a lot of times, it’s not about the cost, it’s about the feeling of getting a deal. I wanted the feeling of getting a deal. So I was emotionally prepared to pay $283 but since we had some time before Tracee landed, let’s call the other rental places. Called AVIS and they said with the AAA discount it would be $240 for 3 days. Woohoo! That’s still a lot of money, but it’s not the cost, it’s the feeling of getting a deal! Yes! Waited until Tracee landed and I wanted to call AVIS again to make the reservation to lock in my $240 deal. When I called, I decided to go into my spiel again… What’s the cheapest I can get a car from now until Sunday. “Well, we just started to run a special, and I can get you it for… $220.”
!!!! Woohoo!!! Double bonus day!!! The feeling of getting an uber deal!! Wheee!!!
White Hyundai Accent. Uberdeal. Let’s be real though, $220 for 3 days, that’s so expensive considering I want to buy a boat for that amount that will last me 30 years. But uberdeal double day feelings were too hard to beat. I was so happy.
When Tracee arrived the weekend officially began. This is what it was all about and what I imagine what we were all so excited for. To see faces we haven’t seen in so long and look at those faces and smile and have them smile back. Kimmie has meant so much to me and my family and to see her happy and with one of her best friends again made me so so happy. I have no comments on how much they email each other.
I am a genius and I printed off directions to and from Laguardia to the Andrews Hotel and to and from JFK to the Andrews Hotel. Kimmie and Tracee were the first to join my soon to be growing posse of people I was honored enough to pick up or drop off at the airport.
We wanted the first thing we did in New York was eat something authentically New York and indigenous to the area. So we did all this research and wanted to try some New York Ice Cream at this cute little New York French Bistro called Baskin Robbins. Pronounced, Baske Rohbaens, emphasis on the ‘baens’. It’s French or Franche if you’re elitist. And we were. It was around lunch time now so I got Pralines and Cream and Kimmie got a bagel and Tracee got Mint Chocolate Chip.
The French bistro was attached to this really sweet Russian/Italian place called Dunkin’ Donuts. Very chic. Nice atmosphere. New York is such a magical place.
It was here I learned that Tracee was Miss Michigan 3rd Runner up some time in her younger days. That explained the paparazzi. We left the quaint patisserie and made for the hotel. It was too early to check in so I asked the dude what there was in Great Neck that we HAD to check out. He said Bruce’s Bakery up the street. The area was about 5 notches up from Birmingham. Really really nice, but not very very expensive. Circling the hotel looking for a parking spot I had already spotted my favorite place in Great Neck.
The Gaze-Bo.

ga·ze·bo
Pronunciation:
\gə-ˈzē-(ˌ)bō also -ˈzā-\
: a freestanding roofed structure usually open on the sides
Lined with flags, this model of Americana culture sat invitingly in the park amidst playgrounds, seat benches a mini water park and grass.
My heart was like, “Gazebo! Gazebo! Yaaayyy! Gazebo!”
But since Kimmie and Tracee were there, I was like, “Maybe we can hang over there.”
We chilled at the Gaze Bo and tried to re-enact movies that involved Gaze Bos. Tracee said the Sound of Music earlier and I was like, “yeah, haha” but I really couldn’t picture the scene. But when I walked to the gazebo and sat in the bench, I felt like I was sixteen going on seventeen and all the memories came rushing back of my days as a little girl in Austria, innocent yet fearful of the Auschwitz. We proceeded to do the turn kicks off the benches, you know, the turn kicks that capture the essence of new true secret love when trapped in the rain. Those kicks, except better.
After picking some Edelweiss, talking about a few of our favorite things and strolling around the park we proceeded to check out the shops and make our way to Bruce’s Bakery. Bruce’s Bakery was like we really didn’t know what we were experiencing while we were experiencing it, but we were aware we were in the presence of greatness. You knew the place was great because Bruce has a million pictures of himself handing celebrities their birthday or special event cakes. Many many celebrities. Got the award winning Challah French Toast and a mushroom, sausage, cheddar cheese omelette split between me and Kimmie and Tracee. People should split meals more often. Society here has inflated serving sizes. You’re getting more for your money! Um, no. You’re making me eat too much.
The food was fantastalicious. You know it was on when a waiter dropped off an assortment of square and circle pastries, rolls, and coleslaw before the meal. Who gives pastries out before the meal? Awesome. Bruce, baker to the stars, I applaud you. Tiny golf clap.
By this time we could check into our room.
“We upgraded your room for free.”
!!!!!
Ladies and Gentlemen!!! Welcome to Triple Super Uber Awesome Savings and Deals Days here in New York City!!! Where the Mike’s Hard Lemonade flows like So Co and lime, the rates get lower on rental cars every time you call back, and rooms upgraded for free because we feel like it!!!
Room 301. Not the sleep room.
Kimmie and Tracee went to get their mani-pedis. I had just enough time to enjoy the A/C and relax a bit on the couch before driving to JFK to pick up Chrissy and Jon G. Members 3 and 4 of my posse. I LOVE picking up and dropping off people from the airport. I love the excitement of seeing someone I haven’t seen in a while and how happy they are to be picked up thus marking the end of their airport experience for the time being and beginning of awesome time. I learned that Chrissy is looking fabulous despite a broken knee that she MUST stay off of because not playing outside in California should be a federal offense punishable by caning. She has to be fully healthy before she can play so she can play forever and ever. Jon G is a balling architect that is kicking butt in SF but is thinking about NY. Man I love these two. So chilled, so laid back, so good to go. Mission See Everyone is slowly being accomplished.
Amit and Alison arrive at the Hotel. More feel good feelings of feelings of joy. Room 215.
5:30pm Jon Yang arrives at JFK. I was debating on letting him cab it, but when I heard his voice I had to go get him. Jon G navigated. Time with this heavy thinker in a car is like gold to me. I would pay tons of money to talk with Jon and a few other people in a confined space. I wasn’t gonna let this opportunity pass. This was why I came. Back to JFK. Member 5 of the posse. Jon Yang and his life partner James Wang recently bought matching luggage. They’re really pretty. I love talking basketball with Jon Yang. We both know it’s just basketball. But we also know it’s so much more than basketball. Basketball can shape individual hearts and entire countries.
At this point, one of my worst fears for the weekend had already begun to manifest. Fracture. The A-Listers were in the city and trying to get together for dinner. Lynn, Palak, Jill, Steve, Sam, Dann, etc. You know, the REALLY good looking people. The people who make you wonder why you’re writing long blogs instead of working out or eating some green vegetable.
Hmmm…. A-Listers in the city or Panchos The Best TexMex since 1991.
I mean, there’s a reason I’m a C-Lister and it probably has a lot to with beef enchiladas.
I’m sure there was slight FOMO for all parties involved. But Panchos was the venue for the first group culinary culmination in my microcosm and it would more than suffice.
We talked about best friends and the definition of a best friend. We talked about some people’s need to define a person as a best friend and other people’s need to not. We discussed the dangers of labeling friends as “best” because of how emotionally vulnerable that leaves you. I loved it because I love best friends. You can tell so much of a person by their best friends in each stage of their life. But there are those who would rather not label friends as their best friends. I loved that too because it makes me try to think of different vocabulary and language to try and understand those people also. If you can tell a lot about a person from their best friend, yet they choose to not label anyone as their best friend, how can you learn as much about that person as you would if you knew who that person’s best friend was? If you can tell a lot about a person by where they live, but they don’t have a place they call home, how can you learn as much about that person as if you did lie on their bed and experience their home? How can you learn more, how can you connect more, how can you share more in less familiar circumstances? Is it really good to keep everyone at arms length because you choose to not be that vulnerable?
I put Jon G on blast to share with the group about his speed dating experiences because I’m so so curious about that whole phenomenon.

I split nachos with Tracee and beef enchiladas with Jon Yang. How is it that Jon eats just one meal a day? I think it’s genius if your body can do it. During the week I try and get by on like… 1700 calories a day….pump it to about 2400 on the weekends to keep the metabolism high….
I’m seeing all these parallels between Edward Cullen and Jon Yang. Noticed it all weekend. Devastatingly beautiful. Wise beyond his years. No need to eat food. No need to sleep at night. Unnatural interest in 16-17 year old girl’s lives.
I love all the new questions that old friends bring up without even trying. It’s like your mind gets in this rut, pondering the same things for so long… and friends you haven’t seen in a while are the perfect vehicle for drifting into new areas of thought again.
That’s the greatest part about getting together and breaking bread together. Or in this case crunching tortillas together.
We lingered and the time came to pick up Annalisa and Babbs. Right then, Kyle showed up like the baller he is. So tough, so cool, but just the nicest guy you’ll ever meet. He even offered to pick up them up from the airport because I must be tired. But I love picking people up from the airport… so I shot over to LaGuardia. On the way, Babbs tells me he’s stuck in Detroit. HUGE disappointment. I was so looking forward to picking up Babbs.
Annalisa got stuck next to big smelly I-don’t-know-what-personal-space-is guy. Annalisa really cannot handle that guy. But… her amazingly inspiring experience that she had at the American Cancer Society National Conference couldn’t keep her down. I LOVE when she’s inspired and excited about the people in her management that are striving so hard to find a cure for cancer. When was the last time you were inspired by and excited about your upper management? I love when she talks about great and moving experiences at work.
When we got back, I think Martin and Aileen were waiting for us. Aileen is beautifully 5 months pregnant with Alaya Hope Bruce. Martin pulled out this scrapbook and I think officially became the first guy I know to scrapbook. I REALLY wish I had that in me. The most I can do is take pictures with my Canon SD1000. He’s saving the ultrasounds and writing by hand in the captions. It is so awesome. They are such a beautiful couple and I am so excited for their baby to be here so I can hug and kiss her. Martin is so great about asking for advice for the weeks and months and years ahead. With all that Annalisa and I have learned about caring for babies, we are more than happy to dish out advice and opinions. Seeing Martin again was like another puzzle piece of my heart clicking into place for the weekend. I love where he’s at right now. 5 months pregnant with your first is no joke. Very intense time. Worried about exposure to smoke, hypersensitive to your wife’s needs, but still not wanting to sacrifice all that you are. I love that he’s in it because it’s another guy friend that understands that point in life. Annalisa and I kind of got into all that stuff earlier than our friends, so it’s great to be there for them now that they’re in it.
When Annalisa got to spend some real time with Chrissy my heart felt so full. She’s wanted that for so long and she really really misses her best friend. All of that plays such an important role in my life because if mama isn’t happy, nobody can truly be happy. So I loved that Annalisa and Chrissy got to spend so much time together this weekend. Breakfasts, pedicures, sleeping, dancing, pizza in the rain, all that.
Finally, maybe around 11:30pm Babbs called and arrived in Laguardia… oh yeah baby.. more quality time in confined spaces with juggerthoughts Babbs, Jon Yang, and Jon G…. that’s what it’s all about….. We jumped a little deeper into the best friend discussion and somehow, I think probably from Jon Yang coaxing, he got me talking in a different direction. I voiced my desire to talk about deeper things with this particular group of friends. I told him I kind of wanted to get into religion and politics. I wanted to talk about McCain and Obama, and abortion, and gay marriage. Jon Yang was all for it and Jon G voiced all the concerns my heart already had with such a discussion in these types of settings. It could blow everything up. People could leave the conversation emotionally charged and angry at other people’s mindsets. Before where there was gray area that we could all wade in and enjoy, those waters would be more distinctly black and white. Once there stood a person who you had the utmost respect for and now you only see another radical pro-lifer or choicer. Do we really want to risk that? Do we really want to risk all the love that pervades and permeates the group dynamic now? The line is precarious. It could all come crashing. Why then? Why risk?
Significant reward. For me at least. I have a Bible Study that I discuss these issues with but since we’re all studying the same things and trying to stay aware of what the Catholic Church is teaching, the all too important counterpoint is missing. The genuine and real other side of the story. The different vocabulary. The challenge. The deep and personal challenge that I may be living my life incorrectly and that maybe I should rethink my stance and that maybe I should change my ways. It’s that challenge I crave sometimes, not because I doubt my positions, but rather to see how strong my convictions are. The whole process in my opinion leads to more strength. Possibly and probably more breakdowns, but eventually more strength. That’s why I would risk. But it is a very significant risk.
I guess what I’m saying is that if we can’t talk about this stuff with our friends without all of it blowing up then I’m worried that the only people talking about it are the politicians…. And I trust their circle of friends far less than I trust mine. Potentially, we have an absolutely dominant think tank on our hands here. If we do, I want to tap into it. If we don’t, it’s scary to think about the love lost along the way.
Emotion is the key in these discourses. Too emotional and things break down. Not enough emotion and you may come off as not caring. Being in perpetual search of my emotional center is kind of what I’ve unwittingly subscribed to as a parent. So, rocking the boat on the water is not as difficult as it was when I was younger.
That’s what Babbs was getting into when he got in the car. Talking about talking. Conversing about conversations to come.
For some reason everyone loves Babbs. I don’t know anyone that thinks he’s a dick. He’s got such an incredibly sensitive soul. He makes himself completely vulnerable. That’s why I think the lows are so low with him and the highs so high. He’s one of my favorite people because he can disarm with his smile and his words. He listens and challenges and questions. He creates words that mesh into meaning on the fly. He weaves together past and present in stories that amuse and captivate. He’s probably one of the most likeable people I’ve ever met. And if you’re a pretty girl, he’s got you without even trying. I imagine girls imagine what it would be like to be with Babbs. I imagine my sweet jumper floating over his outstretched arm and anguished face hitting nothing but net. That to me is sexy.
So Babbs rounded out my posse for Friday. 4 perfectly wonderful runs to the airport. 2 to LGA. 2 to JFK. 4 times I got to see faces relieved and happy to see me. I live for it.
Everyone just wanted to see everyone. That’s all that they wanted. “What did you want to do this weekend?”…. “I just wanted to see everyone.” That’s it. That’s all we did then. We sat around the chill room and munched on pizza and laughed. I realized one of my goals for the weekend was to get to know Alison better. She was the youngest in the room and not affected by it at all. She’s half Columbian half Haitian and her parents had the same worries about her having an accent growing up as mine did. Apparently she has a beautiful singing voice, but I can attest that she has a beautiful conversational voice. Breathy yet light. She has to be careful in the non-profit world. It can be so difficult. Apparently upon meeting Amit for the first time, he communicated in a post script that they would be best friends. Yet he failed to mention to her that he used to clog. So their relationship thus far has basically been one big lie. Complicated, I know. This is also what I came for. This is also what I wanted and want more of as I sit in my cube.
After cuddling with Amit and Babbs under the covers a bit. They eventually left like the whores they are and I got to sleep next to my wife on the fold out bed.
Sleep. There are so many processes in your head that let you be aware of what needs to be done. At home, if one of the boys wakes up with a virus, I know which ER to bring them to and how long it takes to get there. In New York, that process is running but I don’t need it to because there is nothing I could do about it. So I shut it off. Multiplied by the hundred processes necessary to maintain three boys, and you’ve got something not dissimilar from a re-boot.
Oh, thank you PZ. Thank you Amy. Thank you for loving each other so much that Annalisa and I might get a chance to re-boot. Start, log-off, re-boot. Sleep.
Free continental breakfast. I’m all about ‘em. Kimmie woke up first. Tracee shared a ridiculous dream about her hairdryer breaking. Annalisa ridiculously told her not to worry because she brought hers. It was a dream, come on, that’s ridiculous. That’s what I woke up to.
I had to run. That’s what my body is used to doing. I love running in new surroundings and my body wants to anyways, so I ran. I asked a native where to run and he told me where another park was. I discovered another gaze-bo and a beautifully manicured baseball field. I had visions of playing kickball with my homeys. On a wonderfully muggy New York day, I ran about 3-4 miles.
This is it. The big day. The weather was nice but it started to drizzle during breakfast. I heard it might be an outdoor wedding…. Usually when I hear that, it’s usually not an outdoor wedding. So rain wouldn’t matter either way. There was all this debate over when the people dancing should practice. Things officially got crazy when Palak, Rudhir, Sam, Jill, Adarsh, Thripa?, and Thyda showed up. Yes…. More and more…. Rudhir helped me figure out what I should do about the boy’s childhood education when he should have been napping… Maybe I will go with the Michigan Education Trust and just take out a loan to pay for the boy’s 8 semesters. Got Soul? Snuck away to practice in a parking structure with the radio blaring. Love it.
Annalisa and Chrissy left to get pizzas and then…. Down pour… Monsoon style. I forgot to feed the meter after my run that morning so I got a parking ticket. That’s how I knew I was with Ann Arbor people. Went to get the girls and pizza. We feasted. Pizza was such a good call.
Suj and Stella showed in time for pizza. My goodness these two looked fabulous. Suj, I believe is a lawyer and Stella plastic surgeon. What? I instantly wondered what part of me I could enhance. Maybe better pecs like Suj.
As people got ready, I got a chance to take a picture with Sam. He was wearing a black tuxedo with the white tuxedo shirt untucked. That along with his mane and polka dot bow tie and green watch made him look so cool. Me? Gray suit, shaved head, blue shirt tucked in, yellow tie. Booooooring. He’s bringing sexy back and I’m setting sexy back about 50 years.
I guess while we’re on the self-conscious self bashing comparing myself to other people train, what’s up with Dann Lee? “Hey Dann, what’s up? I’m gonna go lift something heavy multiple times. Maybe a bushel of corn or a Volkswagen. How many times? Oh, I’m thinking 43 sets of 30 might get me to where you’re at.” He could be so mean and intimidating if he wanted to be, but he’s not, he’s kind and unassuming. It’d be easier to hate him if he was just meaner. But he’s not, so I love him. I just hate me and my flab.
The whole weekend was a testament to Amy’s genius. There’s no way that PZ could have been this smart. Shuttles to the ceremony/reception was perfect. People could imbibe as they pleased and not have to worry. I sat in the back of the bus with the other troublemaker kids. Called Lynn to see if Ed was going to make it. Her, Leslie, and Sharon were on their way, but Ed was hurting in Chicago.
The venue was amazing. Stone mansion like structure with deep brown wood floors and trim.
When I stepped outside to the back of the mansion, I discovered the extent to which an absolute crisis was averted. There were rows and rows of the beautiful white wooden chairs you see in movies facing a white arch laced with purple flowers and green vine. Under the white arch were the unity candles and a table. Through the arch you saw a beautiful field, past the field was a lake, past the lake was forest. THIS is what Pierre and Amy envisioned when they chose this place. This is what the monsoon a few hours earlier threatened to take away. Now knowing that this could all have not been here made the place immeasurably more magical.
Scott, Ant, JB, Shao, Poon, Jason Lee… pimped out and ready to go. Pierre and Amy rolling like thirty deep now. Their love reaching across space and time to reconnect smiles and lives. Looking around the room I didn’t know who to talk to because I wanted to talk to them all. Learn everything. Calm down. Just enjoy.
When we were called to go outside again and sit, I wanted front row seats. I really wanted to be there. Right in the mix, watching it all go down.
Leslie, Lynn, and Sharon arrived all looking amazing. Leslie has the sweetest and most caring heart. Lynn is hands down one of my best friends. Sharon I love to pieces even more now that I heard she helped Lynn try to choose wedding dresses. Lynn should be picking dresses with her best friend Connie and when that is difficult because they never see each other, I worry that my friend Lynn won’t have anyone to pick dresses with. Every girl should have girlfriends to pick wedding dresses with.
Then the most soothing honey dipped voice came through the speakers encouraging us to sit so the ceremony could begin. The officiant was this beautiful actress like lady that I swear could have been one of those models at the auto shows expertly telling you about all the new features of the BMW 7 series. She was graceful and practiced and warm. She comforted you with her smile, gaze and her maternal aura. She could casually tell you to jump off a cliff and you’d consider it because it sounded so nice when she said it.
Pierre.
There are very very few like Pierre. He’s concerned and caring and motivated. Armed with a great sense of humor and a laid back nature, it’s fair to say that everyone loves hanging with him. Throw in the fact that he’s a goof in front of a video camera, is an extremely hard worker, and arguably one of the top 3 dancers ever to come through FunKtion, and you’ve got a guy that can literally rock worlds. The combined caliber of the people who attended the wedding in my opinion is one of the greatest testaments to who Pierre is. He moves people. He moved me.
The little hug he gave his dad before walking down the rows of white chairs started me off. You could tell he’s a kid that dared to dream, and in the midst of the dream coming true, he was emotional. If it were easy I don’t think he would have shed a tear. But I know the stress and joy of a wedding. I know the love and sacrifice. Let the man be emotional.
But come on, pull yourself together man.
Haha
I loved it. His eyes were red and puffy when Amy descended from whatever cloud she was on to grace us with her smile. My goodness she was stunning. She was stunning on the wedding window website. She was stunning in the picture when you first walked into the mansion. She was stunning as she walked toward Pierre now. I told Amy Kuo later what I thought of Amy Wang’s beauty and she said she thinks it’s because her internal beauty matches perfectly with her external features, and that’s why she has that extra something people can’t put their fingers on. I think I completely agree. I went back to look at the picture of Pierre and Amy at the front of the mansion and I thought, “Dang dude, I love you man, but I have no idea how you got a girl as gorgeous as that.”
When the velvet voice returned she shared personal stories about Amy and Pierre, one of the comments she made stood out in my mind... it was the one about how Pierre never asked her to be someone she wasn't... He accepted her for who she was and never asked her to change her beliefs... These comments were so significant to me because of their history, why they broke up in the first place, and the hurdles they've overcome so far just to get to the point where they were now. I think Amy was wiping away his tears now or picking some dust off of his forehead. Man, she was a rock.
The exchanging of vows is always a big deal to me at weddings. Forever and ever and ever... no matter what.... that's essentially what they're saying. I love that part of the wedding because it makes me remember my vows, and all my promises to Annalisa. I squeeze her hand and think I'm gonna take care of her forever and ever no matter what.
The whole ceremony was classic movie worthy. The rain earlier really cooled the whole thing to a manageable warmth and humidity.
It should be noted that the best man did a great job of keeping the bored ring bearer in check and Amy Kuo and Steve also did a good job not crying. Now that I think about it, Steve did a great job all weekend. He is a perfect groomsman because he's so willing and incredibly able. Sometimes you got dudes that want to help, but just are good at it...Sometimes no one really wants to help... Steve was a great groomsman in my opinion.
When they walked back down the aisle as man and wife I was so happy for them and so excited for the rest of the night. Everyone was pretty much giddy at this point. Soaking in the moment and the sun, I moved inside to case the place again.
Yummy cheese noodles... probably tortellini was served... I was in line when Steve came to me with that look... I can never turn down friends when they got that look.... I don't know if it was genuine or not, but it looked like he needed me. In the end, he really didn't need me, it's just that he really wanted Annalisa and I to be part of the dance no matter how small the role, so he etched out a tiny little place for us. One that we could handle, and he knew it. So even though I told myself I wasn't going to dance no matter what because I didn't have the energy or time to commit to it, there I was, practicing a routine I hadn't practiced for about 6 years... I was so glad to have a tiny little part though because I loved seeing everyone slightly nervous. I love the feeling of being nervous and seeing grown professionals clearly nervous also. some six figure freaks that command board rooms are worried again about 8 counts.... amazing all the aspects of dance physically and mentally... There in a small alcove in a corner tucked away on the outside of the mansion, we did what we did so many times over in college. Sweated and crammed and got silly and serious before a big gig. At one point, Aileen asked me, "Is this how it was in college?" At that point in time, Shao was practicing with a drink in his hand while Jason and Dann were smoking while rehearsing. I said, "Yeah, but in college we didn't smoke and drink as much during practice." When these Koreans get together they are freaking hilarious. They drink so much and play off of each other so much, it's a great energy and so fun to be around. It was really amazing to see all these pretty girls dancing again also. Their collective beauty was really breathtaking. A sight to behold. I got a chance to catch up with Rollen also... he's working for a defense department... if his missile bay doors don't open... then the missiles can't fire.... oh my goodness he has an important job....
Dinner. Dinner was a riot. People could literally not stay seated. Pierre and Amy had us next to the music. Our crew took up at least 4 tables.... that's 40 deep at least. It was raucous. Wilson Phillips Hold On drew swaying and eyes squeezed tight with clenched fists and loud singing... Firehouse To Be With You did the same... Every time a Backstreet boy or NSYNC song came on I could see Stella, Scott, Steve, and Ant mouthing all the words at the next table along with Chrissy, Leslie, and Sharon 2 tables over... Multiple trips to the bar for my weak Peach Schnapps and sour mix drinks... except when the Koreans got ahold of me... then it was shots of SoCo and lime... Shao asked me if I wanted a drink, we walked to the bar, and all of a sudden we were knee deep in a conversation involving career, spirituality, and family. I loved it. Shao was loving the whole evening and the whole evening was loving Shao. I am so blessed to have him share his story with me and I can't wait to see what the future holds for him. It's hilarious that he's a successful 25 year old professional and Sam can make him feel like a 17 year old freshman again. One day I think he might go postal on Sam though. "I'm a grown ass man!!"
There were sooo many good songs being played at dinner. My tenderloin was good, Annalisa's bass was better, but Kimmie's duck was best I think. I like when JB fed Shao.
The energy at our tables was tangible and everyone just seemed to be so happy. Multiple toasts and lots of hugs and loud singing.
I was so curious about the dresses and the ladies did not let down. The polls were open and the dresses were beautiful. Jasmine and Sharon jumped out to an early lead with Jill close on their heels. Jasmine’s was this blue and gold swirly thingy with these two handle thingys in the back. Sharon’s was this simple deep blue with flowers on the bottom thingy. Jill’s was dark chocolate brown with this center sparkle thingy. Adarsh’s girlfriend, Thripa?, won best accessory with this large circle red characters emblem thingy.
The best man and maid of honor speeches were fantastic.
“I’m a snowflake.” Wow. I got no words.
Drunken uninvited speeches. I think these speeches have to be my favorite. I love it when Amit tells the old stories about how he founded FunKtion and 2XS by himself. They just bring back great memories of when I could be in the same room as him. Haha…. He was so worried he said stuff that made him sound like he started the groups himself. I personally didn’t hear him say anything like that. But clearly he was self conscious and drunk, so why not feed his fears? Drunken uninvited speeches though. I like.
I was hyper aware of the time slipping away all night. I would have love to press pause on that dinner. But it eventually finished and we were invited to move to the dance floor. Annalisa got emotional during the father daughter dance, and when she cries about stuff like that, it always sets me off too.
Rudhir and Palak’s vibe all night was pretty great to be around. You can kind of tell how into each other they are. Palak looked so happy and comfortable. Same with Rudhir. He was just the coolest guy in college and he still is. The fact that he seems to care for Palak and makes her so happy makes him that much more awesome. However, the Michigan Movement took a huge blow when Palak informed me that she had given up on Michigan. She couldn’t find a job there and moved to DC. I felt a deep sense of loss and exasperation when I heard the cause had lost Palak. I soldier on alone. Move to Michigan.
“By God, there’ll be dancing.”
Dancing. Gyrating. Shaking. Shimmying. Freestyle. Choreographed.
These are just a few of the words that describe what bound us all together in the first place. I believe that when two people engage in intercourse, parts of their souls are bound forever. That explains the intangible link that people feel with someone they’ve been intimate with before. Even though there’s no reason that many years later they should feel anything. There is no reason why I should feel drawn or close to these people anymore. I haven’t seen them in so long, and there is so much of each other’s lives that we’ve missed and were not apart of. But something happened a long time ago…. And we’re all bound.
Pierre’s Friends danced the crap out of a routine that spanned the ages. People were going all out. These are awesome gigs because there really is no chance of failure. You just dance your ass off, everyone screams for you because they love you regardless. You can’t lose really. I’m still so good at cheering for people when they dance. It’s a gift I think. I just love cheering for people when they’ve got their silly face or hard face of sexy sexy face on and banging out moves.
I know that Pierre and Amy appreciated it, and it was a great gift to get. I would give tons of props to Steve and Sam. They are really born leaders. I would follow them anywhere really.
Annalisa drank with peeps. I drank with peeps. I requested DeBarge and Cherry Wine. He played them. I don’t know who requested Let’s Hear it for the Boy, but damn that was a good call. During sexy sexy dance and grind time, I had to cool off, because the last few times I felt sexy I kept having kids and that’s getting kind of expensive.
There are really no amount of paragraphs that can capture how fun it is to dance with these guys. They are just so hilarious and silly and in touch with the music. Truly nothing could faze us. We were invincible again. Young.
As the night came to a close Martin and Aileen saved a wonderful surprise for me and Annalisa. They shared with us that we would be Ninong and Ninang to Alaya Hope Bruce. Oh my goodness. Annalisa started to cry, I lost it again. We were so happy and proud. We’re going to California for the baptism! I can’t wait to meet Alaya. I want to hug and kiss her and sing songs to her telling her how much Jesus loves her.
The time came to go home and I was seriously thinking about leading a coup on the DJ. Forcing the DJ to play music until we all passed out on the dance floor sounded so right to me. It was clearly our destiny to dance into oblivion. But the shuttles were leaving.
Kaking Lai. Jullo. Ba. Halekana. I forget the Korean one. Figures, the Koreans weren’t listening anyways.
But it was time to go back to the Andrews.
On the way back, I lamented with the driver about Kwame Brown going to Detroit. We stopped for alcohol and I bought 2 40’s of the good stuff. MHL.
Ed was in the lobby when we got back. Here’s why Ed is awesome. He just had the crappiest day, he missed the whole wedding, and didn’t get to spend any time with Lynn. It was perfectly within his right to act all bitter and bitchy. But he didn’t. He was cool, relaxed, sleepy but kind. Ed is awesome. I love how much he loves Lynn and I love that she’s happy.
Little by little people started falling asleep. We tried to play games but I think everyone was just tired. Ant was sawing logs and it was getting serious. So Jason and Poon asked, “Why so serious?” in their own special way.
It was late but I had some energy so I tried to make a push to the Gaze-bo. Babbs was going to come but he relieved himself in Amit’s room instead. Me, Amit, Jon Yang, Daniels, and Kangs went to the gaze-bo. I sang Part of Your World with Amit, Jon, and Daniels.
Sleep. Art Fair. Bruce’s Bakery. Gaze-Bo. Sam’s. Sam’s Helmet. Sam’s Scooter. Habana. Babb’s relieving revelation. “She told him to.” Spirit Airlines are poopy.
My goodness I had such a wonderful time. I feel a slight melancholy now that it’s over and it’s interesting to me that it took just about as long to write this blog as it took to experience the experiences. But anytime I’m inspired to write anything must be pounced upon. I have a serious FOMO when it comes to that. Again, I can really only attribute all that inspiration to the love between Pierre and Amy. I love to think that none of this weekend would have happened if they didn’t love each other so much. How can love between two people move so significantly so many others?
That’s love I guess.
That’s Pierre. That’s Amy.

A Father's Prayer
Build me a son, O Lord,who will be strong enough to know when he is weak,and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid;one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat,and humble and gentle in victory.
Lead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort,but under the stress and spur of difficulties and challenge.
Here let him learn to stand up in the storm;here let him learn compassion for those who fail.
Build me a son whose heart will be clear, whose goal will be high,a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men,one who will reach into the future,yet never forget the past.
And, after all these things are his,give him, I pray, enough of a sense of humor, so that he may always be serious,yet never take himself too seriously.
Give him humility,so that he may always remember the simplicity of true greatness,the open mind of true strength.Then I, his father, will dare to whisper,‘I have not lived in vain.'

----------

Dear Lord, please please watch over them. Whisper to their hearts that they are truly loved and that mama and papa will be home soon.

Went to the Jason Mraz concert a few weeks ago at the ex-State Theater in Detroit.

It was epic. Arguably the best performance I’ve seen in person in my life. Right up there with Lauryn when Outkast opened for her here to kick off her Miseducation tour.

You know the slow song on one of your favorite albums that isn’t that great but you’re not gonna fast forward through it?

That’s Track 6: Love For a Child on Mraz’s new cd We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things.

The other tracks are so much better and funner, sexier, and cooler. But this song has my favorite line.

“What about taking this empty cup, and filling it up with a little bit more of innocence, I haven’t had enough, it’s probably because, when you’re young, it’s okay to be easily ignored, I’d like to believe it was all about love for a child.”

Innocence.
Someone once told me you can never go back to just holding hands. The point in the relationship where holding hands is new and electric, euphoric. You’ve never known anything more, so holding hands right then was the best feeling in your life. Once the relationship takes the next steps physically, you can never go back.

First heartbreak. First disappointment in a best friend. First understanding that a parent is fallible. First funeral.

Once you lose innocence, it’s gone.

The worst is when you don’t know you’ve lost it. When did you lose your sensitivity to violence? There’s a part of you that knows that exposing yourself to too much gratuitous violence is not healthy. That’s your ghost of innocence whispering to you quietly from purgatory, asking you to remember.

My children were born into a post hand holding era. They entered past the first kiss, past 2nd base, past the first time, past the tenth partner. Welcome, dear children, to the part of the relationship where people get bored and start to take each other for granted.

There is no innocence in the abortion or gay marriage debates. Innocence is gone long before these conversations.

When Isaiah dances he gets so serious. Somehow with all the dancing around to songs we do in the house, when it comes to weddings, it translates into very very serious versions of robot kung fu spin dancing. I can see that he feels the need to move and shake and kick, but he is also hyper aware of the eyes on him.
My heart soars when I watch him dancing, running, or playing with the hose in the 3 dollar plastic pool.

Ethan wants so badly for you to read to him. Chickens stuck in mud. Dinosaurs in cars. Goofy catches a fish. He wants to point and name and be affirmed and hugged. He wants to hide and surprise and get the monsters. He wants to run and run and grab and wrestle. He wants to pray and eat and eat. Every time he lets me hold him and I get to put my chin on his head, I petition God to help Ethan break through all my shortcomings and build him up as strong as possible. His laughter is so pure. It’s like you could keep filling your heart up through your ears with the sound of his laughter and never get full. When kuya goes out of his way to make baby brother laugh over and over again. When the minutes go by filled with silly noises, faces, and giggles. These pictures painted against the backdrop of anxiety, money, natural disasters, the news… Internal emotional breakdowns out of thankfulness occur daily.

And Owen. My tiny little rewind button.

“I want juice. I want juice. I want juiiiiiicce.” , says Isaiah.
“Wan joos…wan joos…”, says Ethan

As Owen contently sucks his toes.

What a blessing it is to see what will be and what is simultaneously.

At a month and half, Owen was trying to connect. Calling you with his eyes, engaging you with faces, encouraging you to talk to him and smile to him. For this you get a big silly grin. A grin that tells you that you are recognized and appreciated. Today he is 5 months old. Yesterday he got into it with the pentapus that hangs from his baby gym. He grabbed his legs and gnawed on his feet then whined and fell asleep. He doesn’t need to be held. He doesn’t need to be cuddled. He just sleeps until his brothers wake him up and then passes out smiles like candy. He wants to talk so badly. You can tell in every ba-ba and coo and sigh. To hold him is to hold the best parts of life close to you.

To protect them is the definition of the preservation of innocence.

Dear God, please please watch over them.

…
We played our third soccer game on Wednesday. We played a mostly American team that was somewhat skilled and their endurance and speed lacked a bit. But it was enough to draw with us. 2-2. On the first game of the year we played a mostly French team but with a hodge podge other tall European players sprinkled in. I can honestly say that I’ve worked hard almost every day since last August trying to eat right and run and lift so that I can make a positive contribution to my team and not just be a defensive liability. The results of that work are almost indecipherable on the field if you were to watch me. True the steps I’ve taken forward have been small. But they are significant steps forward to me.

I’ve learned a few things.
I’ve learned that my ideal game shape is probably somewhere between 153 and 160 pounds. A lean, muscular 158 will probably put me in the best position to contribute.
153 is pushed off the ball easily. 163 is too slow.
I’ve learned that 6th gear is where you want to be. I can get mesmerized so easily with the ebb & flow of the game, that I forget to push at every stage. I even forget to will myself into 6th gear when I’m battling to create separation. 4th gear will make for a good showing and goals are so sparse in this game anyway that no one would think less if I didn’t put this ball away. Unacceptable. Keep that up and you’ll be in fourth gear your whole life. The model of mental mediocrity.

The answer to the question of whether or not you can get hunger back: Choice.

You choose to be hungry. Hungry at every stage in every facet.

People don’t say, “I choose to lose the close ones.” They say the same thing by saying, “I choose to have this 3rd cheeseburger.”

They don’t say, “I choose to play with less intensity.” They say the same thing by saying, “I choose to spend time doing yard work rather than going on a tempo run.”

Is it mediocre of you to choose training for a sport over spending time with family? Depends on the hat you’re choosing to wear. With the kids you’re Super Dad, on the field you’re Mr. Can’t Make the Run. On the field you’re a game breaker, but at home your kid’s flunking math.

Choose.

Against the French/European team in the first game, we were tied 0-0 halfway through the second half. My team consists of stand out soccer players and phenoms. I am by far one of the worst players on the team. But I know that few on the team hungered to contribute as I did the past 10 months. Before I went back in, I totally prayed to God. Please God, I want so bad to score. I know I can do it, and they need me to. I’ve run so many miles. Please.
There was a scrum in the middle just outside the box, to create space for the phenoms, I’m a little wide on the right side. The ball comes loose, me and Carlo make eye contact, he splits the D… I one time it lower left just outside of reach of the keeper.

Just after the ball goes an inch past his glove, I turn and clench my fist, small air punch, eyes squeezed tight for half a second, something low and guttural escapes my mouth. Yes.

1-0. Small numbers, big for me. It was heaven to see the relief on the faces of the guys after finally putting one in the back on a team that we were dominating. First goal of the year. We ended up winning 2-0 and my only regret is that I didn’t do the little dance that Mark was doing when he scored. That would’ve been awesome. Would’ve bought me so much cred with the squad.

We lost the next game 5-0. At the end, one of the better players on the team, I think he’s 19 years old got mad at the ref, called him an effing retard. When the ref gave him the red, he took the red from the refs hand and flinged it across the field, all the while dropping F bombs directed at the ref. I was standing right there. Never seen anything like it in my life.

Tied last game 2-2. Couldn’t hold the lead. Kept getting up and they kept answering.

We’re 1-1-1 now. I love soccer the way I love all my old friends. I’m intensely loyal.

Hunger.

Yearning. Need.

The will to survive. The will to truly live. To recognize the moment for what it really is… a moment… and pour your whole self into it.

It’s easy for me to look at Sheed, and Rip, and Billups and watch and study the humanity of their movements and conclude that yes, indeed they have lost their hunger. The reason why it’s so easy for me to spot is because I know the look so well.

I lost it too.

Obsessive intensity. Borderline maniacal. An urgency to prove to yourself. So that one day you might sleep at night and know. Know that you mastered it. That you gave yourself and loved so deeply that being denied was not an option.

So that you could smile inwardly and be proud of the work you put in.

Slowly, ever so slowly, over time, the game started to matter less and less. My freshman year of college I woke up almost every morning and shot jumpers at the CCRB. The fire was there. I could not take the option of not improving. I needed it. Every nuance of the game. My game. Every ounce of brainpower. You study it. You understand it. You love it. Winning meant you gave your all. Losing was devastating.

Pick up. 3 on 3 tourneys. Ballin’ with your boys. FASA. Schoolcraft. Jedi. Classics.

Slowly the intensity faded. As responsibilities pile up, you’re forced to understand that it’s just a game. If it’s just a game, it’s little more than tic-tac-toe or monopoly. If it’s tic-tac-toe, then it’s all the same. Winners and Losers. You do your best and that’s it.

Your best. Once you start to talk about your best, chances are you haven’t kicked some butt lately. In fact you probably just got wiped up.

I think it’s safe to say I’m doing my best right now. Spiritually. Physically. Paternally. As a spouse.

But through lack of prayer, lack of the Word, lack of service and Sacraments, my relationship with God is suffering.

Through lack of focus, laziness, unwillingness to control my diet, I’m not reaching my potential physically.

Through excuses and an unwillingness to manage time better I’m not reading to the boys enough or playing with them enough.

Through conscious choice not to be sensitive, caring, and kind, I cut down my wife with hurtful tones, demeanor, words, and lack of thought.

So what good is my best if this is where it leads.

I want more than my best then. I want real results.

But this is me now. This is my frustration at the end of game 6. This is me recognizing that hunger and bodies start to fade. This is me understanding that Sheed, Rip, and Billups forgot what it’s like to be hungry. To go through the motions, make a good showing, and fool yourself into thinking you’ve given all you could give. This is me watching them and seeing me. This is me understanding what happened. It happens slowly over time.

I wish I could tell you for sure that I know how this ends. Can you win without hunger? If not, how do you get hunger back? I don’t know.

But I do know that it’s gotta start from the inside out.

(sigh)

Dear Lord… I love You so much… I’m so tired.

The top is a tough place to be. Just ask Toyota, which is now facing charges of worker right abuses, including the use of sweat shops and human trafficking. As we've reported before, Japan even has a word for being overworked to death: karoshi. Toyota plants are not immune to this stress-related disease, as workers at its plants have indeed suffered death due to working too hard. These facts have caught the attention of The National Labor Committee, which has an entire report worked up that alleges Toyota over-works and under-pays its Japanese employees and has ties to various unsavory Dictators. It's also been well established that Toyota does not want its American workforce unionized.

autoblog.com
-----

I'm just sayin'.

Did you know that if someone you love gets into an accident in a vehicle equipped with OnStar that 4 seconds later an OnStar operator will be in their ear saying, "I see here that you may have been in an accident, are you alright?"

Dodge Park 5K Results

25:50

placed 65 of 172

Bonked at 2.5 miles.... calf acted up...
Icy Hot rules

Congratulations to Eric Galvez for being my 20000 email in my inbox!

Here's to 20000 more!

http://www.irs.gov/newsroom/article/0,,id=179181,00.html

Fifth question from the bottom says:
Q. Will the payment I receive in 2008 reduce my 2008 refund or increase the amount I owe for 2008?
A. No, the stimulus payment will not reduce your refund or increase the amount you owe when you file your 2008 return.

I interpret this as: We are giving you free money to boost the economy.

But people are saying that if they give me $1800 this year in the stimulus package, that next year instead of giving me back the $9000 in the refund, they would give me back $7200.

Anyone know anything?

I am the Boy.

I am not the Tree, yet.

"Come Boy", she whispered, "come and play."

Isn't that all you would want for someone you love?
Especially a child.

My eyes well up when I watch my Tree give and give and give to the Boy.
Every time the Tree would have him believe it to be meaningless, but a piece of herself nevertheless. Truly, what happens when you've given your whole self away?

I want to shake that Boy bounding off with the branches. Wipe that smile off his face. "Don't you know what it took?"
"Don't you understand the sacrifice?"

That's not happiness on your lips, it's selfishness.

I am the Boy. And I am so so ashamed of it.
I can never be the Tree.
I can only try.

Martin and Aileen Wedding Dance

Having 3 babies in a less than 4 year span makes Annalisa a super awesome pro. For me, I just wasn't as nervous this time around.

The background goes that the months leading up to yesterday were difficult but not over bearing... October was so difficult that I told Annalisa to try and wipe November clean of commitments... that was smart because December was difficult and January really picked up with respect to Annalisa working late.

I worked overtime this past weekend for the first time ever because of hot jobs. Isaiah threw up rice and egg into my hands on Sunday. Ethan has had a runny nose for a while. Annalisa got very sick with cough and a fever on Friday. Isaiah right now I'm told has a 103 temperature.
I've been taking tylenol for a headache.

I think it was Annalisa's illness that triggered the early labor.... It was 1/27/0 8 and she was due on 2/2/08. It was Sunday, but I was at work and Annalisa called saying that I need to emotionally prepare for the baby to be born this week because she felt some contractions..She woke from an afternoon nap on Sunday the 27th.... at 5pm.... she started to have irregular contractions from 5 to 6:30pm... more consistent contractions started at 6:30pm.... that is, the contractions were 6-10min apart lasting about a minute or so.... It's really important to pay attention to the length and duration because if they are not consistent enough or long enough, you might go to the hospital and they might send you home.... I was putting the boys to sleep when Annalisa told me at 10pm that she thought it was time.... Isaiah went nuts... he was so upset that we were leaving and he wanted to come with.... Kimmie, wonderful Kimmie, helped with the boys... she is so awesome...

10pm - leave for hospital
10:30pm - 4cm dilated and -2 station... this is great because they won't make us go home... yay!
11pm - admitted into a room
Nikki the nurse was this positive and uppity blonde that was so great during labor. Doctor Carla was this young African American woman with braces in glasses
11:30pm - moved to the room
11:39pm - IV administered
11:55pm - Started movie Step Up on the GetWell Network in the birthing room. awesome wireless keyboards on 28" flat screens mounted to the walls.
12:20am - 6-7cm! yes! we are flying through the dilation... exxxcccelent...
12:25am - Epidural administered... got in right under the wire... too far along in dilation, that is, 7-8cm.... and they won't give you the epidural anymore.... whew... drugs=goooood..
It's so funny how great the epidural is... Annalisa again goes from intense and terrible pain, to not even noticing if a contraction is happening.... awww yea.
12:42am - 10cm! Annalisa broke some speed dilation record with that one.... we're gonna push for 10min... like Ethan and this will be a done deal before Step Up is done... swwweeet.
12:55am - start pushing - break water

hmmmm.... not going so well... pushing isn't doing much....

1:30pm - Dr. Capili determines that the head is 45 degrees sideways which is why we're having trouble getting down the birth canal... Me and Annalisa's mom switch up.... I go from holding the leg and foot to counting to 10 by Annalisa's head... every contraction which is about a minute or so apart, Annalisa takes a big breath and then starts pushing for the 10 seconds I'm counting... when I get to ten, she takes another big breath and pushes, and then again one more time.... so 3 big pushes for 10 secs per contraction...
because Owen's head is cocked, Annalisa is given a bean bag to lie on face down and wiggle her hips to try and move the head the right way...

1:35 - movie Hairspray turned on on Get Well Network....awesome...

success! the babie's head has been turned the right way...
pushing is much more effective now...annalisa is now back on her back...

2:27am - Owen Ambrosio Agustin, 20".... there is a discrepancy between two written sources of the weight... one source says, 7lbs 6oz. the other source says, 7lbs 0.6oz.
sooooo... intrigue clouds the whole room...not really tho.

Owen is tiny and sweet and looks a little like Isaiah when he was a newborn... he's opening his eyes and his billyrubin is a little high which means he might be a little jaundice.... annalisa is feeding him now....I'm blogging from the wireless GetWell Network in our room.... room 506.... my parent's brought me a subway melt last night and Kimmie made cupcakes.... Kimmie covered watching the boys at night and my mom is covering watching the boys during the day.... it's 9am on Tuesday now and if all goes well we'll be going home in a few hours...

It's funny, I'm a little worried about work.... which means I must really care a lot because it pales in comparison to the importance of supporting Annalisa and the family right now....
it's also funny that Annalisa is itching to wrap up some stuff at work.... which is also an interesting statement considering the immense importance of the new baby.... Also, at her previous job, she took the last two weeks of work off before the due date of her pregnancy and this time she worked 'til the end..... so we're either commited employees with good work ethic, or we're insane workaholics with no perspective.....

I think we're just confident that we can take care of our boys, which leaves room in the mind to ponder more. Because if we were scared or fearful of our abilities to care for the family, I know for a fact we wouldn't be worrying about work.

I had a few experiences last night. The first came during Evan Almighty. When Morgan Freeman is talking to Lorelai.

"When people pray for patience, do you think I make them patient, or give them an opportunity to be patient? When they ask for courage, do you think I give them courage, or give them an opportunity to be courageous?"

He also went on to talk about the opportunity she has to stand by her husband in his crazy quest and how it was significant that the animals boarded the ark, 2 by 2. Side by side.

Side by side.

I was already a little worked up because of the profound way these notions touched me.

When the movie ended and right when the words The End showed on the screen and a kind volunteer knocked on the door and asked us if we wanted to partake in communion, I was overwhelmed.

We prayed and participated.
All the stress and difficulty of many situations was acknowledged and affirmed and cleansed in a way.
The non-serendipitous event of God coming to where I was amidst life.
Meeting me where I was.
I was moved at the gesture and thankful for the opportunity.

That's what we got, another opportunity.

Owen, I love you so much, and I'll try to be the best dad I can be.

Um.

Annalisa woke up from a nap today at around 5:15pm... that's when the contractions really started....
they're about 6-10 minutes apart lasting for a minute or so....
If history says anything, we might be in the hospital tonight...
we could really use the prayers, Annalisa was sick with a fever the last couple days, and Isaiah threw up today in my hands...
I worked a bunch of over time this weekend for the first time in history...
stress levels are pretty high right now....

took the kids sledding today....

This is my first poem ever.... I'm not sure what grade I was in...
maybe 5th or 6th...

DEEP IN THE NIGHT
Deep in the night I lean out my window to see what I can see,
I feel the cold chill upon my face and the wind whispering to me,
But it is cold and I am tired, it would be silly for me to stay,
So I put my head upon my pillow and in my bed I lay,

Deep in the night I lean out my window to see what I can see,
I think I'll just sit here and stare at the stars, till one or two or three,
With thoughts about love and life and laughter, all dancing in my head,
My mind will wander endlessly until I go to bed.

---
hmm...
interesting.... the first thing I like is that it was written... it's hard to get kids to write and attempt to be creative...
the second thing I like is the alliteration in "wind whispering" and "silly...stay"
and "stare at the stars" and "love..life..laughter"
I don't like the wording of endlessly followed by until... because until doesn't imply endless at all.
I also don't like that even now it's hard to explore other meters than AABB AACC.

Siopao - Annalisa's Moms

Doughmaker
Yeast - 1 pack
3.5 cups of flour
1/2 cup of sugar
1 cup of 1/2%milk/skim milk - warm it up
pinch of salt
1/4 cup of oil
-
put in dough maker
dough is done
divide up dough in portions
put in filling - close it - put on paper
let stand for 1/2 hour
steam 25 min. - let water boil first

Filling
Pork - Western Cut - 3-4lbs.
Onion - White (2 onions)
Garlic - 2 Cloves
Sugar - ?
Soy Sauce - ?
Ground Black Pepper
Oil
1.5 hours for sauce

Boil Pork until cooked ~ 30min.
Put Salt while boiling 1/2 teaspoon
Dice pork after cooked
cut up onion as you would for sautee
crush garlic

Get big fry pan
put oil - sautee garlic until brown
onions limp
pork (stirring/sauteeing)
cup of water used to boil
soy sauce - pork is brown - pepper also
let boil til liquid 50% gone
put cup of sugar
try it... add whatever
wait until liquid is evaporated

--
could be done 2 or 3 days ahead
easier to make siopao when sauce is cold so refrigerate ahead of time

Parents click here.

If you want to be at a certain point 6 months from now...

6 months starts with 1 month.
1 month starts with 1 week.
1 week starts with 1 day.
1 day starts with 1 decision.
1 decision is right now.

Do you want to be a dominant gamebreaker or not?

Think about that when you don't feel like running today.
Think about that when you don't feel like lifting today.
Think about that when you want to eat all the Halloween candy.
Think about all the years and seasons of soccer when you wanted to give more but couldn't because you hadn't worked hard enough in the off season.

Go, Eric, Go. Go where you've never been.

For a million years I’ve wanted to blog about Ariel and Kelly’s wedding…. And the ABC…. And now I want to blog about Jenny and Alvin’s wedding…..

I will capture what’s on the tip of the tongue of my mind.

Ariel and Kelly’s Wedding
The brothers. Eric, Ariel, and Alex. Huge and hulking. The manliest men of maledom. Brothers. There was just something about the dispensation of baseball bats and the best man speech and just seeing those 3 in the same room. It must have been the aura of years of challenges and struggles and memories I was experiencing when I watched them interact. Brothers. I always wanted brothers. Isaiah. Ethan. Owen. I might as well have been standing in the future. I hope Isaiah and Owen can be there for Ethan when he’s married. There was just something about the three brothers.
The trolley ride. Who rides around town in a motor driven trolley? Ridiculous. Awesome. That was so fun. I remember the sun warming the arms of the people sitting on the outside seats.
The spilt drink.
Chris Lum & The Tragedy. Oh dang.
Pre-Wedding Adoration. Awesome.


ABC
Training. On October 22nd, 2006 I started training for the ABC. Running and lifting. Becoming acquainted with pain. Learning more about suffering. Just like I dedicated miles and miles to my friends, their children, and their relationships, I dedicated miles and miles and miles specifically to the ABC. Why? Because it’s great to have something matter. You do pick your battles. And even if some people aren’t picking the same battles you are. It’s great to care about something. It’s great to pour yourself into something. And it’s great to know that no matter the outcome, for an extended period of time, you cared deeply. You loved intensely. I choose the Classics because they are microcosms of my own personal emotional and mental make-up. I love my friends dearly. My friends are at the Classics. I love competition. Competition is at the Classics. What’s not to love?
Bling it. “Were you serious about the bling?” Gary C asked me this a few days before the Classic. I was beside myself. I think I sent out an email every day to many people leading up to the ABC. Stressing how important bling was. It was awesome. People came through. G went all out. *If you’re ever not sure if you should go all out when it comes to dressing up silly and costumes. Just go all out. It’s always just better.

We had a bling making party/ Filipino-Chinese sweatshop ring the Wednesday before. There’s just great satisfaction that comes in blinging out every day items and cloth. I can see now why the celebrities do it. It’s fun.
The food. Always, always spread out responsibility for food. That’s what I’ve learned. Everyone wins. People feel they’ve contributed to the whole, and the whole gets to eat great food. Always need fresh cold fruit. Props to Lorie and Ryan.
Pimp cup. So there we were. September 22, 2007. It was an absolutely beautiful day. Perfect weather. Sun shining. If Alvin’s basketball rim could talk, it would tell long slow tales of incredible battles. It would speak as if it were a wise old man with wrinkles and a raspy drawl. I spent time in the morning trying to get the net to hang correctly from the rim. I used rubber bands. I stopped by Meijer’s to get the plastic attachment to the rim to hang the net from. Nothing worked. In the end, the attachments didn’t fit and the rubberbands broke. After fumbling with it for a while it occurred to me that in all my times playing on this rim, I can’t recall clearly once when the net hung correctly. This wouldn’t be Alvin’s court if the net was perfect. So it wasn’t perfect, but really it was.
When Alvin pulled his teammate out from the blinged ABC beanie, he was excited. And the rest of the field was worried. He pulled Oliver Galvez. Of everyone at the tournament, there was no-one I feared most. Unlike the rest of us, Oliver had been balling twice a week with high schoolers. Serious high schoolers too. There’s really no better preparation than participation. If you don’t participate in battle, then you won’t be prepared for it. Oliver was prepared. I was scared. Scared of Darkolicious. That’s what Alvin and Oliver named their team. The other teams played out like:

Darkolicious – Alvin & Oliver
Murder Inc. – Felipe & Paolo
Jedi Masters – Chris & Ariel
DJG – J & G
B & E Day Care – Brian & Eric

Fantasy Moment
Darkolicious
Pros: Chemistry, B-ball IQ, Homecourt advantage, OG quickness & strength
Cons: Legs, maybe.

Murder Inc.
Pros: Felipe large down low, Paolo’s outside shot, Felipe’s outside shot
Cons: Handles, legs

Jedi Masters
Pros: Strength, Power, Rebounding, Ariel’s Will, Chris’ Jumper, Defense
Cons: Handles, passing
DJG
Pros: J’s Hustle, G’s Will, G’s Lowpost
Cons: Legs, Height

B & E Day Care
Pros: IQ, Eric’s Jumper, Brian’s Baby Hook
Cons: Height, legs, maybe.

The first game was Jedi Masters vs. B & E Day Care.
I honestly don’t know how we won this game. The Jedi Masters were just absolute physical specimens. They were huge and fast. The only thing I can think of is that maybe we moved a little better without the ball and maybe my jumper was falling. I have no idea. We won 11-7 and looking at it now, I’m not sure how we did that. What I do remember is that Brian was having a very difficult time with Ariel down low. Ariel is so big and so coordinated down low. Brian used a lot of his energy on that first game and I remember us having to put together a fatigue communication system. We would hold up the amount of fingers to tell the other where we were at fatigue wise. One finger was “I’m okay, I’m good to go.” Four fingers was, “I’m about to keel over and die.” This tiny non-verbal communication method was incredibly useful later in the tournament. The management of fatigue and it’s ebb and flow based on intensity and emotion was such an interesting thing to be constantly aware of throughout the duration of a game. Basically, who ever was tired wouldn’t play down low. Especially if you’re playing Ariel. Boxing out and vying for low-post position. It’s not as difficult if you’re getting the ball where you want it. But, if you’ve finally established position and you don’t get the ball because the person passing the ball to you doesn’t have the confidence that their pass won’t be stolen, that is so much more draining. I mean, you’re fighting and fighting for position and you don’t get the ball because the guard passing you the ball is scared. That is very difficult to deal with physically and mentally. Many a power forward I’ve seen before me has hung their head in frustration because I couldn’t reward their hard work with a simple inlet pass. So I wasn’t surprised that Brian was tired. But in my defense, I had Chris on me. Chris’ physical build was designed to stop me from doing anything I want to do on the court. Like inlet pass. But we survived, Brian played less down low, when I saw 3 or 4 fingers I took over and ran around more, when I saw 1 or 2 fingers, I tried to get him the ball in places he liked. The Masters were relegated to the Losers bracket and we moved forward to play DJG. I still don’t know why they called themselves that.
Darkolicious played Murder Inc. next. The fear was confirmed about Oliver. His jumper was still sick. His quickness off the dribble was explosive. And he was finishing at the rim like we all knew he could. That stuff we knew. What was a little more disconcerting was Alvin. He was wearing his blinged glove, socks, beanie, glasses, rings, shirt. And he was starting to shine. It was just a passing thought when I was watching him play that first game. “Hmm… Alvin’s playing well today… home court advantage haha….”
But Murder Inc. put up a fight and ended up losing 11-8.
Since the bracket gods deemed B & E Day Care should not have a bye in the first round, we were up again. We were playing a fresh DJG team. When playing J & G, you know you’re gonna get a few things. You’re gonna get a lot of hustle and intensity. You’re gonna get a few layups by J that you swear shouldn’t fall. You’re gonna get G trying to abuse anyone in the post on him. G’s funny that way, basically his low post game is so polished and effective, he’s likely to have success against anybody defending him. But he’s got the build for a successful point guard so he usually has smaller guards playing him. Therefore he almost always draws a mismatch in the post. It’s actually kind of like Billups or any other point guard with a sweet low post game. They’re just anomalies. J boxes and hustles like a man possessed. These strengths along with this being their first game along with their will to win made DJG formidable. Here’s the thing though. If G goes to his low post game, J can’t be down there or it’s too easy to double team G. So if J floats the perimeter, his game really isn’t stop and pop. Also, if G kicks out to J, I’m gonna be flailing and waving my arms fronting G to dissuade J from making the difficult inlet pass. If he wants, he can try and lob it, but historically that’s a very difficult pass. The key was G’s low post game. Handle that and you’re halfway home. I remember playing for a long time and the score being like 1-0. I remember trying to take advantage of Brian’s size. There’s something that never quite works out when you’re trying to force a blatant advantage. You really don’t want to force anything. Stick with your strengths rather than force a mismatch. We ended up winning 11-8. But J and G’s willpower took a lot out of us.
Jedi Masters played Murder Inc. next in the Losers bracket. Win or go home. Flip’s smoking may have caught up with him. Paolo’s bling mask and shirt that reminded me of a Chippendale’s Zorro Luchador may have affected his skillz. He played in that mask and shirt and it’s possible Ariel and Chris willed themselves to a win based on the fact that they refused to lose to a chimney and a Chippendale’s Zorro Nacho. Jedi Masters won 11-4.
Next came the inevitable. Darkolicious vs. B & E Day Care. Somewhere in my mind, I was like, “What? Did you think the thing would be handed to you? This is what you trained for. Of course it’s gonna hurt. Go get it.”
Something was wrong though. Something was just off. The energy wasn’t right. I just remember not having answers. Oliver was too fast. We underestimated how on Alvin was. He was lights out. He was hitting all his jumpers and when he went to the basket his jewel encrusted lefty finger rolls were all falling. At one point he blew by me and I thought I pushed him too deep under the basket to make a play. He flicked up his lefty, the ball hit the bottom of the rim with so much English and spin that it crawled up, hit the backboard and dropped in. It was so frustrating for him to pick today to play out of his brains. Maybe we could handle Oliver’s strength, jumping ability, shooting ability, quickness, and overall basketball IQ. But that combined with Alvin hitting every kick out and driving and finishing, we couldn’t hang. We were tired and slow. They had chemistry and poise. We had nothing. We lost to Darkolicious (11-7). The score wasn’t even really that close. I think they won with Al hitting a jumper in front of me. All that work, all that training meant nothing in an instant. We had lost.

When I lost in this double elimination tournament that I cared about, I was very mentally crushed. All these emotions went on inside of me. It’s the feeling of helplessness, like there was nothing I could do to alter the outcome. But there were still games to play. We weren’t out of it yet. But looking at the bracket, it’s not looking good. Doom and doubt were pushing me down. If the Jedi Masters beat DJG than Brian will have to face Ariel again. And even if we do get past Ariel, than Brian’s gonna be absolutely spent when we play Darkolicious after that. And we’d have to beat them twice. This is really not looking good.

(sigh)

Okay. Well. Jedi Master are playing DJG next. We gotta push on. After losing to Darkolicious I asked Brian, “What did we learn?” I learned a few things playing Oliver and Alvin. The most important was that I wasn’t tired enough. I wasn’t hurting enough at the end. Training taught me where I should be when I really exert effort. I wasn’t there. I was at this other place. This place of trying but not pouring my whole self into it. It’s a deceptive place because you’re sweating and moving and dancing the dance, but you’re not really all there. You’re only there enough to say you’re there. And the results reflected that for me. I learned that if I get the chance to play Darkolicious again. I’m going to be all there. That means that at the end, I’m going to be in a lot of pain and anguish. It’s gonna hurt a lot. But after the hurt goes away, no matter what happens, at least I’ll be proud that I pushed myself. In basketball terms, that means very high defensive intensity, rebounding, and constant movement on offense. Win or lose, I’m not leaving this court fresh and wishing I had exerted more effort. That’s the main lesson that I learned. That segued in to the next lesson I learned. If Darkolicious beats us again. It’s gonna be because Oliver scored all their points. Cuz I’m not letting Al touch the ball much less blow by me or get an open shot. Those were the lessons. Now we just need to get back to playing with them.

When Ariel and Chris muscle and rebound their way past J and G, we can only hope that Ariel’s so tired that when we play them he won’t have anything left. But….
Halfway through the game and G and J were holding their own. Brian and I were too busy talking strategy and resting to really notice what was transpiring. In the end, I can only believe that Gary’s low post game was dominant and when he kicked out, J hit some open shots. It’s even possible that he didn’t kick out and J crashed boards. DJG shocked me by eliminating the Jedi Masters from the ABC 11-7. Two things gave me a glimmer of hope that we still might have a chance. One was that Brian would not have to contend with Ariel anymore. Two was that when the game finished both teams looked absolutely spent. G and J are the most prolific sweaters you have ever seen. No matter how much their faces might be smiling and their bodies might look fresh, the size of the puddle of sweat they stand in afterwards tells a story of tiredness and fatigue. I mean the body can only sweat so much before shutting down. These two things gave me hope. Me and hope are friends. Me and hope get along. I know hope. It was good to see my friend again.

DJG had to play B&E Day Care immediately after their slugfest with Jedi Masters. It was like some twisted Diggstown re-enactment. Except basically Honey Roy Palmer just beat Tyson and had to fight the Klitschko brothers next. DJG would have to beat us and then beat Darkolicious twice to finish this tournament. We had just rested and were on a mission to get back to play Darkolicious. I felt that physically and mentally we had the upper hand.

What I haven’t really touched on so far is Brian. The B in B&E Day Care. A long time ago Brian told me, “You’re in a whole new fishbowl now.” That was after I had explained to him that in high school I was not one of the better basketball players. That is, in my fishbowl before college I perceived myself to be a certain type. But now that I’m in a new fishbowl, I could be any type. Anything could happen. I really took the “whole new fishbowl” statement to heart and all through college I felt I could reinvent myself depending on how hard I worked and where life led me. Brian won a lifetime achievement award in college. So did his wife, Tricia. When one person gets awarded a lifetime achievement award at the age of 22, that’s impressive. When two people like this get married, that’s called a kick ass couple. All of this comes into play when you’re talking about Brian and his basketball aura. Brian has a very high basketball IQ. More than that, he knows how to win. This along with above average Filipino height, above average shoulder width, an outside shot as well as a post up game, and you’re talking about a great partner to have in a 2 on 2 Filipino basketball tournament. But that doesn’t really capture Brian as a basketball player. The best statement that does was, “I’m not going home and telling Tricia that I lost this basketball tournament.”

In my head, I was like, “Brian, I don’t want you to go home and tell her that either.”

When the game with DJG started, I was basically a man possessed. They were tired and I knew it. We beat them the first game. No letting up now. Brian and I had a resolve that we needed to get back to play Darkolicious again. I turned in my best defensive effort against Gary and his wily low post game. No letting him get the ball in places he liked. No allowing him to dribble uncontested. Constantly poking the ball away from different angles. No getting comfortable. We didn’t have to force Brian’s low post game this time. It just came. The familiar post up, ball fake right, baby-hook. If you were taller than him and could jump much higher, maybe you could have a chance at stopping it. Really that mini-game is won once he has position. Because you’re not stopping the baby-hook. Defense was on all cylinders and offense was clicking. Mix in fatigue and DJG was looking more like JG because… haha.

B&E Day Care rolled to an 11-4 win. It was tiring, but we were still fresh. Ones and twos fatigue levels from me and Brian all game. We could make a run in the finals.

It was B&E Day Care and Darkolicious in the Finals. By beating us earlier the groom made it again to his own finals. Historically, the groom always makes it to the finals and loses. As far as I was concerned it was gonna happen again. I’m sure that Alvin had different ideas. I sensed that I was in the midst of something very special to me. Win or lose, I wanted to cherish the feel, the day, the moment. To be honest, I put a lot of work into the whole day to make sure the bling was there, and the kids had stuff to play with, and I tried so hard to make sure that it would be fun. I even made Kelly supply me with encouraging words that this would be a fun day that Alvin would remember. I also trained for a very long time to ward off the effects of fatigue enough to get to this moment. So to have the honor of playing the groom in potentially the last game was not something I was shy about accepting. I was wholeheartedly appreciative of this moment and I truly feel like I earned it. There are so many times in my life where I don’t feel grateful or appreciative. There are so many times where no matter how much I’ve invested I feel like I still don’t deserve the abundance of blessings. So to have worked hard and to have felt an actual sense of pride in my work was just….

Deep breath in…. slow exhale…. Perfect.

Brain tingling euphoric perfect. Perfect pictures. Perfect sunshine, perfect children playing, perfect Michigan game starting soon, perfect people watching, perfect bling, perfect food.
Perfect fiancée. Perfect wife.

Perfect.

I sensed I was in the midst of a special moment and regardless of the outcome I was hoping Al was feeling it too. I sensed he was.

When I came back to earth I focused more on what I wasn’t sensing from Alvin or Oliver. I wasn’t sensing fear or nervousness. Why would they be nervous? They were in the same situation we were in one game before. ‘The other team was coming off a game. They would be tired and we would be rested. It was a team we’ve beaten before, so we know we could do it again.’ I can’t imagine they were doubting whether or not they could finish this thing. They smelled blood in the water the same way I smelled blood when I saw how hard J and G were sweating after their game with Ariel and Chris. The last thing I remember thinking before we started the game was that if we were gonna have any chance at this, it would have to be a track meet, not a basketball game. In the end, I needed Oliver’s smoking to catch up with him and my legs to outlast Al’s. Not only would the defense just be stifling, I would make Alvin work very very hard just to get the inbounds pass. The dimensions of the court were fairly small. I found that if I pivoted correctly, I could cover a large area in front and behind me with minimal amount of energy. But it would still require Al to run quite a bit especially from side to side to get a chance at a good inbounds pass. This worked early on in that I think it sent a message. The message was, “I’m going to be incredibly annoying. I’m going to do things that all guards hate. If you’re going to win, you’re going to win despite being extremely annoyed with me.”
But this type of defense has it’s risks. Inherently, if you’re overplaying the pass, you are far more susceptible to getting beat back door. This was happening. Al would fake ball, go back door, and Oliver would pinpoint a pass for an easy lay-up. I had to concede these points in that I had to know that even though this happened occasionally, Al was still using a lot of energy to set up and complete this maneuver. The finals was to fifteen win by two, I had to just hope that Al’s and Oliver’s legs would play a role at some point. Offensively, Brian on Alvin in the post was a blatant mismatch. Baby-hook did some damage.
With all these things going on in the games within the game, there was still one glaring truth. Al was still lights out. He was still finishing at the rim and he was still hitting his jumpers with me on him. The only difference was that he was scoring at a slower rate. Whenever he touched the ball he basically scored. I had to try and not let him touch the ball. Little by little, I think our annoying defense started to work. An occasional missed shot here, an ill advised shot there, and we had something going. My jumper was falling. When my jumper falls, people work harder to get in my face, and dribble drives open up. I take defensive attention and that opens up Brian’s game. Brian wanted it so bad. He was serious and focused. He hits his outside shot and works his post game and we are very difficult to beat. He did his job and I did mine and the game started to open up. At one point I think we were up by four or five in the game to fifteen. Talking in passing afterwards, Al mentioned that they thought they should save their strength for the last game. We slowly pulled away and won 15-8.

Almost there. One more game. Come on. You can do this. Finish strong. All the way to the end. Tough D.

Finish. Finish. Finish.

Deep breath… slow exhale… Perfect. The final game. I’m not gonna play NBA. I might never play organized ball again. For me, for my life, for right now, this is my game 7.

We all wanted it so bad. It showed in our faces and our defense. It’s good that this was an outdoor game or I would been called reaching on Al or called for sticking a forearm in his back. I was harassing to the point that Al had to clarify that it was unfair to not give space to inbound to Oliver. He was right, that’s stupid grade school stuff, smothering the inbounder. But I forgot outdoor unspoken rule etiquette. I must have been really intense, I usually never forget that kind of stuff. But I did, and the tone was set all 4 of us were gonna do whatever it takes. I came to a crossroads early in that last game. Fighting for a rebound, I came down awkward on someone’s foot and my ankle turned. For a split second, I thought, “This is it. This is my out. My excuse. Everyone would know I turned my ankle and that’s why we lost, but otherwise we might have won. No one would think any less of me.”
I got so angry with myself for thinking that. I can’t believe thoughts like that even exist in me. But they do. Out of men’s hearts and minds come the worst things and the worst thoughts come from me. After a short respite that I think everyone was taking advantage of, my ankle sprain was only mild and I could still play. No matter what happens that won’t be my excuse. It was grind it out basketball. The score was very close. 1-1. 3-4. 6-5. At this point I started to notice the crowd. People say that when they’re in the middle of intense games, they shut out everything. They can’t hear the cheers or the boos. I’m hardly ever in intense game situations, but when I am, I love to listen to the crowd. Probably because I love being in the crowd and cheering. I’m an exceptional cheerer. If I know you, and you’re in the midst of battle, I can be incredibly encouraging. I can cheer and cheer and shout encouragement forever and ever. I just love it. So I listened to the crowd and I heard, “Go babe!” from Annalisa. Followed by a, “Go babe!” from Jenny. Haha. That was funny. Especially followed by a “Go babe!” from Ryan. Ryan’s the same way, he’s so good at cheering and encouraging. If he’s on your team, he’s SO on your team. I love that. I felt energized and confident. There are moments on the court when I feel especially unstoppable. Unconsciously it just happens. I’ll grab a defensive rebound and because of the situation I know my free throw line jumper is coming. I’m a step ahead because of the transition, but before I shoot this, I want to look straight in your eyes before I do. I wanna see the whites. So I hesitate that extra half second. I want to know that you know that there’s nothing you can do about what’s about to happen. Then it does. Whites. Elevate. Bottom of the net.

‘Don’t do it Eric. It never helps. If anything it just pisses off the other team if they see you do it. Don’t do it. It’s not worth it. Just keep playing. Stay focused. Don’t!’

But I did it. I smirked. I smirked outwardly and inwardly. Every once in a while it just gets the best of me. It’s so damaging to my game. Some people can handle it. Some people can’t compete without it. “It” is everything I don’t want to stand for. “It” is Lack of Humility. In that moment, that smirk meant I lost humility, and I can’t tell you how many games I’ve lost based on that fact alone.

I can handle it if you beat me because you’re better. I can’t handle it if I lose because I lost control of myself.

Internally the game shifted and was slipping away from me. Externally, that jumper made it 6-5 I think.

And on it went. Alvin was still burying shots. Oliver was still getting a step and elevating. I was trying to take advantage of my legs. Brian was trying to create mismatches and post.

I remember another milestone at 9-7. We had just gone up 2 on a shot Brian hit I think. At that point, neither team had had a two point lead. I thought, this is it. Just like last game, we’re gonna pull away. I let up mentally and blinked. In that blink, Al hit a jumper, we miss a shot, lose the rebound, and Oliver ties it. 9-9 in a blink.

Now it’s first to six win by 2. It was a dog fight. In my mind, Al had taken over this game. He was unstoppable. Every floating jumper, every long range shot, every drive to the basket was falling. We were scratching and clawing. I love to go up for a jumper, sneak and grab my own rebound for a bunny. Al was taking this away from me by boxing me out wherever I was. I hate that. This was the end of the third game in a row and Brian’s showing 3’s and 4’s fatigue levels.

12-12. Gotta dig deep. Everyone’s bearing down. The crowd is much more interested. I think Al took off his bling beanie, glasses, ring, and glove by now. Not sure. But we’re all in pain and working hard.

By now, offensively and defensively, the four of us are almost in a tired choreographed dance. Brian holds the ball up top, Al let’s me get the ball on left side, I dribble to the right and use Brian almost as a double pick on Al and Oliver. If I get an opening I elevate, if Oliver overplays I drive. If we score or not, Alvin then inbounds to Oliver, Oliver drives and draws both of us. Alvin hits a jumper from somewhere. I say somewhere cuz it could’ve been anywhere. The corners, the baseline, the street, the neighbors yard. It didn’t matter. I knew that I was gonna be there a half second late and he knew he was gonna drill a clutch jumper.

14-14. The pain was so apparent now. Everyone was gased. Everyone hurting. Same dance, inbounds pass from Brian on left side, pick Al, jumper. 15-14 us. Please just play good D and we’ll finish this next possession. Al hits a jumper. 15-15. Inbound from Brian on left, pick Al, awkward elevation because of something Oliver does, clang, and they get the rebound. Crap. Their part of the dance holds true and Al hits again.
16-15 then. It’s slipping away. We’ve got to tie this up. Our offensive dance holds up.
Left side, pick, drive. 16-16.

Come on. Pick it up. One stop. One stop.

Awkward play for them, long shot, long rebound. Brian up top. Inbounds from Brian on left, pick Al, jumper. 17-16 us.

Here we go. One stop. One stop. Finish this.

We did stop them on that possession. I don’t remember how. But I do know that defensive intensity was high.

Brian up top. Only Alvin and I really know what happened next. Words here won’t capture that moment.

I rounded on the left side and Alvin’s defense was strong, I had to keep him further away with the left side of my body and call for the ball with my right hand just as I had done the previous six possessions. But this time when the ball hit my right hand, instead of dribbling strong at Brian to pick off Al, I did a small fake towards Brian, pivoted on my left foot, drop stepped with my right towards the sideline.

One dribble and I didn’t feel Al next to me.

Two dribbles, elevate, and I think Oliver is going to foul me hard.

The foul never came.
Little kiss off glass.

18-16.

All the pain left my pores. The blur of adrenaline. All the sweat. All the training. All the eating right. All the fighting. Finished. One of the funnest basketball experiences of my life was finished.

Man I love basketball.

I’m sure Brian and I were glowing and even though Alvin and Oliver must have been bummed at the outcome, I know they appreciated the fun of competing in that way.

In the end, I desperately wanted Alvin to have a fun day that was his and that he could remember forever and be proud of. I honestly think he will remember that day and remember the game, the people, the bling, the children, the food. I was so happy knowing he was happy.

But I was tired. When my muscles cooled, they couldn’t warm up again.
I was just sore. I honestly gave it all I had to give.

That was okay.

“B&E Day Care. $40 a day. Taking Care of YOU!”

Too funny.

The Cup Is Ours.
In the end I think we had 18 people for Football. It really was an awesome sight to see so many people line up to play football at the ABC.

We recognized Connie and Chrissy for being the first girls to participate in a Classic. Wouldn’t it be funny if a girl won a Pimp Cup? Yes it would be.

There were four teams.
The only one you really want to know about is: The Cup Is Ours.
I don’t know the order, but I think this uber team was created in the order of Paolo, Babbs, Ariel, Oliver, and…. Chrissy. Talking to Chrissy afterwards, she said she really wanted to be on that team.

So basically we got:
Chrissy – The best pass rusher on the field other than Chris or J. She’s also got great receiving hands and overall athleticism.
Oliver – The fastest runner on the field. I think he was some kind of running hero in high school.
Ariel – The biggest, strongest body on the field. Very high football intensity, focus, and IQ.
Babbs – Um yeah. Babbs walked on to the Michigan football team. He practiced backpedaling on his driveway for a whole summer to be a shutdown corner. He’s pretty much dominant at football.
Paolo – Very high football IQ. On this team he was the perfect role player. Reception here, swat away there. Think Ron Harper. Whatever it takes to win.

I remember a few things.
The first 2 touchdowns were from Ariel to Oliver. Might as well have been Peyton to Harrison. It was awesome to see.
Oliver putting the shake and bake on Gary and Brian. So great to watch. I think Gary did the splits trying to stop him.
Joel playing out of his brains. I think it was his first time playing football. Oh man that was awesome.
Flip had good fantasy yards.
J’s unstoppable on his curls.
I think Chrissy sacked Flip like 8 times. But the end box score only showed like 3.
Babbs broke the porch and everyone thought it was his bone. That was craziness.
Flood lights.

The Cup Is Ours was completely dominant, no one really stood a chance. Joel stood up to them, but in the end they were just overwhelmingly good. Chrissy was forcing quarterbacks into bad decisions, Ariel and Oliver were offensive juggernauts, Babbs and Paolo filled all the holes. That along with a good substitution scheme to keep everyone fresh and The Cup Is Ours ruled.

At the end of the day, Al passed out the remaining Pimp Cups to Annalisa, Eric Galvez, and Jenny.

I never passed up an opportunity to drink out of my cup that day. Especially in front of Alvin. I wouldn’t be a friend if I didn’t. It was great.

I keep my cup by my desk at work. I truly cherish the memories more, but sometimes it’s nice to see the cup. Babbs asked me what it tasted like to drink out of my cup…. I said, “Glory.” Haha.

Alvin and Jenny's Wedding
Alvin and Jenny’s wedding was the most beautiful most expensive wedding I’ve ever seen. St. John’s is such an awesome venue.
Isaiah was a rock as a coin bearer. Lucia is just a very very special little girl. The Matthews, Guevaras, and Gary’s parents stayed at our house that weekend. That means there were 8 adults and six children in our home. It was just so wonderful. We took great pictures in the park and generally had a wonderful time.

I think I might have cried when Alvin and Jenny got married. Man it was a long road for them. I honestly believe that Christ is hard at work in their marriage and the fruits of that work are going to be wonderful.

Sang with G and Flip. We sang Love. I think that always was Alvin’s favorite. I love singing with those guys. It’s a very special feeling. The food was lobster and prime rib with this potato wedgey thingy that was fantastic. I never finish food at weddings, but I licked that plate clean.


There were these huge rose things hanging from the ceiling. Embedded in the rose things were candles. If you read this whole blog, put boogie boo in my comments.
I imagined the candles setting the roses on fire and the fire crawling up to the ceiling and setting the building on fire.

Galvez’s and Tricia’s speeches were wonderful. Galvez said he knew Alvin since he was Isaiah’s age. I cried again.

I smoked my first cigar that night at the club after the reception. The next Wednesday I was sick.

I couldn’t stay at home or the boys would find me so I went to the library. There I learned about the whole Sterling Heights Library system. More importantly, I learned about their digitial system and perused their audio book section.

People, it’s all about the audio book.

And have you forgotten the exhortation which addresses you as sons? -- "My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor lose courage when you are punished by him.

For the Lord disciplines him whom he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives."

It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline?

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant; later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees,

and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed.

Hebrews 12:5-7, 11-13

I've been undisciplined lately with respect to my eating and exercising. I keep cutting corners and making excuses.

With God's help I'm not going to anymore.

Ariel and Kelly are getting married next week.

Therefore, The Ariel Ponce Fishing Classic was held yesterday in Ludington, MI.

Ryan slept over the night before and we drove together to Ariel's parent's house.

We took 3 cars to Ludington, MI.

I rode with Ryan and J.

Ariel, his brother Eric, his co-worker Bob, his cousin's husband Steve, and his friend who introduced him to Kelly, Mike rode in the Acadia.

Ariel's dad and his two friends, Tito Dan and Tito Don rode in the CRV.

The Acadia watched 300 on the way up.
We definitely may have listened to Wilson Philips, Hold On.

We got to Ludington around 3:30pm.

Me, Ariel, Ryan, J, Bob, and Mike boarded The Hunter.

The other 5 boarded The Freestyle.

Pain, triumph, heartache, and eventually glory ensued.

The reading in today's Mass contained the beautiful phrase, the first shall be last and the last shall be first.

The weather leading up to the day was terrible. Raining, thunderstorms, overcast, gloomy.
When we boarded the boat, the sky had already opened, the weather was absolutely perfect. Slight breeze. Beautiful sunshine. Fearful fish.

We boarded around 3:30pm. We returned around 9:30pm. In between, 6 hours of life. Wonderful, bittersweet, glorious life.

And 2 hard lemonades for me.

We were "trolling" from 3:30pm to 6:30pm with no less than 12 lines in the water.
God tested our resolve and patience, we may or may not have failed.

But, He rewarded us with our first bite around 6:40pm.
No wonder the disciples were saints, their mettle and patience was crafted in the fire of fishing.

The bite was only shortly after saint Bob blessed the water with some tasty chum of his own made up no doubt of Dramamine, beer, chips, Mongolian, and jerky.

Ariel battled and worked and rested and battled some more.
But, a "double" occurred. In the midst of Ariel's struggle, another line hit.

Ryan and J sprung into action, they both wanted the honors.
Quickly and spontaneously they settled the matter.

The first round of rock, scissors, paper went blindingly fast and resulted in a tie.

Thinking J would go rock in the second round, Ryan chose paper, and J's jedi mind trick worked when he revealed scissors.

So J stepped up and started reeling the second hit.
Words can't describe the battles, only the videos can.

Ariel reeled his in. A beautiful salmon. Huge by my previous standards.
Enormous even until J reeled his in.

I think someone pointed at J's and said that that was the daddy fish and Ariel's was his kid.

I mean this salmon was bagungous.

Shortly after, another line hit and Ryan and myself were all over it.

But precedent was set and the battle before the battle begun.

Don't think when you go up against Ryan. Just move.

With no thought I went scissors and luckily he went paper.

With love in his heart, Ryan gracefully stepped aside to let me work.

You can watch the video on youtube.

What the video won't show is that the mounts for the reel were digging into my wrist.
I couldn't hold the pole correctly.

Finally, I went to this pole between my legs mount the fish while you reel maneuver. I'm sure you'll see the derivations of this new technique on the next Bassmaster tourney.

After what I'm sure was many hours I reeled in an amazingly huge.... trout.

Everyone caught salmon but me. While the trout was large, it was not in the running for the coveted dollar ring that Annalisa had forged in Mordor the night before. J was still atop the standings with his pterasalmadon that had obviously given life to all salmon.

We were excited, but now I'm sure Ariel was anxious that we'd be out all day and the other 3 guys would not reel in any fish.....

So when the next fish hit and Ryan and Bob engaged in pre-battle, we were all excited again.

Ryan emerged victorious this round and he stepped into the proverbial fishing ring.
However, another double occurred and instead of going for the rod, Mike went for the video camera, giving the hit to Bob without question.

So Ryan and Bob were in it. Reeling fighting running leaning. Battling.

Ryan's fish came to the surface and you could see it splashing 20 feet from the boat.
Then disaster struck.

Ryan just started reeling easily. His mouth agape. The sun lowered slightly.

"It's gone."

Ryan's battle was no more. So close and yet so far. The pain was palpable throughout the group. One of our own had fallen.

But we had to stay positive for Bob. He was still in it.
But those crafty fish had shared the secret and now Bob was reeling easy.

We were broken men.

Yes, three had experienced the pinnacle, 2 had fought and lived to tell a tale, but 1 had not even tasted the sweet juice of poisson war.

Our official time was from 3pm to 8pm. When 8pm came around with no more hits, we were all very sullen and stoic. The sun was a few inches from the horizon. I couldn't stop thinking about Mike and how he didn't even get a chance to reel. After such a long day and paying to come out and fish and not even to get to touch the pole, Mike was frustrated and upset and bitter.

Not.

He was kind and gracious and caring. He kept commenting on the beauty of the shore and the horizon. We were anxious and he was just happy to experience the day. We took a couple group pictures because we only had a little sun left.

As the sun disappeared over the horizon, the captain had already begun reeling in the lines. I had been praying fervently that we get one last bite. But when the sun was almost gone, Ryan and I reminisced about that one awesome scene in Pirates At World's End..... So we imagined the green light at sunset and the pssssshhhhhhhh sound when the magic happens.

Shortly after we stopped play psssssshhhhhhiiiiiinnnnnnngggggg.... magic happened.

We hit!

We rejoiced as Mike took the line. Hooting and hollering we encouraged him on.

He was reeling and we were screaming and.... we hit again!!!

Ryan had another shot at redemption! He rounded on the pole with resolve.

Oh man... if only we could hit one more and maybe Bob would........ and we did!

In the twinkle of an eye were in the midst of a triple!

Jumping and moving and screaming and hooting J, Ariel, and I were hoping for more hits and screaming for the people in it.

Ryan would not be denied this time, he learned from his last experience and masterfully brought pterasalmadon's big brother to the boat. We were rejoicing like we just won Salmonpalooza. With one flick of the pole Ryan was in serious contention for the ring.

Until Bob.

Bob also would not be denied.

The fish tried some tricky maneuvers and Mike and Bob had to switch places a few times because of where the fish were taking them.... Left then right.... over and under each other's lines they moved expertly. It was a deadly tango.

But Bob was cash. He brought in pterasalmadon's big brother's dad. Elation ensued and it was clear that Bob's finger was ready for the dollar ring.

Mike was just focused. While the other guys were reeling, Mike's fish was running. I was wondering why he wasn't reeling and it was clear that he couldn't. The fish was running too hard. You just had to let it run.

So it took a while for Mike to reel his in. His hit before Ryan and Bob, and theirs were already in the cooler.

This was God's final test of Mike's fortitude. Mike's grace and patience was deeper than Lake Michigan. He never complained once about not getting a chance to reel. His heart was filled with love and I truly believe he was rewarded for it.

When God said, "Let there be light." What he really did was move this salmon a little to the left because his tail was blocking the sun.

When the Holy Spirit was hovering over the water in Genesis they never explained why.
It's because this salmon would have eaten Him.

At around 9pm the Gospel of Ariel's Classic had unfolded.

Ariel caught the first fish, it was the smallest. He was last.
Mike caught the last fish, it was the largest. He was first.

Just like today's reading in church said.

But if Ariel came in last, his smile didn't say so.

There's some things in this life that no one can take away.

Glory Pics
Glory Vids

I lost something that I should not have lost.
When someone puts something in your care, you should care for it and make sure nothing happens to it.
I lost something that wasn't mine to lose and the pain is so deep and so real.
I'm so ashamed of who I am right now.
I'm the person who is too immature and irresponsible to be trusted with anything important.
I feel as if I have no insides.
Like my stomach isn't there.
It's so difficult to discover who you really are.
That the absent mindedness and forgetfulness aren't something to joke about anymore. That it's real and it's wrong and unacceptable.
It's who I am right now and I never want to feel this way again.
It hurts too much.

I’ve basically been listening to the Dave’s Son album exclusively for about 5 days.
My insides are so in tune with this album for many reasons.

The passion driving the album comes from the main creator/writer/composer/singer of all the songs. His name is Gene Kim. My connection to Gene is through Hong and Jon and Babbs from FunKtion at college. I was introduced to Gene with little fanfare in a well lit bar in San Diego.

Babbs or Hong whispered something like, “Gene is great. You’ll love him.”

I wonder if people say this about me before people introduce their friends to me.

“Gene this is Eric. Eric this is Gene.”

My first take on Gene was that he was warm, extremely personable with a contagious smile and laugh.

I would have said then that we were fairly equal kindred spirits.

When kindred spirits meet, I find that there aren’t many sparks that fly, there’s merely an acknowledgement of each other’s existence and an understanding.

That connection is rare, but I think it happens to me more often than others.
I relish drawing parallels between the parts of people and my own characteristics. It makes me feel good when I think we can relate.

I thought I could relate with Gene, and on many levels I’m sure we do.

But when it comes to this album, and his focus, and intensity, and passion for creating and the creation process, I can’t begin to understand him. I can’t relate. He’s on this totally other level.

Yes we are kindred spirits, but right now my spirit is in awe of his.

The cello ties it’s strings around the inside of my chest and lifts me. It takes me where ever it wants to go. I rise and fall with the melodic long bow strokes.

The ride cymbal resonates and tells you this is going to be a very organic experience.

The drums, keys, and vocals are just so incredibly well produced and balanced that it’s no problem getting lost in the song.
Often, with amateur recordings I can’t get past the sound mix or the balance or just the quality of the recording. That’s one reason why I think with this album Gene has declared to me that he is a professional.

He’s broken through the barrier of the recording process and the album stands on it’s own on the other side. You can just listen. No walls. Just listen.

So I listen and my mouth smiles when each cryptic lyric is replayed in my mind moments after I listen to it. It’s like you know your keys are in your bag, you search for them but you can’t find them, but it’s okay to move forward because you know you’ve got them. You know there’s truth in the lyrics, it’s there even if you don’t understand it, but your heart can move forward knowing truth’s near. Maybe one day you’ll even find it.

“So you wanna be an Airport Ranger”

Gene, what the heck are you talking about? You know what, I don’t care, it’s awesome.

I love the fact that he’s farther along than the normal person, but not intense mainstream.

Like the Chili Peppers before they were huge.
Like John Legend before people knew him.

That’s where Gene is right now.
Just like the honeymoon period of a relationship.
Or the 1st quarter of a potentially historic game.
Or good tickets to a Janet concert.

You wanna be there when magic happens.
That’s where you are when you listen to this album.
You’re where the magic is happening.

www.davesson.com

Fartlek, which means "speed play" in Swedish, is a form of conditioning which puts stress mainly on the aerobic energy system due to the continuous nature of this exercise. The difference between this type of training and continuous training is that the intensity or speed of the exercise varies, meaning that aerobic and anaerobic systems can be put under stress. Most Fartlek sessions last a minimum of 45 minutes and can vary from aerobic walking to anaerobic sprinting. Fartlek training is generally associated with running, but can include almost any kind of exercise including cycling, rowing or swimming.

Fart Lick is more like it.

I run the first mile at 144 to 167bpm.

Then for the next 2 miles I sprint until I get above 167 bpm. Then walk until I'm below 144 bpm. Sprint then walk. Sprint then walk.

Just as fun as licking a fart.

But I'm at 157 lbs now and I really want to get to the 153 the chart says I should be at to be in my healthy BMI. So bring on the fart licking.

Speaking of... Isaiah is VERY close to being totally potty trained. It's been about a week or so and the only accidents he's had is once every 3 or 4 days he'll wake up from sleep with a wet diaper. He's really doing great and it does get annoying when he feels like he has to pee every 20 minutes, but it does make it easier to watch the 2 boys alone. In fact, Annalisa was gone most of Saturday and Sunday because of a card selling event in Royal Oak and Kelly's shower and I had to watch the boys and it was easier on me than it has been in the past. Usually I'd be insane when watching the boys alone for so long. But it wasn't as difficult and I think it's partially due to the potty training.

Ethan is very sweet right now and just loves to be where you are. He LOVES to chase Isaiah and Isaiah loves to run and hide and peek out to see if Ethan is still chasing him. Man, there's just something about those moments in life that fulfill and satiate and they just make all the difficult times a little more bearable. It's like the movie of your life that you're watching through your eyes glosses over and gets slower and shinier and you realize it's the part of the movie that you love. You could watch it a million times and never get sick of it.

Like in The Rock when General Hummel steals the rockets with VX Poison Gas.

Or in Armageddon when Harry Stamper pushes Ben Affleck into the chamber and says, "You're to take care of my little girl. That's your job now." and Ben Affleck says, "Harry! I love you Harry!"

or in the Parent Trap when the maid finds out that Haley is Annie and when Haley hugs her mom for the first time.

or in Gladiator when Maximus throws the sword and screams, "Are you not entertained?"

or in Rad when the kid does the backflip over the dirt pile in the final race and the announcer says, "Hulk Hogan eat your heart out."

or that whole Friends episode with Brad Pitt

haha

Soo.... shutdown....

Every first week of July, GM shuts down...

It's so fun in the week leading up to the shutdown because everyone is smiley and happy and asking each other, "What are you doing over shutdown?"

"I'm going to North Carolina..."
"I'm going to up north..."
"I'm going to do some work around the house..."

My response was... "I'm potty training."

That is, I'm using a week of vacation to teach an emotionally unstable, irrational, illogical person to defacate and urinate in the designated place.

(sigh)

As shutdown approached I became more and more curious about this decision.

I had started to rebuild the upstairs closet and finished it in the Saturday of shutdown.
I think I installed the mirrored doors on the downstairs closet that day too with Ryan's help. (~$100)
The next day I made and installed a custom baby gate out of 3/4" blonde plywood. ($35 for a 4' x 8' sheet)

I had no energy to begin potty training 'til Monday.
Ahhh, monday went well.
He woke up at 9am. I took him to the bathroom and he went pee.
Every half hour I brought Isaiah to the bathroom and he would either go or declare, "There's no pee pee coming!"
Alright. Good system. Good communication.
I would give him a piece of candy every time he peed in the toilet.
That Monday night, I told Annalisa that all went well. She said that she bought new underwear for Isaiah. Spiderman, Cars, etc.
We decided that he was ready for underwear. Put it on him that night.

Tuesday, 9am Isaiah wakes up dry and I take him to go pee.
Ain't no thang. We're there. It's all good.
Distribute the candy.
Breakfast time.

9:30... "There's no pee pee coming."

10am... "There's no pee pee coming."

10:10am.So I'm messing around on the couch reading Shadow of the Hegemon, feeding the kids and chilling.
Isaiah walks past and stops by the arm of the couch.
He pauses for too long and he catches my eye.

"Isaiah?"
"I HAVE TO POTTY!"

He's standing in a puddle.

?!?!!?!?!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?

AAIAIAIAAAAAIIAIAI!!!WHOWWHWOHWAAAOWWHOAAA!!!

"ISAIAH!! You have to tell daddy that you have to pee BEFORE you pee!!!"

okay.

no problem.

Accidents happen.

Now.

"Where do you pee?"
"The potty seat."

"Where do you poop?"
"In the potty seat."

Okay. New underwear.
We're alright. We can do this.... let's get back on the horse.

10:30am... "There's no pee pee coming."

10:42am... Isaiah's watching Lazytown eating rice and some meat...

"Isaiah, you want juice?"
"I pooped."

WAAAAAAAAHEHEHAHAAHAAAAHAAOOOOAOAOAAAOOO!!!!?!?!?!!!!

ISAIAH!!!!!!!
You need not know what transpired over the next few minutes.
Suffice to say that I am a man that can handle anything.

But my frustration at that point did get the best of me.
I figured, if he does something that I want him to do and gets rewarded for it, he should be punished for doing something I don't want him to do.

So after everything was sanitary again, I proceeded to put Isaiah in time out.
He was crying like he always cries in time out and I felt bad because I knew he didn't really understand and he didn't do anything on purpose.

Alright... these things are bound to happen.

All part of the course of life. It's true that my life sucks right now. But hey, we'll get through this.

ISAIAH!

"WHERE DO YOU PEE?!"
"in the potty seat."

"WHERE TO YOU POOP?!"
"in the potty seat."

OKAY!
"IF YOU EVER HAVE TO PEE OR POOP, YOU TELL DADDY BEFORE, BEFORE, BEFORE YOU DO! THEN DADDY TAKES YOU TO THE BATHROOM TO GO IN THE POTTY SEAT, OKAY!"

"okay."

OKAY! Okay! okayokayokayokayokay.
New underwear. Let's try Lightning McQueen.
We can do this.

11am... "There's no pee pee coming out."

11:07am... I'm sitting at the piano. Currently our laptop is sitting on top of the piano. So to get online and stuff, you sit on the piano bench and work on the laptop on top. Isaiah climbs onto the piano bench.

"Can I get on your back?"
"Yeah buddy, one sec."
"okay."

He proceeds to put his arms around my neck.
The next thing I feel is a warm spot in the middle of my back.
And a trickle.

Capital letters, exclamation points, and question marks don't give adequate justice to my emotions at that point in time.

My frustration and fury were blinding.

(sigh)

I put him in timeout again after that one. He cried and I felt bad again because it's not something he knew how to really control. So I'm thinking I was wrong to put him in time out. But he did learn the severity of my intentions and somehow I think I got through to him. So I think I was wrong, but my point got across. So I was not very very wrong... just wrong maybe.

One more accident before noon and I was a broken man.

No dignity. No pride. Nothing left to give.

Annalisa was quick to pick up on my frustration when she got home and picked up my slack. I don't know how single parents do it.

We spent the next day, 4th of July, in Lansing with Gary and Mads and Luci and Elijah.
For about a day and a half we didn't leave their house. Just chit chatting and dreaming and enjoying each other's company.

There's really nothing like spending time with friends who know where you're coming from.

Went to the Casino Thursday night with Ryan, J, Alvin, and Ariel. Paolo met up.

Me, Alvin, Ariel, and J threw in a hundred bucks each... Made a deal to split losses and profits after 2 hours.

Al and Ariel busted. I was up 200, J was up 72.
We each got 15 bucks.... Rest to Ryan for driving... sweeeeet.

On Al's last hand of his own money, he split and doubled down 3 times. Ended up being up huge.
That's why you go to the Casino.
Awesome.

Saw Transformers the next day.
If you're gonna suspend disbelief, then suspend disbelief and have a good time. Don't let conservation of mass stop you.
But believe this. GM is freakin' pimp.

I worked a long time on that Camaro.
To have my childhood world and my adult work collide on screen in one of the most freaking awesomest movies of the year was immensely satisfying. Nerdvana fo' sho.

Bumblebeeee tuna.

Annalisa was so cool about me going to the Casino and watching Transformers with the guys.

Got free tickets from Paolo to go to the Tigers game on Sunday. Last game before the All Star Break against the Red Sox.

My mom was kind enough to babysit. 96 degree weather. We won 6-5. Great homeruns. Great Granderson catch. Went to the new Detroit Riverwalk. What's nice about just holding your wife's hand in a new place is it feels more like a date again and not this huge lifelong thing. The lifelong thing is great too sometimes, but sometimes it's nice to date.

Isaiah is doing very well. He is so awesome.
1 piece of big red candy for trying.
2 pieces of big red candy for peeing in the potty seat.
5 pieces of big red candy for pooping in the potty seat.

One big smile for daddy.

I'm teaching Janeil how to blog.
She is really cool and awesome.
She is my co-worker and she built her own house and just got her degree.
She rules.

FastStone Capture

Pretty sweet utility... you should check it out...
especially if you need screenshots for work...

hook me up with some ideas of how to potty train Isaiah...
I've heard jelly bean rewards and "calling elmo" rewards where he gets to call "elmo" ie. your spouse acting like elmo afterwards...

Here comes fouth of july shutdown!

"So scared of getting older, I’m only good at being young.
So I play the numbers game to find a way to say that life has just begun."
- John Mayer, Stop This Train

"I’m in repair, I’m not together, but I’m getting there."
- John Mayer, In Repair

I’m trying to be a precision runner. That is, I bought a heart rate monitor that goes with my watch. I put it on and I know exactly how many beats per minute my heart is working at. The idea is that there is a direct correlation between your heart rate and the various things you are trying to accomplish physically and athletically.

You need to know your resting heart rate and your max heart rate. There’s a graph online.

If you’re trying to burn fat, you should exercise at 60-70% of your max heart rate.
If you’re trying to increase endurance, 70-80%.
If you’re trying to achieve your athletic peak, 80-100%.

From what I hear, it’s best to mix it up a little.

Played soccer with some absolute freaks on Wednesday. One guy is an All State Honorable Mention, one guy starts for Hope College, a bunch of them started for Stoney Creek High School. I was the second oldest at 30… everyone else was around 18-24. I got my ass kicked and it was awesome. I had a few good touches, but for the most part I was exhausted. Love soccer.

Annalisa was so cool about me playing. It was really the perfect day outside. Isaiah ran onto the field once. “Daddy!”
Closing your eyes, and inhaling the grass and the late day, and the sunshine and the shadow. It is absolutely exhilarating in my lungs. Intoxicating. You can almost inhale youth from the perspective of wisdom’s experience. Exhale.
Awesome.

I’ve been reflecting lately on the call to serve.
Feed the hungry.
Clothe the nekked. “Why is you nekked?”
House the homeless.
Visit the prisoners.

?

Visit the prisoners? What the crap? Why?
I dunno, cuz Jesus told me to.

I don’t completely understand all the depths behind everything Jesus was talking about. Sometimes, I think it’s best to just do it and maybe in the doing you’ll understand. Otherwise, you’ll get caught up in the fact that you don’t understand why you should do it. When really, sometimes it’s less important that you understand, and more important that you just do it.

So, visit the prisoners.

Talked to G and he said it doesn’t have to be just people in jail. People are imprisoned by lots of things.

We’ll see how this goes.

“I’ve got to break free from these walls and leave behind, this life that’s killing me.”
Gary & Eric, Through You

“Every time I think of me, I’ll think of something more, every time I close my eyes, I’ll dream of what’s in store, for the rest of my life to spend with you, as one.”
Gary & Eric, Steve & Ann

Have I told you how proud of Annalisa I am?

Imagine you’re married with 2 kids and having to tell your spouse that you want to quit your job for one that pays less.

In a world ruled by money, inspiration often lives in defiance of it.

When I met Annalisa she was this beautiful girl who played the piano and got good grades and was extremely ambitious.

She was an environmental consultant at her old job, she was good at it because she’s good at everything, but she hated going to work in the morning and craved more purpose.
Extremely uninspired and therefore uninspiring.

She now works for the American Cancer Society and stares the villain in the face. If cancer is the bad guy, she is one of the heroes. Without many heroes left in my life, it’s great waking up next to one.

I am just so proud of her.

Ethan is playing peek-a-boo. He half covers his eyes with his tiny hands and gets a little frustrated if you don’t yell, “Peek-a-boo!” EVERY time he does it. Haha.

Isaiah is scared of dogs. He loves to be physical and run around.

They always make me smile and I hope they always will. Doubtful, but we’re all allowed to hope.

I’ve been eating right and running and lifting. Not a lot, but I’m down to 158 pounds. 5 more to go, I hope I can do it. I really want to and I’m trying to stay disciplined. I really want to be healthy when the boys want to play and when I can play soccer.

I have this theory that you can’t really experience all the real joys of soccer unless you’re at this certain physical capacity. The likes of which I’ve never really possessed. So I hope to one day.

Built a shed.

Ugly Eric
Five people made it into 58 Greene my sophomore year.
From left to right it was Becki Newton, Eric Agustin, Paula Saha, Eric Galvez, and Chau Phan.
I believe Chau recieved her doctorate in Podiatry from NYU, Galvez recieved his doctorate in Physical Therapy and moved to San Diego, Paula is a famous writer in New Jersey, I am an insecure scrub that wears sweats 94% of my life, and I didn't know what happened to Becki until a couple days ago when Felipe called me and said, "Remember Becki? She's on Ugly Betty?"

Felipe. What the hell are you babbling about?

After a little cyber-stalking I'm pretty much positive that our little Becki who disappeared after her freshman year of singing with us, is Amanda the receptionist on Ugly Betty!

!!!?!?!?!?!

She was really talented then and it's so cool to see she's kicking butt now.

Kazuhiko Akiyama
Makoto Nagano
Eric Agustin

Google it.
Awesome.
Yes it is so awesome.

Health Update

Last October I started running with these guys from work. Darren and Brian. They're Englishman and they have awesome accents and vocabularies. Listening to them talk is so fun. I don't say much but I love to hang with them. Anyways, they said, "Eric, you should run with us. We lost a guy and we think you'd be perfect."

So I ran with Darren and Brian from October to January of this year. We would run about 3 miles, MWF, at lunch time. It took a while to catch up to their pace. We run at a tiny indoor track set in a basement that's a little less than a tenth of a mile long. It's monotonous because it's so small, but running with the guys it's not as bad. I don't know why, but it just isn't. Anyways, I never ran less than 10 minute miles and these guys are striving to break 7 minute miles. So the first time out I think I hung with them for about 6 laps. It was terrible and painful and just sucked. But I slowly over many many painful weeks and months caught up to about to what they do for 3 miles. I think my fastest 3 mile has been around the 22:30 time frame. Fastest 4 mile was around 32:17.

Oh yeah, so I ran from October to January with these guys and I was like, "Darren, how come I'm running all these miles and I'm not losing any weight?"
"Oh Eric, you won't lose weight. When you get to our age, it doesn't matter what you do."
Really?
So I tried the one thing that I absolutely hate.
Eating right.
blech.

So on January 17th, I started eating better.
If all goes well my eating looks like this.

6am: 1 packet of Quaker Oatmeal with a scoop of Mega Whey protein.
10am: banana
Run
Noon: Yogurt and granola bar.
4pm: Apple or pretzels.
7pm: Decently healthy dinner.

That was during weekdays. On the weekends I eat whatever I want whenever I want literally.
It's close to binging but not quite.

So that along with running is how I got from 177 pounds on Jan. 17 to around 162 pounds today.

More to come.

Matthew 10:16

I got a little emotional just now reading this passage because of how difficult it is to obey it.

"I thirst."
Duality.
Addiction.

It's so epic that Christ claims to be 100% God and 100% man. You'd think that would add up to 200% which doesn't make any sense.

"That doesn't make any sense."

That's the statement people have problems with. Well, obviously, if it doesn't make any sense, then it's not true.

Well, no.

There are things that don't make any sense to you now, but they are still true.

I guess we could get deep into it, but just know for now that I really believe that He was 100% man and 100% God. It doesn't make sense to a simple human mind like mine, but that doesn't mean it's not true. It's a mystery and a miracle. I believe in and love mysteries and miracles.

Here's the tie in to my life.

I want Isaiah to thirst. I want him to want more. I want him to battle and fail and battle some more and battle 'til he thinks he's got nothing left and then I want him to dig even deeper and discover more and eventually overcome everything in his path. I want him to devour obstacles and setbacks and difficulties and chew them up and spit them out and yearn for more. I want him to have that intellectual, and physical, and spiritual, and emotional thirst for more.

But at the same time, I want him to be completely comfortable with himself and who he is. I want him to stand up to untruth, peer pressure, insecurity, and guilt. I want him to be able to look in the mirror and be okay with what he sees. I want him to be internally content.

I want him to be simultaneously content and thirsty.
Just as Jesus was simultaneously human and divine.

Is it possible to be both? Content and thirsty, human and divine?
I'm trying to live my life like it is.
I believe in miracles.

--

We are trying to wean (not ween) Isaiah off his binky.
We had him "trade" his binky in to the lady at the Disney store for a Leo Little Einstein's doll.
It went well at the store. He was happy.
But when it was time to go to bed, I learned the consequences of my decision to give Isaiah a pacifier the night we brought him home and he wouldn't stop crying.

This might sound melodramatic, but last night was the equivalent of what I've seen on TV and in movies as a heroine junkie begging for a hit.

He was very upset and crying and screaming for his binky.
I held him and tried to sing and tried to explain to him, but he was inconsoleable. He cried himself to sleep in my arms. Somewhere in the middle of his pain I understood the enormity of parenthood. I made a choice 2.5 years ago that gave my 5 day old son comfort then. That choice led to a display synonymous with drug addiction 2.5 years later. What choices am I making today that give my sons, my family, my friends comfort now, but will have significant consequences later? When did my decisions begin to carry so much gravity? Am I qualified to make these decisions? Probably not.

Thank you Lord for the perfect wife for me.

Anyone want to speculate where I would be without Annalisa?

I don't know where you were on 1/1/2007.
I was cove discovering at Discovery Cove in Orlando.
Discovery Cove is affiliated with Sea World.

It's $159 to get in.
They only let in a thousand people a day.
Includes: $20 Lunch, $10 Continental Breakfast, a 7 day pass to Sea World (1 day at Sea World costs $50), an extremely long Lazy River heated to about 83 degrees, an unbelievably huge and awesome Lagoon FILLED with Manta Rays, exotic fish, a Shark Tank and a Barracuda Tank that press up right up to the Lagoon, so one second you're petting a Manta Ray and you look over your shoulder and there's a shark! But trust me, the glass is there.

Almost got into Magic Kingdom for free, ended up costing $142 for me and Annalisa, kids free under 3 I think.

$210 First class flight per person for me, Annalisa, and Isaiah. Would have cost $360 if Annalisa did not find an insane deal. First class anywhere for $210? Craziness. Can't depend on that every time.

Free lodging thanks to the wonderful and generous Ryan and Lorie Ambrosio and they're savvy Condo management skillz.

$36 for an all day pass to Disney Quest. Spent 7 hours there. Awesome.

Vacationing is not cheap. You really have to budget for it. I think based on this experience, we're going to set aside $100 a month just so we can vacation once a year.

I'm totally going to own my dream vehicle one day.
The GMC Savanna. I think I can cram like 12 people in there.

Hey G! Let's pile our families in the van and go see Reno! ROAD TRIP!!!
Hey Upper Room! Let's pile in the van and go do Habitat!
What's that? You wanna go to Cedar Point? I'll drive! One car! One party! We'll split the gas!

One day I'll be driving back from Cedar Point and everyone will be asleep in the back of my 12 person van and I'll be in heaven.

Isn't that what we all want anyways? Loved ones to travel the long roads and dark nights with? It's not a metaphor anymore on the way back home from an amusement park. Bring on the flat tire and broken down engine. Makes for a better story. They shouldn't be called amusement parks, they should be called Memories Parks because you're not just being amused, you're making memories with people you love.

I finished, "The Sparrow" by Mary Doria Russell. It's a good book in that it made me think.
The theological ramifications of finding intelligent life on another planet are intriguing to me. There was sexual tension which is always breath holding fun. Not just sexual tension, but the author went into the mind of a few Jesuit Priests and did a fairly good job of capturing discipline, method, pain, and fulfillment of him connecting with a beautiful woman. It was tastefully and respectfully done.

Did Jesus die for aliens? Do aliens have souls?
I'm not a science fiction freak, but this book was interesting.

For me and my house, if we are painting a room, we have to set aside at least 3 weeks.
The place is a wreck but it's gonna be worth it. Our room looks sweet!
I may or may not have a cost breakdown later.
Another big lesson I learned again. If you're gonna paint, decide right up front if you're gonna have to re-do the baseboards because you really want to paint all the way to floor and then add new baseboards to get the best line.

I now own a scroll saw. Come and delight. You and I will scroll and saw.

This is the year. 2007. My mantra is: "Use It."

Finally I have a peace in my core that I've never really felt before.
It's kind of snuck up on me. But it's there and it can't be anything but spiritual steadiness because there's so much that's not steady.

That peace in the center of me can't be anything but God. He's given me this gift of peace.

I'm going to Use It.
Use it to minister.
Use it to serve.
Use it to give.
Use it to love.

I'm going to use this peace inside of me and be a solid building block for God to build more of His Kingdom on earth and in Heaven.

I want more babies, but Annalisa wants to snowboard.
Go buy Clue DVD Game.

Quick Bass Notes:
Usually use notes from E1 to G3.
E1=42Hz
G3=196Hz

I've discovered that writing slows time down too.

It's also a better indicator of a good day than video or pictures.

Mine and Annalisa's wedding for instance. Pictures or video don't do that day justice like my own chronology captured here.

What does this mean to me?

I think it means that writing now is worth more than a thousand words later.

Whoa. Anecdotes collide. Pretty.

I'm reading "The Sparrow" by... Mary Russell I think... Linguistic Jesuit priest in space. Pimplicious.

You know how great it is when a book grabs you in the first few pages? Love that.

Anyways. I began my Christmas feeding Ethan a bottle at 3am and reading The Sparrow. Delicous contentment. Warm and cozy with my little homey and a book.

Delight followed in our annual trek to other people's houses. High pitched greetings. Raucous White Elephants. Deep comfy couches. Bows, laughter, coniferous everywhere, tired babies. A random DDT. Moments of life contemplation.

Beauty.

How do you share knowing that your children were happy today? What word conveys that joy?
It's like all the fear and love in my heart decided to hug today... They just kicked up their feet and read a book together. That's how I ended my day too.

Christ's Mass.
Christmas.

Nothing was forced leading up to Christmas this year. I fought the temptation many times. A little extra effort on both our parts and stress gets ushered out and humility, sensitivity, and peace enter in.

Gifts were bought. Chores were done.

Was there enough of "remembering that Christmas is celebrating Jesus' birth?"

My little boy calls. He's hungry.

Another day begins.

My last two posts have been about yummy food.

Played bass in the Upper Room Praise Band at a youth retreat last weekend.

One of my minor dreams came true. I played my bass in my Detroit jacket.

Super pimpy. I messed up a bajillion times but it was still awesome.

I think I've said this before, but once someone told me to strive for joy not happiness because happiness can be fleeting.

Joy is at my core right now. The reason why I know this is because I do have a "peace that passeth human understanding."

Cuz I shouldn't be peaceful. There's family problems. There's work problems. There's serious money problems. Money just isn't adding up right now when it comes to saving. We're simply just not meeting a lot of our saving goals. Am I fearful? Yes. Am I worried? Yes. Am I nervous? Yes.

But all this exists at just beneath skin level.

So we'll say there's 3 levels. Skin, Sub-skin, Core.

Skin? Smiling.
Sub-skin? Up and down.
Core? Smiling

Am I not peaceful core? No.
Am I not joyful at my core? No.

Anyways... that's where I'm at right now.

When I was playing the bass, at one point I was jumping up and down with G and that felt awesome. I would occassionally look over my shoulder at J and just smile cuz he's a sweet drummer. We picked up this 21 year Taiwanese hip hop dude that happened to be this freak on the violin. Absolutely amazing.

Ryan takes us to a new crazy level on the keys.
Kelly and Aileen's voices take us to another level.
Shakers and Tamborine bring us up higher.
Throw in the pro violinist and we're professionals.

It was awesome.

I lost to J in fantasy football. I can't tell you how fun it was to cheer on the Bears D.
I can't begin to tell you how much Isaiah and Ethan bring to the table in terms of joy. Joy on tap. They are just life. Real life. Pure. Anger and sadness and happiness are all Isaiah knows. I'm at a loss for words. If you don't know, if you haven't been in the trenches of parenthood, this is one struggle that I do wish for you.

Cons
Up late at night.
Whining.
Crying for silly reasons.
Asking for ridiculous things.
Having to watch their annoying tv shows.
Pure anger.

Pros
Holding them as you fall asleep together.
Listening as they try and sing silly songs you made up.
Watching as they run up hills and slide down slides.
Mauling them with hugs and kisses and zerberts.
Hiding together under covers from monsters. (Shhhh, I scared. No! I scared!)
Pure laughter.

Scared of having kids? You might always be.
Think you're not ready? You might never be.
Don't think you can handle the pain and sacrifice? Maybe you can't.

But you won't ever know what I'm talking about until you know.

I turn 30 in just over 2 months.

Jesus started his real ministry at 30. He died at 33. Changed the world.
Eric started ___ at 30. He died at ___. ___ the world.

I am 29 years old right now.

When I was married I was 26 years old.

I weighed 145 pounds and I could run 3 miles without blinking.

After getting married I gained 15 pounds. That put me at 160 pounds.
After Isaiah was born I gained 15 pounds. That put me at 175 pounds.

I did a Tri in June and afterwards I weighed about 170 pounds.

My "healthy" Body Mass Index for my height, 5'7" is 24. That means I should be at 153 pounds.

I implemented a plan to lose weight incrementally for 8 months so I could get to my healthy BMI weight. This plan went into effect July 2nd. Since then, I've gained 7 pounds.

I'm at 177 now.

We could talk about planning and self discipline and focus and follow through. Exercise and eating right.

But instead let's talk about donuts.

Donuts are like movies, if someone doesn't like the ones you like, they're basically morons.

Which brings us to my absolute truth statement.

The greatest donut in the universe is: Boston Kreme (Dunkin' Donuts)

If you disagree, you can count back three sentences and ponder my perception of thou.

Boston Kreme! The ultimate donut!

I wonder to what extent my affinity for Boston Kreme donuts plays into the failure of my plan.

That's the funny thing about donuts you love.

It's like.... MMMMmmmm.... Whatever!

Sweet Georgia Brown
1045 Brush St
Detroit, MI 48226
(313) 965-1245
www.sweetgb.com

I missed a field goal at Ford Field last year. It was a 31 yarder. I made it in my next try, but had I made it the first time, things may have been different. I would have tried a 41 yarder next and maybe we would have gotten more points.

The point is, my GM team came in 4th place in the Detroit Sports Bowl event that was supposed to get the Detroit area excited about the Superbowl.

I was kind of sad when all we won were $50 gift certificates to Sweet Georgia Brown.

Little did I know.
September 27th, 2006 was our 3 year wedding anniversary. We decided to drop off the kids and use the certificates.
Sweet Georgia Brown is an upscale Soul Food restaurant a block from the heart of Greektown. Non-descript and low toned it is unflatteringly tucked under a parking structure. I like that. That's underground cool for sure.

I can say sincerely that this was the best meal I've ever had, and I've had some VERY good meals.

Appetizer
Grilled Chicken, Pepperoni and
Fontina Cheese Quesadilla 8

Entrees
Chef Jerry’s Signature Crab Cakes 28
our jumbo lump crabmeat and shrimp cakes with woodford
spicy bourbon mustard sauce and fresh asparagus

Detroit’s Original Fried Lobster 37
twin lobster tails flash fried, served with creole dirty rice
and broccolini, woodford spicy bourbon
mustard sauce

Dessert
Georgia Peach Cobbler with Specialty
Peach Ice Cream 9

You MUST try each of these if you get the chance before you die.
Granted, unless I get another $50 gift certificate, there's no way I'm paying such insane prices for real. Those numbers are the price. I didn't want to fool you into thinking anything else.

I was so proud of Detroit that night. I enjoyed the company of my beautiful and loving wife again. We walked through Greektown and found a shop that sells vintage black and white photographs of Detroit. There was one in 1916 that blew me away. Detroit looked so alive, hopeful, and optimistic.

On the way back to the car, a dull roar turned into a fearful cry of mass joy and poured over the buildings and flooded the streets. A Tiger had hit a home run. Annalisa and I smiled at each other.

Ethan slept through the night mostly all this week. I slept more than 6 hours straight every day this week. I'm starting to see colors again.

Detroit, the Tigers, and me.

Alive. Hopeful. Optimistic.

Now, love is not a feeling in your chest
It is bending down to wash another’s feet
It is faithful when the sun is in the west
And in the east

It can hurt you as it holds you
In its overwhelming flood
Till only the unshakeable is left
“This new command I give you,” He said,
“Love as I have loved”
So brother, love her better than yourself
And give her your heart

For the love of God
In the name of Jesus
The groom who gave his life
To love his bride

For The Love of God
Andrew Peterson

This is not the end here at this grave
This is just a hole that someone made
Every hole was made to fill
And every heart can feel it still--
Our nature hates a vacuum

This is not the hardest part of all
This is just the seed that has to fall
All our lives we till the ground
Until we lay our sorrows down
And watch the sky for rain

There is more
More than all this pain
More than all the falling down
And the getting up again
There is more
More than we can see
From our tiny vantage point
In this vast eternity
There is more

A thing resounds when it rings true
Ringing all the bells inside of you
Like a golden sky on a summer eve
Your heart is tugging at your sleeve
And you cannot say why
There must be more

There is more
More than we can stand
Standing in the glory
Of a love that never ends
There is more
More than we can guess
More and more, forever more
And not a second less

There is more than what the naked eye can see
Clothing all our days with mystery
Watching over everything
Wilder than our wildest dreams
Could ever dream to be
There is more

More
Andrew Peterson

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

-------
Haahahaaaa... wheeeee.....

Ivan & Allison

Discuss.

Ethan Crying

"Daddy." ZZZzzzzzzz.....

Isaiah woke me up this morning by saying that and falling back asleep. He really is such a good little boy. He can be very sweet.

Well... Annalisa's been having contractions since 3:30am this morning...
She was supposed to be induced at 7am this morning so Ethan seems to be embracing the inevitable. We've been embracing it for a few weeks now.

I grew up playing one on one and two on two basketball. So far it's been two on one so I guess it's been a proverbial cakewalk. Two on two. Forever. I'm not as scared this time around, but sometimes I do get hit with extreme bouts of fear for Ethan's health. But what can you do?

Well, you can pray for us! Any thoughts or prayers would be very much appreciated. We truly believe they help.

I used to be sweet at two on two. Probably won't be the same though.

For our wedding, the philosophy was, "Just fill the room with as much love as possible, and see what happens."

I guess we're still just doing that.

God is good.

3:30am - Contractions start
6:30am - Leave for hospital
8:30am - Annalisa starts to walk around and use birthing ball
We're watching Sportscenter and Friends on DVD. The nurse's names are Kelly and Christine. Annalisa is at 3cm, 70%, and -2 station.
10:30am - 3cm, 70%, -2
12:30pm - Eric's burger arrives.
1:10pm - Nurse declares she will break water in 20min.
1:30pm - Resident Kammie breaks water
1:40pm - Annalisa asks for epidural
We're watching Remember the Titans... but DVD won't work.
2:10pm - Epidural administered. Catheter administered.
4:20pm - 4-5cm dilated. Pitosin declared to be necessary.
4:45pm - Pitosin administered.
5:15pm - Pitosin increased.
5:30pm - 6-7cm dilated.
6pm - Pressure felt in butt. Epidural syringe refilled.
7:15pm - Start big pushing.
7:24m - Ethan born.

Ethan Ambrosio Agustin
7lb 8oz.
20"
:)

Americans should buy whatever brand of car they want. But buying from the Big Three is better for the country.
Foreign auto makers have done a great job building cars in the U.S. At first, the “transplants” were little more than screwdriver operations, assembling kits they imported from Japan. But over time, they have added more and more value to what they make in America.
Today, they have styling studios, engineering centers and proving grounds in the U.S. Collectively, they employ tens of thousands of Americans and pay a boat-load of taxes. A number of the vehicles they make here now have as much, or more, domestic content than their Big Three counterparts.
Even though the anti-import crowd points to all the profits that foreign auto makers repatriate to their home countries, I just shrug my shoulders.
What's the profit margin on the cars they make here? Ten percent? That means 90 cents of every dollar they get from cars they make here, stays here. As an American citizen, I'll take that kind of return every day.
And yet, despite all the benefits foreign auto makers bring to America, they don't do enough — compared with the Big Three that is. They still import an awful lot of cars, nearly 3 million — the equivalent of importing the entire U.K. market every year.
And for all the value the foreigners have added here, they still don't do their core engineering in the U.S. They don't create platforms here. They don't design the powertrains, drivetrains, chassis or suspensions.
They don't develop the electronic architectures. They don't conduct the crash testing. All of this is done in their home countries.
Meanwhile, it's General Motors, Ford and Chrysler that are doing the most recruiting at American colleges to fill every kind of job imaginable. They're the ones buying the American-made super computers and hiring the people to program them.
They're the ones doing the computational fluid dynamics here before they go into their wind tunnels. This is where they do their manufacturing engineering.
These are the companies with the greatest diversity of employees, supporting the greatest number of communities and adding the most value to the American way of life.
Sure, the Big Three are doing some off-shoring; they're laying off workers; and they're importing cars. But the size of their contribution to the American economy still dwarfs everything the foreign auto makers are doing.
You may say, “So what? The import brands offer the kinds of cars I want to buy.”
Well, more power to you. Go buy whatever you want. That's the American way. But if you want to get the best ripple effect for the dollars you're spending, buy American.

You're a lemon. Like a bad car, there's something inherently defective in you. And you. And me! All of us here we're lemons! Big, juicy, acidic, ice-tea flavoring lemons! We look like everyone else but we're defective because when most people make a bet they want to win, while we, the degenerate gamblers of the world, we're subconsciously playing to lose. All humans like going to the edge of the abyss, but what makes us different is we go all the way and hurl ourselves off into the void! And we like doing it so much we do it time after time after time! Me? I always felt most alive when they were raking away the chips, and every one here knows what I'm talking about. People like us, even when we win, it's just a matter of time before we give it all back. But when we lose, and I mean the kind of loss that makes your butthole pucker to the size of a decimal point, there's a moment when you're standing there and you've just recreated the worst possible nightmare this side of malignant cancer for the 20th time and you suddenly realize -- hey, I'm still here, I'm still breathing, I'm still alive! In order to really live you have to be aware of your own mortality -- and a losing bet of a certain size is one of the best ways I know of getting that feeling. When you win, you defy death, but when you lose, you survive it, and that's remarkable! Us lemons, we mess stuff up on purpose! We need to constantly remind ourselves that we're alive! Gambling's not the problem, Your need to feel something, to convince yourself you exist, test what's really real, that's the problem!
- Two For The Money

I participated in the Ann Arbor Triathlon yesterday. I “trained” for it for a good 5 months. I say “trained” because I don’t feel that any of my “training” prepared me for this.

The Swim
The swim gets it’s own heading because an experience this terrifying needs to be respected. When I write, “I almost died” it sounds cliché. But it’s true. I Almost Died. Flash to me in January in the Stevenson High School Swimming pool doing math. The tri swim is a half mile. That’s 5,280 feet. Half of that is 2640 feet. The pool at Stevenson is 25 meters long. Let’s call it 25 yards which is 75 feet. So there and back is one lap which is 150 feet. So two laps is 300 feet. Eight times 300 = 2400 feet and 8 times 2 laps is 16 laps. Close enough. So if I can do 16 laps in this pool, I’ll be good for the tri. So that’s 4 non stop laps by the end of February, 8 by the end of March, 12 by the end of April and 16 by the end of May. So every week I need to add a lap since I only have time to swim once a week.

Flash to me skipping weeks cuz I’m exhausted from work and I don’t have the heart to leave my wonderful pregnant wife with a crazy 1 year old. Flash to me cheating and stopping to rest halfway between laps because I’m tired. Flash to me ignoring minor and major flaws in my stroke.

8:17am - Flash to a hundred or so chartreuse swim caps worn by 15-29 year old males up to their waste in Halfmoon Lake awaiting the starting horn. There is a lone red swim cap to the far right of the group. A red beacon of hope for me. A beacon of my despair for others who care about me.

Red swim caps are worn by 30-39 year old males. They are Wave 1 and their start time was at 8am. Light Blue swim caps are worn by women 35 and older and men who are 50 and older. They are Wave 2 and their start time was at 8:05am. Chartreuse swim caps are worn by 15-29 year old males, we’re Wave 3, and our start time is at 8:18am. White swim caps are worn by 34 and younger women, they’re Wave 4, and their start time is at 8:23am. Yellow swim caps are worn by 40-49 year old men, they’re Wave 5, and their start time is at 8:30am.

So the Red swim caps in Wave 1 left at 8am. All except one. One was still by me in my Chartreuse cap.

My friend Michael Antiporta was one of six roommates my sophomore year in college. He was my Keeper all through college Intramural soccer. Many a game of Squabble and Chess and real life have been pored over by our minds. He has been a confidant, an ally, a groomsman, an epic friend in difficult times. He said he’d stay by me through the swim. He’s 30, so he wore a Red swim cap.

I felt fine before the race started. The water was 72 degrees and the air was 70 degrees. We were all wearing wetsuits because anything less than 78 degree water and you’re allowed to. The wetsuit keeps you warm and buoyant.

When the horn sounded, I just started to swim as normal. We were supposed to swim clockwise around the 6 buoys.

3 4

2 5

1 6

START/FINISH

Halfway to the first buoy and things start to not be cool. Everyone seems to be swimming much faster than me. That’s odd. I’m getting tired too. What’s going on?

I’m at the first buoy now and the story is unfolding. I’m very slow. The water accumulating in the arms of my slightly too large wetsuit feel like 10 pound weights. I’m starting to hyperventilate. I’m kicking like I’m dog paddling. I flip over on my back to backstroke because I heard you could do that when you need to rest. I’m broken.

“Porta… nothing feels right.”

“You’re okay.”

“Porta… I’m… so… scared.” The fear in my voice makes me more scared.

“You’re panicking. You need to relax.”

I’m panicking, I need to relax. Okay, slow down breathing. Try to enjoy the water. Annalisa must be so worried. I can’t believe how slow I am. Okay. Try and swim again.
Stroke. Stroke. Stroke. Breathe. Stroke. Stroke. Stroke. Breathe. This sucks, I’m a little past the first buoy and I’m exhausted. How did I get here?
A few more strokes and I’m on my back again breathing quickly. My arms hurt and I ponder taking off my wetsuit.
A few more iterations of stroke and on my back. I have a weak little system that now seems to be working. It incorporates stroking as much as I can normally and then flipping over when I get out of sync or scared. Maybe this will work.

I’m at the second buoy now. I’m spent. Something scarier is happening. When I flip over I start to get dizzy. I get scared of being dizzy so I try to swim normally. I swim normally and I get too tired so I flip over. The weak system is breaking down further.
I continue to struggle.

I’m tired so I flip to my backstroke. I start to say the Lord’s Prayer because that usually calms me down. “Our Father, who art in Heaven,” Then it happens. The blackness starts to creep into the peripheral of all my vision.

Oh my gosh. I’m passing out.

I flip over and start to swim normally to try and stop myself from losing consciousness. But I’m still spent so I don’t last long. I have to go to my backstroke again. When I do, a larger wave happens to wash over my face and I swallow a bunch of water. Panic. I try to maintain even though I continue to be terrified. The water is getting more agitated and more water is splashing in my face.

Oh no. They caught me.

The 34 and younger women in Wave 4 have caught me. They’re like a stampede of white caps. Kicking up more water and creating general chaos I’m sure I’ll be overrun, so I concede. I can’t do this. My arms don’t work anymore. I’m blacking out and swallowing tons of water. I’m thinking about how I can call the boat over to pick me up. I’m thinking about how to explain to Annalisa that I couldn’t do it. I’m thinking…

“Don’t worry, I’ll block for you.”

Porta. He said he’ll block for me so the girls won’t put me under. Oh man. So I try again. I go back to trying to swim normally and do the things I said would do when I was training. The shame of being caught by all the girls is strong, but the least of my worries. How do I tell the boat I’ve got nothing left? The white caps are starting to thin out when I hear a voice.

“Hey green cap! Hey green cap!”
I stop and wade. It’s the boat.

“Hey green cap! You okay?”

…

“UHHH…. YEAH! I’M OKAY!”

What have I done? I try to keep swimming as if I’m okay.
I can feel the boat watching me. I can feel Annalisa worrying. A few more minutes of the swimming façade and we approach the 3rd buoy.

“Here’s the turn, you’re doing good.”

I love Porta.
All the white caps have passed me now. I’m parallel to shore so I get a glimpse of land with every breath on my right. The water is more calm.

1,2,3, breathe. 1,2,3 breathe. 1,2,3 breathe. 1,2, panic, flip, backstroke, backstroke, flip. 1,2,3 breathe. 1,2,3 breathe. 1,2, panic…etc.

My stroke sucks. How did it come to this? I’m so far from shore. I’m kicking too much. I should’ve practiced more in this wetsuit. I can’t string together 3 lengths of breaths.

“You got it man.”

Porta again. Wow. I need to buy him something expensive. I’m halfway home.

The fourth buoy. Turn and go home. But I’m blind without my glasses and there are a few orange blobs in the distance to aim for. I pick the orange blob on the far left.

“One more buoy man.”

Porta told me when we started that you gotta take it one buoy at a time.

1,2,3 breathe. 1,2,3 breathe. 1,2 panic, flip, backstroke, backstroke… mouthful of water, splash, splash, gasp. Crap.

Wave 5. The Yellow swim caps. 40-49 year old men. They left 12 minutes after me and they caught me.

How humiliating. There’s no way that Porta could have anticipated how slow I was. He wouldn’t have said he would stay by me if he knew. He’s blocking for me again. I’m so ashamed. I figure I have to honor his effort by giving more of my own. It’s not much but I’ll give it to him.

Right when I get to the fifth buoy, I feel a large hand on the small of my back. It pushes me down slightly. Before I go under I see a large yellow cap go by me on my immediate right. I’m under for a moment and try to recover. I look to my back left and there’s Porta right with me. There’s a yellow cap to my left who is going slow. There’s a white cap on her back facing me, visibly struggling to finish. She’s gasping for air. It’s terrible I know, but their struggle encouraged me. I didn’t feel as alone or ashamed. I was just one of them trying to finish. So I just swam.

By the sixth buoy it occurred to me that I wasn’t going to drown or die. My stroke is still terrible. I never relaxed fully. I never found my groove. I never felt good. But I wasn’t going to die. So that’s pretty good.

I’m impatient to finish. I’m rushing and frantic. I’m doggie paddling, freestyling, backstroking, sidestroking. Anything to be done. Finally, the water gets really murky and brown. I spot land beneath me. I say screw it I know I’m still far out, but I want to touch the ground. So I try.

Nothing.

I thought the ground was closer but it’s still really far away. I just have to keep swimming until I know for sure. So I keep going a little further and finally I see Porta rising out of the water. I put my feet down and stand up. I’m completely disoriented. The beach is bare. There’s a few people cheering for us. It’s Ryan, Lorie, and Annalisa.
I’m dizzy and tired, sheepish and humbled. I wanted to hug them. But all I could say was, “Thanks.”

I had 14 miles of hills to ride my bike on, and 5 miles of trail I had to run still.

The transition area from swim to bike was on the top of a hill I had to run up. When we got to the top, Porta went to his bike and me to mine. I tried to wipe off my feet as best I could, but there was still a bunch of sand on my feet. I put on my socks and shoes anyways and I saw Porta go by me. He said something like “Pedal hard!” Hmmm… I love to ride my bike. Rowena called out to me and it turns out she was in the transition area still too. It was nice to see her. I downed a Gu pack and some water and took off.

I love riding my bike. The wind rushes in your ears and the sun shines and it’s fun to pedal. So I was gonna treat myself and have fun because even though I knew there were hills, I knew I wouldn’t drown on them. Plus, if I don’t have fun, I know I’ll never do this again. I’m about a mile into the bike and Rowena catches me. She says something like, “Just a joyride now!” She was right. It was a joy. But as I watched her pull away from me, I noticed she had good form. Her bike seat was set higher than mine and her back was bent low with her head down. Very aerodynamic. I was super Mary Poppins tra la la-ing. There were some big hills. Nothing crazy. I would just switch down to lower gears when it got too difficult. When I got to the top of some hills and rode the slope down, I was just short of sticking my feet straight out and yelling, “Wheeee!” Great fun. Some hills were quite difficult, and I learned that you can’t always switch gears when you want to. You kind of have to anticipate what you’ll need 15 seconds before it happens because if you get into a hill at too difficult a gear ratio, some times your chain won’t want to jump to the right gear mid climb. So I had to stand up sometimes and pedal hard and when I did I pretended I was Lance Armstrong on the Tour. I would smile big when I got to the top.

I tried to drink lots of water because I heard I would need it on the run.

There was one down hill where I know it was the fastest I’ve ever been on a bike. One rock or one bad bump in the road and I’m going flying. I did not stay low and aerodynamic. I let the wind hit me square in the face and chest and my eyes started to water. It was awesome. Whee!

Ryan, and Lorie, and Annalisa were right there when I finished the bike. They were all smiles and incredibly encouraging.

I racked my bike and had another Gu pack and some water. I ran off with two more Gu packs in hand.

The day was beautiful. It turned out to be 70 degrees and sunny all day. Not too cold for the swim, not too hot for anything else. The spectators didn’t fry either so that was nice. I would have felt terrible if Annalisa, just about 9 months pregnant, had to endure bad weather too.

My legs were a little achy, but I was just praising God for great weather. The day before, I had gone into the first quarter mile of the run with the group to see how it was. So I kind of knew how it would start. We’re not talking about a trail. We’re talking about a T-R-A-I-L. We’re talking 4 inches of dirt/gravel/rocks and then brush on your left and right. The trees cover most the sky but the blue and sun still peeked through. Occasionally, there would be flats of 2 foot wide sand to run on, but that never lasted long. Roots would stick up 2 or 3 inches to trip you. Fist sized rocks were everywhere waiting for you to turn an ankle on them. We were cautioned that one year, poison ivy leaned onto the heads of the trail runners and got them. You also didn’t want to slow down for very long or the mosquitoes would make you regret it.

The first mile marker goes by and I’m thinking, “Hey, that wasn’t bad.” So the trail got mad at me and began to punish me for running it.

All I can say is that the trail understood how to break you. Hope can get people through the most difficult times. When villains use hope as a tool to inflict more pain. Those are the most Machiavellian dramas. The trail knew how to use hope to hurt me.

The trail would tell a tale. She would whisper that this upcoming hill is indeed difficult, but if you were to endure it up until it disappears at the top around the bend, you surely will have a downhill slope to catch your breath. Being unfamiliar with her, I believed her sordid story. I believed that if I worked hard now, I would be rewarded at the top. So I worked and I battled, and I slipped, and maintained and as the top around the bend approached I anticipated looking down on a slope opposite the one I had just labored heavily to conquer.

Then her lie revealed itself.

Twice as high. Twice as steep. She had to be laughing at me, especially when I believed her again and again. The only good that came of all this deception was the fact that I was somehow distracted long enough to miss the mile 2 marker. There was no other explanation than I missed it or had my head down when I was trying to avoid treachery. I fully expected to see the 3 mile marker soon. There was an explanation though, and I broke again when I understood. Her deceit knew no boundaries. When the conspicuous white sign with the number 2 on it came into my field of vision I was angry I had been lied to again.

“I hate you trail! Die and eat my poop!”

Had I screamed this, I was so alone in the woods far behind the 34 and under women and 40-49 year old men, that only the trail would have been offended. I had a Gu pack. I looked at the top of my fist near my thumb. I had Annalisa write a word there to help me with perspective on pain. Another word was on my opposite hand.

Those words snapped me back. I remembered that I know pain, and this isn’t it.
Pain takes all your insides and makes it empty. Pain takes all your dreams and plans you had in your life and dangles it on a string. It lets go and watches you crumble when you understand your idea of how things would work out will never be. Pain stays in your mind and makes sunny days gray and children’s laughter annoying. Depression, psychiatric therapy, physical rehab, a deep and ominous feeling of loss, days weeks and years you can’t get back, this is pain. I know pain, I’ve seen pain in the eyes of my friends and family.

This isn’t pain. This is a jog through the woods. Calling it a “run” would be a disrespect to runners since I was going so slow.

This. Is. Not. Pain.

That’s the phrase I repeated in my head until the fourth mile marker. By this point I had convinced my self the cramp in my right quad was not pain. But it was actually quite painful. I had a Gu pack and the cramp almost immediately went away. Sweeeet. Go Gu.

When my no pain mantra got boring I would repeat,

You. Must. Love. Me.

Because I truly believe nature was meant to be enjoyed by humans. Especially beautiful days when you get to take a swim and feel wind on your face and the sun keeps you and your loved ones warm. Not every day is like this so I felt very loved.

The final quarter mile or so was on uphill pavement. Bye bye trail! I’ll like you more when I get to know you better. My mind determined that the end was near and started to systematically shut down parts of my body. First my left quad, then my right quad again, then my right hamstring. The final hundred meters was a downhill slope and my legs were done.

When I crossed the finish line, everyone was so kind and encouraging. It was great. They all waited for me. I love ‘em. I had to stretch my quads immediately because they were so cramped up.

Annalisa said I did a good job and that she was proud of me. What more is there?

My total time - 2:55:14
Swim – 32:51
Transition 1 – 4:54
Bike – 1:07:22
Transition 2 – 2:17
Run – 1:07:50

I finished 549th out of 560 overall.
I finished slowest in my 15-29 year old male age group.
I finished 1hour and 35 minutes behind the first place male.
I finished 1hour and 25 minutes behind the first place female.
I finished 55 minutes behind the slowest 55-59 year old females.
I finished 50 minutes behind the slowest 60-64 year old males.
I finished 17 minutes behind Porta on the bike.
I finished 13 minutes behind Porta on the run.

Lessons Learned

Train in open water for goodness sake. Don’t cheat yourself in training.
Train in your own wetsuit that fits you.
Buy the lower handle bars for goodness sake.
Learn to pedal correctly and keep your body in good form.
Train on hills and learn how and when to shift.
Buy a decent pair of running shoes. Don’t use the 900 peso pair of faux Nike shox from the Philippines.
Train on hills and use the muscles you’re supposed to use to get up them.
Have someone to train with you.
Learn to suffer well. Jesus suffered well. William Wallace suffered well. You can learn to push a little harder.

I loved seeing everybody. I loved going through that with them. Even though I went through most of it a little while after they did. I was reminded why I love soccer so much. A lot of it is that you’re going into battle together. I love to say, “It’s the struggle that binds.” When people go through things together it binds them in ways they can’t explain. In my opinion, the absolute best part about this Tri was the swim. It was so real and so terrifying and I could not have gotten through it without Porta. We are now bound. We are bound tighter now than we were having endured my difficult struggle. Only he and I know what really transpired on that water and we are bound tighter because of it. On your death bed I’m told you remember relationships you’ve made first and foremost before work and accomplishments. And what builds good relationships? You can say communication and honesty. But I say it’s the struggle endured together that builds great relationships. To have heroes, you need villains to battle. Some days you have neither. That day I had both.

I literally felt like I was going to drown. I had mentally and physically given up. What good is a friend if not to help you through difficult times? Now I know that there is one more person who would never let me drown, who is patient enough to stay with me, and smart enough to know how to help. When the time comes, I hope to do the same.

Michael Antiporta

Thanks and I love you man.

ps.
US over Italy: 2-1

In 1967, both sides in Nigeria's civil war agreed to a a 48-hour cease-fire so that Pele, the Brazilian forward considered the most magical player ever, could show off his skills in an exhibition match. Last October, after Ivory Coast clinched a trip to Germany, President Laurent Gbagbo acceded to the entreaties of his football federation and restarted peace talks in a country riven by conflict since 1999.
On the other hand, a series of disputes between El Salvador and Honduras boiled over in 1969 when their national teams met to begin a three-game World Cup qualification series. A riot during the second game ruptured diplomatic relations and was followed two weeks later by the 100-hour "Soccer War" that claimed 2,000 lives.
It has been said there is no greater drama in sports than watching a team trying to validate its national character in a World Cup. That is as true today as it was in the game's formative years.
More than a half-century ago, Uruguay, the original South American power, upset Brazil, the emerging one, and eight Uruguayans were said to have dropped dead from heart attacks as the country erupted in celebration.
That depth of emotion, like the game itself, still seems hopelessly foreign to most Americans. But all it requires is a paradigm shift.
"Soccer was not meant to be enjoyed," Gopnik wrote. "It was meant to be experienced."

We are not alone
We are more than flesh and bone
What is seen will pass away
What is not is going home

So when you lay me down to die
I’ll miss my boys, I’ll miss my girls
Lay me down and let me say goodbye to this world
You can lay me anywhere
But just remember this
When you lay me down to die
You lay me down to live

So much to say.

You know we actually did end up doing Habitat for Humanity in January.
That was incredibly cool. We built the framing for 2 houses in a day.

We did Project Linus last month. Made cool blankets to be handed out to needy kids in the area. I hope the ones we made are incredibly warm. I hope the kids can cuddle up to their families and wiggle their toes and smile.

God has been so good to us. Some of the most difficult things I could have attempted to imagine are still being endured, but we’re still getting by. I have been blessed with the most wonderful woman. She has bore us an amazingly joy inducing baby boy with another joy maker on the way. With Christ at the center of it all, there’s no room for wants. That’s it. That’s everything. Work, money, home, cars. All bonus.

God.
I think about Him all the time. I shoot up little prayers to Him hoping they’ll get answered how I want them to. Pauline’s placenta previa. Galvez’s rehab. Isaiah’s well being. My mom and dad. Hong. I guess with prayer, the only thing I can say, is that it matters. Praying matters. I could research a bunch of miracles that occurred that were supposedly due to the power of prayer. But you could research a bunch of tragedies that occurred despite the fervent prayer of millions. I read recently that you should start with what you know and move to the unknown. My research, reflection, meditation, experience has led to the belief that Jesus is God, God is love, love is good, and good has purpose. Somehow this ties into prayer. Purpose and prayer. Prayer and purpose. Finkle and Einhorn. How? Why?

I love to smile and laugh.

I was in DC for a momentous occasion when pogiboy/pimp Alvin proposed to his fiancé, Jenny. J and I made a tremendous cannonball run to be there for a little longer than the commute. So worth it. Souls promising each other they will be bound forever soon. Another time I wish I could see cosmic energy. Hmmm…

Cosmic Energy
Stand back and watch the radiance of blue,
The radiance of you,
and he, complete,
wrapped in cosmic energy,

Love in white beams,
Yellow rays, deep violet portrays,
New levels of hope and pain,
Displayed.

Oh to close my eyes and see how crimson becomes gold,
Oh to know as we approach the aisle of truth,
Behold beauty beyond light and sound,
The feast and mystery, as we are He,
In cosmic energy.

-

I love to write. I love to write poetry and spoken word and songs. I love to write about friends. I could probably write a whole book about cool people I’ve met. One page for each person and why I think they’re cool.

Just for kicks, I’ll start with Isaiah.

Isaiah is a cool ass dude. He doesn’t know how to snap, but when he sees daddy snapping to Stevie, he tries. That’s cool. He says, “juuuuuuiiiiiice!!” I’m inclined to go, “Jews? Where?” But instead I go and get him some juice. I say, “We’re going home!” and he says, “Wi-go?” Which means Wiggles. The Wiggles are 4 dudes that sing silly songs and dance around. They are definitely millionaires. I have a hunch their songs are designed to mock me. One song goes, “Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, cock-a-dooodle doo!!!” All I hear is, “We-are-millionaires-that-sold-our-pride-for-a-seemingly-altruistic-cause-but-the-point-now-is-that-we-are-millionaires-and-you-are-not! Cockadoodleydoo!!” Isaiah knows the motions.
Isaiah is also a pimp because he likes to Eskimo kiss. He knows the sound a lot of animals make. It’s weird though sometimes. Cow. That’s a cow. What’s the cow say? “Moo.” Very good! Dog. That’s a dog. What’s the dog say? “Arf” Very good! Bunny. That’s a bunny. What’s the bunny say? “…..” Oh yeah, um, my bad…. Bunnies are mute. Unless I suppose you’re trying to kill it. Then I imagine it would make some type of gurgling/wheezing/squealing which I’m not sure I would want you to attribute to bunnies in general. So let’s assume they’re mute for now. Or for always for that matter. Actually what the bunnies say is of no real consequence. It’s not like you’ll get made fun of later for not knowing. Anyways… let’s move on…. Okay… ummm… Giraffes! That’s a giraffe. What does the giraffe say? “….” Wait, giraffes only have long necks.

So yeah, Isaiah is cool and parenting is hard. I’m tired.
Good night.

Christmas Tree

top
white
light green
light brown
light red - 1 w/o tape
black
red-orange
yello
light blue
white - 1 w/o tape
orange
bottom

Theology of the Hammer – Millard Fuller, President and Founder of Habitat for Humanity

For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.
Matthew 25:35-36

If there is a poor man with you, one of your brothers, in any of your towns in your land which the LORD your God is giving you, you shall not harden your heart, nor close your hand from your poor brother; but you shall freely open your hand to him, and shall generously lend him sufficient for his need in whatever he lacks.
Deuteronomy 15:7-8

Those from among you will rebuild the ancient ruins; You will raise up the age-old foundations; And you will be called the repairer of the breach, The restorer of the streets in which to dwell.
Isaiah 58:12

For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field, God's building. According to the grace of God which was given to me, like a wise master builder I laid a foundation, and another is building on it.
1 Corinthians 3:9-10

Why do you call Me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say? Everyone who comes to Me and hears My words and acts on them, I will show you whom he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid a foundation on the rock; and when a flood occurred, the torrent burst against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who has heard and has not acted accordingly, is like a man who built a house on the ground without any foundation; and the torrent burst against it and immediately it collapsed, and the ruin of that house was great.
Luke 6:46-49

We are getting involved with Habitat for Humanity Oakland County.

Technically, I live in Macomb County. But my church is in Oakland County. So since I hope to get involved with the church, I hope a relationship can be made between Habitat Oakland County and my church, St. Anastasia.
Habitat for Humanity’s mission is to try and eliminate substandard housing world wide.

It was founded in 1976 by Millard Fuller and his wife Linda in Americus, Georgia. She was mad at him for ignoring her and his family for a job that paid well, so she left him to think about the situation. He begged her to come back saying he changed. He quit his job and sold his belongings and together they started Habitat.

Habitat for Humanity Oakland County is an “affiliate” of Habitat for Humanity International.
There are 84 affiliates in Michigan. In 2004 Habitat Oakland County won Michigan Affiliate of the Year.

Since 1994, Habitat Oakland County has built 61 houses in Oakland County. They house about 220 people, about 135 of them children. They are currently focused on houses in Pontiac. In 2002 they built 4 houses. In 2005 they built 13.

Build Procedure:
All houses have basements.
Volunteers do exterior, drywall, moldings, toilets, landscaping and a lot of other easy stuff.
Professionals do tough stuff that must meet code.
The average build takes 14 weeks building every Saturday.
Blitz builds take 1 to 2 weeks.

Finance Information:
It costs about $65,000 to build the house. Houses must be fully funded before ground is broken. There are currently 24 lots in Habitat Oakland County waiting for homes.
In the end, most houses get conservatively appraised around $100,000.
The family who will move into the home will end up with a mortgage payment of about $450 a month including taxes and insurance.
Most mortgage loans are for 20 to 30 years at 0% interest.
All mortgage payments are pumped back into Habitat to build more homes.

Family selection process:
The family’s household income must be 30%-50% of median community income. They must have income that enables them to pay the mortgage. They must currently be living in substandard or hazardous conditions. They must be willing to work 300 hours on their house and other Habitat homes.

Sponsorship:
Since it costs $65,000 before you can start building, Habitat asks for sponsors. Sponsors get first dibs on one or more of the fourteen Saturday workdays for a regular build.
$65,000 divided by 14 days is about $4600 dollars per day. So if we pull together enough people to donate about $5000, We can Adopt-A-Day and we would get to work on the house that day. Otherwise, we have to wait for openings to the public when sponsors can’t work a particular day. The amount of volunteers needed on a work site varies depending on where they are in the build. If it’s early in the build where they need to put up walls and frames, they need about 20-24 volunteers. If it’s later in the build where they’re putting up cabinets, they might only need 10-12 volunteers. Too little and too many volunteers is dangerous.

Other info:
Habitat was founded and remains a Christian ministry. But religious conviction and practice is not a requirement in any way to become a Habitat homeowner or volunteer.
Volunteers are needed in construction and more. Non construction activities include site hosting, fundraising, special events, and helping with family selection.

Christopher Walken was there.

We played poker together in a room that constantly changed. One moment it was luxurious with deep dark wood oak tables. The next moment it was cheap and dusty. Well lit, light and bright one moment, contemporary and cool the next.
I was experiencing this life while an extension of me was fiddling with the past. As the past part of me tweaked the previous circumstances, the poker room I was experiencing now shifted. But all time led here.

Previously I was the past part of me. In a not so subtle or discreet way, I could send people back through ages and join them.

I sent her back. She was 20 something, beginning to be a lady.
I sent her back further. She was15 or so. She was vibrant and beautiful. I declared, “We’re friends!” and we danced and danced. She was so pure. Her smile was so wonderfully innocent and sincere. She had her whole life ahead of her. She could be anything.

I sent him back. The posters were brown and cream, phallic and disturbing. I tried to understand. But I couldn’t.

There was a dark blue bathroom stall. I was represented by Matt Damon. Some Gwyneth Paltrow look alike was in the stall. She kept talking about naughty and slightly obscene things. I was confused but interested. I watched another form of myself walk in with a black backpack. I watched myself pondering entering the stall where Paltrow look alike was talking or using the urinal. After contemplation, I watched myself choose the urinal.

The game mattered. The chips mattered. The room mattered.
It just kept changing and shifting.

“When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

These were the last words spoken on Martin Luther King’s speech delivered on the steps at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. on August 28, 1963.

This has been historically referred to as his, “I Have a Dream” speech.

Can you feel the intensity? The urgency? The need for significant and long lasting change?

I can feel it. I felt it just now when I read the words aloud and I let the moment flow through me. But I might never ever FEEL it.

Segregation. Slavery. Racism.

I think I know. But I don’t know.

I read Martin Luther King’s, “Letter from Birmingham Jail”.

There is a part that reads, “But they have acted in the faith that right defeated is stronger than evil triumphant.”

Act in the faith that right defeated is stronger than evil triumphant.

Somewhere on the walls of stone around my heart these words have been tagged in graffiti.

It’s a secret truth I’ve been living by but never told myself.

Secret’s out.

I'm awake right now because I'm so full of positivity and hopeful energy...
or I just can't sleep.

I hope I can control my diet and exercise and be ready for the Tri in June.
I hope I can learn how to play the bass.
I hope the new baby is doing well and is healthy.
I hope we can pull this gig together for April.
I hope I can write something that is worth while.
I hope I can learn this custom embroidery software to make a difference.
I hope our condo can sell.
I hope Elijah is well.
I hope Chaos can win an outdoor championship this year.
I hope Connie's and Paolo's and Gene's and Jen's and Ma'an's weddings go well this year.
I hope Kimmie's having fun in Vegas.
I hope I can summon up an oversized Risk board for Ryan's table.
I hope I can wake up in the morning.
I hope, and that's refreshing.

Have I ever told you how much I love to write?
It's incredibly therapeutic. There's a few personal things I hope to do until I die.
They are: chess, soccer, and write.

Do you think I can write something that matters?
I think I have it in me.
I'm so much cooler for knowing Jon who is contributing to writing a book.
Just like I'm cooler for knowing Connie who ran a marathon.
Just like I'm cooler for knowing people who have completed Triathalons.

One day I will write something worth while.
For now, I will write what's in my heart.
Something silly, and something serious.

Yum, yum, yum, yum, YUUUUUMMMM!!!!
Yo, my name's Isaiah!
I'm a true playah!
I'ma slice, McDyess, Fish-Filet ya!
I eat my oatmeal, drink milk, than say, "AAAaaaahhh!"
I just don't care, that my underwear,
is so full of McNasty, I'ma run over there,
Then run over here, pop in the Nemo,
roll in the limo, that is my homey's black Blazah,
cuz Yo, my name's Isaiah.
Word to the poop in my pants.

People trippin' out on intelligent design?
Takes more faith to not believe that someone smart made the skies,
or the sunsets or leaves, or the breeze and the trees,
or the reproductive genius that bore you and me,

so take another toke, or bong another beer,
cuz the brain between your ears just ain't thinkin' clear,
If you think that Humans came from one Amoeba's Cell,
you ain't just trippin', you just fell.

Breathe the air that was made for you,
See thru eyes that He gave to you,
Feel with hands that were meant to feel,
Know the Life that was laid for you,

I'm not ready to write the last verse of this.
I hope someday I will be.

This is it.

2006.

Here we go.

A new hope.
I heard a wonderful lyric today.
“In the end, I wanna be standing at the beginning with you.”

I love new beginnings.

Here is something I would like to blog about.

New Years Party
World Cup Soccer
English Professional Soccer
Chaos Soccer
Isaiah loving Finding Nemo
Custom embroidery
A new Bass
Little Women
Peace
Ann Arbor Tri training

New Years
The party was at Jon and Dana’s house this year. It rocked 80’s style. Drank Mike’s. Karaoked. Dressed up in shell adidas, rolled my socks down, wore leg warmers, Umbros, Thundercats, white glove, Karate Kid bandana. Played poker. Played Quarters. No Irwin, Lose, or Tran. I know I’m buzzed when I’m hovering endlessly over the bean dip wondering how it could be so incredibly delicious.

World Cup Soccer
Holy crap it’s here. It’s 2006 and the world will come to Germany to war. Blood will be spilt. Ethnic slurs will abound. Heroes will conquer. I hope the US does well. They seem to have a decent draw. They were one of thirty-two teams that qualified for the
World Cup. These thirty two teams were placed in to 8 groups of 4. Groups A-H. The US is in Group E with Italy, Ghana, and the Czech Republic. Usually there is a “group of Death”…. This time around the US is not in it. I think the toughest group is Group A. It has Germany and Poland in it.

English Professional Soccer
The English Premier League is a league competition for English Football clubs located at the top of the English football league system making it England's main football competition. The Premier League is the most lucrative football league in the world, with total club revenues of over £1.3 billion in 2003–04 according to Deloitte, more than 50 percent above its nearest competitor, Italy's Serie A [1]. It is currently second in the UEFA rankings of European leagues based on their performances in European competitions over a five year period, behind Spain's La Liga, and was the best performing league in 2004–05[2
The four top leagues in the English Premier League from best to worst are:

Premiership (20 teams)
Championship (24 teams)
League 1 (24 teams)
League 2 (24 teams)

So a total of 92 teams.

There is a promotion/relegation (demotion) system for these leagues. That is, you can be promoted up or relegated down depending on your record for the season. The rules are as follows:
Premiership (level 1): Bottom three teams relegated.
Championship (level 2): Top two automatically promoted; next four teams play off, with the winner gaining the third promotion spot. Bottom three relegated.
League One (level 3): Top two automatically promoted; next four teams play off, with the winner gaining the third promotion spot. Bottom four relegated.
League Two (level 4): Top three automatically promoted; next four teams play off, with the winner gaining the fourth promotion spot. Bottom two relegated.
There are 20 clubs in the Premier League. During the course of a season each club plays the others twice, once at their home stadium and once at that of their opponents for a total of 38 games for each club.
Chaos Soccer
We got our asses handed to us this session. Unbelievable how good some of the teams we played are. They were just amazing. We have so much room to grow and we are definitely trying. It’s actually incredibly frustrating. But a good kind of frustrating. If we weren’t frustrated that would mean we didn’t care.

Finding Nemo
Isaiah is throwing a tantrum right now because Annalisa won’t let him stand on the piano stool. Isaiah LOVES Finding Nemo. It’s crazy. He’ll sit up in the morning and the first thing he says is, “Uh-Oh.” It’s hilarious. But the next thing out of his mouth is, “Ma-mo?” and then, “Go.” Ma-mo means Nemo. He used to say Nemo but just switched to Ma-mo because… well I don’t know why but he did. I’m not sick of it yet….

Custom Embroidery
Here are things that we have purchased lately to do our own custom embroidery.
Brother SE270D Embroidery and Sewing machine- $400 - Walmart
Vikant Ultimate Box Plus and Ultimate Card - $150 – eBay
Embird embroidery software ($99) with Embird Studio ($150) – Free Trial versions for now http://www.embird.com/

A New Bass
I’ve been thinking for about a year now and I’m gonna try. Bought a bass from a place nearby and we’ll see how it goes. I really want to learn and I hope I don’t give up.

Little Women
Saw Little Women at the Fisher Theater in Detroit. Very cool. I wanna see Three Mo Tenors now. McGovern was amazing. I cried four times. I get so sad when I think of all the sacrifices that have been made across the country for me and my family and our freedom. I was so happy the other night just dancing and playing with Isaiah and Annalisa and I can’t believe that there are fathers and husbands out there that have been away from there families for so long in another country fighting for what they believe in.
The play reminded me of that and how much I miss writing. The main character Jo thinks she can be an amazing writer. Sometimes I think I can be an amazing writer too. She made real sacrifices to be a good writer. I don’t think I can make those sacrifices. But I still really enjoy writing. Sometimes I think I could write lyrics to a musical.

Peace
I told Annalisa yesterday that this was the first time in a long time that I’ve actually felt peaceful inside. It felt fantastic.

Ann Arbor Tri-training
Today is the first day of 2006 and anything is possible.

I have a million things to feel sad about.
I have a million things to feel happy about.
When people mention love and honor and joy and strength and unity and faith, certain neurons fire in my head that lead to warm fuzzy feelings.
When people mention pain and strife and hurricanes and tsunamis I feel a deep sense of foreboding and grayness.
Melancholy. Inconsequential. Trapped behind walls of too tired to be proactive and too uninspired to be inspiring. I’ve felt like this a lot lately.

I have a little boy.
I can’t believe how difficult it is to take care of him.
He’s incredibly nuts. He’s into everything. He cries about everything.
I love him so much. He rediscovered my belly button yesterday. He then proceeded to, with spurning from my wife, to zerbert my stomach. He would try, but his timing was off. Hilarious. You can’t buy laughter like that.

Isaiah can walk. He started about a week before his birthday. I didn’t blog about it. But man it was cool. You gotta move slow to move fast. He did. He just started out slow. Standing. Wobbling. One step. Two steps. If I wanted him to stop stepping now, it would be impossible. He’s so amazing. He’s too small to walk. Which makes it so cool when he does.

Annalisa and I have been exhausted lately. She works too hard. Hopefully we can sell the condo soon. We haven’t been involved with the church lately. I guess that happens when you start over new somewhere else.

I think I’m definitely happiest when I see Isaiah playing with other kids. Especially Lucia. I’m pretty sure they love each other and are pals.

We got pictures taken of Isaiah.

My fantasy football team won. We beat Squirtle Squad. My team never wins. So that’s pretty cool.

Chaos soccer made it to the semifinals the last two outdoor sessions. I’m incredibly proud. There’s nothing like going through a struggle like that together. I hope we get over the semi-finals hump. But top 4 out of about 20 teams isn’t bad. I do believe we have a groundwork to build on.

They’re building a Meijer across the street from where I work. It’s the first installment of 300 acres that is supposed to be beautiful. I hope it is.

We’re going to the Philippines next week for 3 weeks. Wedding and birthday party. I’ve never seen a cockfight. I hope I get to gamble.

I’ve been playing Magic with Kimmie and Ryan. Kimmie won’t like it that I’ve blogged about it. She has her own cards and wears a cape and everything. Ha. :)

I finally gave in and got lawn care. Apparently I’m not qualified to manage my own lawn. You know that feeling of accomplishment and success that comes with taking care of your lawn? I’ve never felt that. Everytime I’ve spent time managing my landscaping or cutting my lawn, all I feel is, “Damn. That was a waste of time. I’m just going to have to do this again next week.” We pay $18 a week now to have kids come in and cut the lawn. You might say, “Wow. That’s ridiculous. You’re throwing money out the window.” I might say, “Wow. I just bought more time to rest and not stress about what the neighbors think about my uncut lawn.”

I turned all my white socks pink by washing them with my brand new red garage rags.

I’m so proud of the wiring and lighting I did in the basement. I’m the man.

My poker game is slipping. Not that I had a significant one. But what little I had I’m losing.

Lately I’ve been wondering how lucky I really am with respect to casinos.

Timeless music:
- because music is personal, timeless music is defined by music that makes you feel the same as when you first felt it.
- Timeless music is music that if it dropped right now, it would still be a hit.

Stevie is timeless.

Farewell Bob.
Screw that. I hate you Bob. I’ve hated you for so long. All you ever did was make me feel bad about myself as if there weren’t a million other things for me to feel insecure about already. I can’t remember life without you and I can’t wait to experience it again.

A pouring out of sorts. That’s what happens if I’m not creative. Ever wonder if you were meant for more? Ever wonder if you were meant to contribute more to society than you have? What if you were meant for more and you haven’t been fulfilling your potential? What would happen then? Would you stagnate? Would you fall into a deep abyss of apathy and tv? What if you never do lose those last 10 pounds you’ve been meaning to? What if you never get on a good balanced diet? Would you just live life as you’ve been? For how long? What if you did accomplish your goals? Would you be happy then?

It’s never simple. You know those What Would Jesus Do bracelets? Those drove me nuts when they were popular. They still drive me nuts when I see them. They imply that it’s simple. It’s as if there is a crossroad, and you’re not sure which way to go, so you check your handy dandy W.W.J.D. bracelet and it points the right way so you smile and sigh and chuckle at your own silliness and go skipping along the right road content with yourself for providing yourself with a useful reminder of which road to take. It’s never like that. I would like to see Jesus in a real life predicament of my choosing. I would put Him in a position where He would have to choose between the feelings of His best friend, the feelings of His girlfriend, the feelings of His parents, and His co-worker’s feelings. In one action, the feelings of 2 of these people are going to get hurt or lead to pain and the other 2 are going to feel encouraged, and better about themselves. He would have to tell me what He would do and why. In one instance, why did He allow His girlfriend’s and best friend’s feelings to be hurt and why did He preserve His parent’s and co-worker’s feelings? In another instance why was it the opposite? How do you incorporate what you really think should be done, regardless of feelings? What if you did what you thought should be done, but now everyone thinks you’re cold and insensitive, leading them not to trust you with their emotions next time? So you did what you thought should be done, but now your future actions mean less now because others care less now. That’s real life. It’s never simple.

What Would Jesus Do in some of my real life predicaments? I… DON’T… FREAKING… KNOW.

So why wear a bracelet that only reminds me that the God I’m putting all my trust in is not being specific as to what I should do in especially difficult situations?

If the point of a bracelet is to remind myself of something, I would be more encouraged by Jeremiah 29:11.

“For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.”

Not calamity.
A future and a hope.

Many many blogworthy things

Chaos
Pistons
Laundry
Baby boy
Alvin
Chris
Marie
Upper Room Retreat

Chaos
The team has evolved. It’s always fun to try and keep a good thing the same. But you can’t always do that. I believe it is possible to keep a good philosophy. Good philosophies have longevity. We have a lot of new players. Great people type of players. Egos aren’t too big. It just feels different because it’s not the same personnel on the field as the beginning. I love playing with these guys and it’s awesome to see our growth. The level of soccer is so much higher than it used to be. We almost forfeited our last game because I communicated poorly the time schedule. But we picked up a few people and won 6-2. It’s actually been quite a year so far. The stats are a little bit cool. We’ve won 3 of the last 4 indoor championships. We’ve played every week since the first of the year and I think we’ve only lost 4 games max. We made it to the semi-finals last outdoor session. A tie for the deepest we’ve ever been in the playoffs. We lost 2-1 in the last 10 seconds. The Finals… right on the verge of destiny… speaking of….

Pistons
The team has evolved. It’s always fun to try and keep a good thing the same. But you can’t always do that. I believe it is possible to keep a good philosophy. Good philosophies have longevity.
I’m just so proud of them. They fought and they fought until the very end. They gave Detroit a very very special gift. Out of thirty teams, the Pistons gave their city something to cheer about deep into June. All the way to the point where they couldn’t give any more. They were inspiring and tough. What more are you looking for in a basketball team? Back-to-back championships? Whatever. They’ve given me back-to-back damn inspiring seasons. They make me want to be inspiring and tough. They make me want to fight. Fight! All the way to the end! Until the last whistle sounds. Until the last buzzer buzzes. We fight. We owe it to the integrity of the game, we strive for it so we can look ourselves in the mirror and say, “I gave it all I had.” If you can say that, smile and walk away, because not everyone can say that. From Rip, I learn that preparation is paramount and it’s important to master something and not just be okay at everything. From Billups, I learn calm under fire. From the team, I learn to win and lose with character and integrity. I hope a sleeping bear has awakened for next season.

Laundry
When do you do your laundry? Kimmie has a great idea. I’ll try and implement it.

Baby boy
Isaiah is a very little boy. He thinks the way you get off of couches is to dive headfirst, then somebody grabs your leg right before you hit the ground with your face, then you put out your arms and do a somersault to your back. That’s how you get off of a couch. Me, I just put my feet on the floor and stand up. Isaiah, he dives head first. He love to say, “bah”, and “mama” and “dada” could refer to anything. Sometimes mom, sometimes dad.

Alvin
He walked and is 5 credits from his bachelors in information technologies. When you’re the man, you’re the man. I look forward to hang with him more when he has less to do.

Chris
One of my best friends has left. He left last Sunday. Chris is one of the kindest, most caring, most amazing friends you could ever have. I cry when I think about him being gone. I’m so happy he’s living a dream, but I’m so so sad he’s left Michigan.

Marie
Marie is traveling down the path of being a Sister of Life. Check out sistersoflife.org.
This has been one of the most amazing internal discernment processes I’ve ever witnessed. Holy cow this is a big step and I think God is totally leading her where she’s supposed to be.

Upper Room Retreat
Ever since Isaiah was born, Annalisa and I haven’t been praying at night before we go to sleep. We said we would start again after the NBA playoffs. It just so happened the first annual Upper Room Retreat fell on the weekend after the last day of playoffs. Perfect. The experience was a wonderful journey into deeper relationship with Christ. We are using the retreat as a new jumping off point into strengthening our bond with Jesus. The retreat went as follows:
Upper Room Retreat
The Year of the Eucharist
Attendees – Items to Bring:
Eric – Materials for crafts, games, video camera *I brought the video camera but we didn’t actually take any video, I brought Boggle, Connect Four, Chess, Cranium, but we didn’t end up playing. We stamped candles for crafts and that went really well. A little complex though.
Annalisa – groceries, cooking supplies, smores, snacks * Annalisa did an amazing job of feeding us this weekend – breakfast, lunch, and dinner on Saturday with snacks worked out to about $19/person.
Tom – Beer bread for special dinner * This bread was delicious and Tom made it before dinner.
Aileen – Wine for special dinner *Two buck chuck from Aileen was awesome with the meal.
Gary – Projector, songs *G is always money when it comes to leading worship through song. Make sure to bring connectors for outlets with no ground.
Mads – music supplies * The Guevara’s car was packed with music equipment. Gonna get tougher with 2 kids.
J – bongos, percussion instruments for everyone. * J brought bongos, shakers, clavs, guairo…fun
Alvin – Beer, Mike’s, mixed drinks * Al got the Molson Ice for Chris, Mike’s for me… no mixed drinks
Chris - Digital Camera * Chris got some sweet shots I’m sure
Ariel – Footfall,, prayer copies, * Ariel did an awesome job printing the prayer copies to keep everyone on the same page for prayer.
Marie – Journals, * Marie brought folders for everyone to keep their loose papers and journals for everyone to take notes during their talks. Ariel and Marie also passed out beautiful crosses and keychains and medallions…
*People will be reimbursed for their costs… If you think it costs too much, talk to Eric or Ariel…
When:
Friday, June 23rd – Sunday, June 25th
Where:
Ann Arbor Retreat House - Marie, please provide directions.... *Bread of Life Retreat House – 4910 Dixboro Road, Ann Arbor, MI
Costs:
Venue - $25/person, $40/couple
Priest - $120 – Adoration, Confession, Mass, Benediction
Food - $19/person – Saturday: Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, Snacks
*~$400 donated
Bottom Line: Everyone pays $40 each

Agenda
Friday
7pm – Arrive at Retreat House – Pass out journals, start overall game, Liturgy of Hours * Didn’t have an overall game, started prayer well, Annalisa needed time to acclimate to kitchen, we had a packed blazer that barely fit everything
7:30pm – Dinner – Ariel * Ariel had family issues, Marie picked up Dominos
8:30pm – Talk 1 – Eric * This went okay. Need more facts and figures.
10pm – Quiet Time
10:30pm – Bonfire/beer/guitar/songs * Arrivals ran late, so dinner ran late, so my talk ran late, so this was skipped and Quiet time led right to sleep
Midnight – sleep early because big day tomorrow and we can stay up later tomorrow
Saturday
7am – Leaders Prayer/Morning Prayer * No air conditioning with 95 degree weather. Well water. Smart to bring fans.
7:30am – Breakfast/Rosary
8:30am – Praise and Worship/Talk 2 – Gary * Marie and Gary switched because her talk went better into Mass.
10am – Quiet Time
10:30am – Priest – Adoration/Confession/Mass/Benediction
Noon – Day Prayer/Lunch * they provided a nice hearty soup for lunch and Annalisa added extras like fruit and bread
1pm – Praise and Worship/Talk 3 – Marie * Gary talk. Mass ran late. So lunch ran late. So talk ran late, so there was not much quiet time and crafts started around 4:30pm.
2:30pm – Quiet Time
3pm – Crafts and Song * Hard to get people started on candles but went really well.
5pm – Start to Cook * Annalisa did a good job having lists of what she wanted pairs of people to do to get dinner ready. Unbelieveable spread. Paiella, Pork tenderloin with mango, white mousse with nutella in filo dough.
6pm – Dinner * Annalisa’s such a good cook she makes us look like good cooks. Like Bird and the Celtics.
7pm – Praise and Worship/Talk 4 – Ariel * since everything ran late I don’t think this started ‘til about 8:30pm
8:30pm – Quiet Time
9pm – Praise and Worship
9:30pm – Sharing/Bonfire/Games/Beer * lots of bugs, projected words on the house/didn’t work, sang praise songs around fire with G’s binders
??? – Sleep * slept around 2am?
Sunday
7:45am – Morning Prayer
8am – Continental Breakfast * bagels/fruit/granola bars/juice boxes
10:30am – Leave for Christ the King
Brunch and Bye-byes… (sniff)

I love when people blog.
I love when I can read people’s blogs.
I love blogging.

Big Things.

Ant always used to say this. I loved it when he said it and I loved when people would say it back to him. Big Things.

Expect them. Strive for them. Live them. Dream them.

Big Things.

Went to the dealership which I might never do again. Brakes were squeaking. Engine was overheating. Dome light switch doesn’t work well. Windshield wipers don’t work often. They quote me $2800 to fix it all because they have to change my upper and lower ball joints and other stuff. I hate them with all my being. Mostly I hate myself because I can’t fix it myself. I approve them to fix the intake and brakes. They fix the intake and tell me they’ve broken the water pump in the process. I told them to fix it. They told me to pay another $340. I told them, don’t touch a thing, I’m coming to pick it up, you rat bastards. (I didn’t say that part) I paid them about $900 to fix the intake and change the oil. They didn’t do the brakes because they’re lazy.

I have a friend. His name is Jon. People call him Buck. I don’t, I call him Jon. He is the smartest engineer I’ve ever met when it comes to practical applications of engineering knowledge on vehicles. Three days we worked. Every day from 4:30pm-9:30pm T,W,Th. We replaced the front upper and lower ball joints, the pitman arm, the idler arm, the brake pads. I understand now, spindle, rotor, caliper, upper and lower control arms, center link, half shaft. I understand Toe, but not so much Castor, or Camber. We replaced the water pump which was behind the fan. I made a tool from a Stanley Hinge to remove the nut that kept the fan in place. It was my engineering moment of glory. I didn’t get to hang with Annalisa and Isaiah that much those days though. Jon ended saving my family about $1300 to $1400 dollars. I couldn’t say thank you enough…. But we bought him a 700 chip poker set and vegas style poker table…. So I hope he likes that.

Chaos soccer is peaking. We have won 3 of the last 4 indoor championships. We’re 5-0-2. In outdoor right now… We’re in the quarter finals of the championship this Sunday. We have been winning. But we haven’t been fulfilling our potential or necessarily been playing The Right Way. This is dangerous because in soccer as well as in poker, if you win while practicing bad habits, these habits appear to be acceptable. But in the long run, bad habits will be the death of you in more important situations. It’s like Eddie Jones and Chris Webber. They’ll get you there, but it’s not like you can win the whole thing with them. Paolo had a sweet play on the right side…. He took a pass from Phil, deaked a defender… went up the sideline, deaked the defender again after catching up with him.. cut into the 18 and made a sweet pass to Alberto with a full head of steam…. Put us up 2-0… a backbreaker.… I think Chris Lum posted his first playoff shut out too….

Isaiah is pimp. He’s the best. He can clap and loves to climb me and take my glasses which he knows will trigger a tickle attack of Biblical proportions.

A friend of a friend was ordained a priest this past weekend. We performed the tinikling at his celebration luncheon. His name is Chaz. He’s the man. J, Ariel, Annalisa, and Marie danced. Me and Chris (2EC) clapped.

Chris will be leaving for California in 12 days. I was crying the other day in the car because I was going to miss him so much. Annalisa said it wasn’t like we weren’t going to see him again ever. I know. But still.

Work is going well. Learning a lot. Both my desks are messy.

Annalisa and I are going to try and make sure we keep dating. Saw Spanglish last night. It’s important to keep dating your spouse. So you can say, “Hey, I went on a date last night.” People can ask you what you did, and you can say, “I went out with my lover.” Or something like that.

Saw Wicked in Chicago. That was awesome.

Going to St. Anastasia now. Had a big falling out with the priest at St. Rene. Words were exchanged. Tears were shed.

Trying to record some songs with G.

I really believe in my heart that the Pistons can keep fighting.

Trying to evict my tenant…. Again. She’s a poopy head non-payer of rent.

Philippines in October.

Big Things.

It was an amazing night last night..... so I go into last night's soccer game thinking that the team that beat us last week, the Clash, is tied with the team we're playing today, the Lawyers, for first place....
but actually, the Clash had a bunch of losses.... we had two losses, and the Lawyers only have one loss.... we beat them earlier in the season because we played an almost perfect game....
I'm talking before hand, trying to get the team mentally prepared for the situation because in the past, we haven't done an awesome job of rising to the situation.
So they score 4 quick goals on us... we're down 4-0 just a few minutes into the first half.....they're pretty much dominating us. We're battling but on our heels. We stayed with it though.... Towards the end of the first half, we finally score... 4-1... score again... 4-2.... and then Allison scores with
like a minute left in the first half.... girls goals are worth 2... so that's 4-4 going into the half.... we're talking about how intensity is good.... how we haven't given up yet... how we're battling all the way to the end.... We talked about how we have to come out in the second half with the same energy...
So.... 5 seconds into the second half... they score.... 5-4....we're dejected but still fighting.... a few minutes later they get a breakaway with a girl at the end with a nice shot..... we're down 7-4 a third of the way through the second half.... we're battling..... we score 7-5.... we're passing better.... we score again 7-6... it's really intense now.....we've got a ton of momentum....I can't quite remember how it happened but I think they scored 2 quick ones, or a girl scored but we were down 9-6 about half way through..... we're playing sweet though.... we score 2 quick goals.... we're down 9-8..... it's a frenzy, people are screaming, the bench is jumping, people are supportive and subbing well.... finally a flurry in front of the other goal results in Anna (different Anna) putting it away.... we're up 10-9 with 6 minutes!.... but it doesn't feel like it because the other team is now frantic.... we're passing and trying to spread the field.... Allison steals the ball at the top..... the keeper misjudges her and she puts it left footed in the lower left..... we're up 12-9 with 3 minutes to go..... they're running around very hard... everyone's tired.... we go into ball control mode.... having chances to advance but pulling it back and building out of the defense..... we score again with 1:30 to go.... 13-9..... the buzzer sounds and we're all so happy.... we clapped and smiled and talked about the game and I went and got our championship t-shirts.... (if you tie for first, both teams get t-shirts)....
Drove home to catch the end of the game and the Pistons are methodically coaxing Reggie to move on to retirement..... earlier that night Annalisa cooked this awesome Pesto pasta dish, and Isaiah was all smiles and giggles for some reason..... it was awesome.....

Few things of note:
Connie Cheung has done an awesome job of stepping into a defense postion when we needed her to
Our normal keeper Kris Benda tore his miniscus and Philippe had to step in and did awesome
Calvin Cheung played sweet and was strong and intense and hopefully tired

BODY FAT
St. John’s
Age: 28
Sex: Male
Weight: 167 lbs
Height: 5’7”
Exercise Frequency: 1 or 2 times per week = 3
Exercise Intensity: Moderate aerobic activity sustained = 3
Exercise Session Length: 20-30 minutes = 3

A machine was placed on the center of my bicep to measure body fat.
Body Fat = 25.8% (Men: Fitness and Athletes=6-17%, Acceptable=18-25%, Needs Improvement= >26%, ranges provided by the American Council on Exercise)
Fat Weight: 43 lbs
Lean Weight: 124 lbs
Total Body Water: 43.24 liters, or 57%

Bottom Line: Need Increased Exercise

HAP
Body Fat = 21.5%
BMI = 26, (Normal = 19-25, Overweight = 25-29)

Bottom Line: Need to lower my weight to 153lbs to get my BMI to Normal 24. How do I lose 14lbs?

-

BLOOD PRESSURE
121/78

Systolic = 121
Normal=80-110
Prehypertensive=120-130
High=140-170
Urgent=180-200
Emergency=210

Diastolic = 78
Normal = 50-80
Prehypertensive=85
High=90-100
Urgent=110
Emergency=120-140

Bottom Line: The lady said I don't need to worry yet.
-

BLOOD SUGAR

Blood Sugar = 90 (Normal = 80-120)

Bottom Line: No problem.

Natural Vibe @ Gyspsy Café
4.16.00

In my short and humble other life as a singer in Natural Vibe, my favorite performance of ours was at this quaint little stage in the back of Gypsy Café in Downtown Ann Arbor. At this point in time, we were in a zone, we’d been together long enough for our harmonies to simmer and meld. Our band was outstanding and we were practicing 3 times a week for 3 hours each. Throw in Ryan on the sound board and Lynn and Steve on the violins and you’ve got a moment in time that was organic. The sun was shining but it wasn’t too hot. The winds supplied a slight breeze. The day was beautiful. It was Palm Sunday. Friends and family filled that small back room with support and love. The laughter, clapping, and woo’s in the recordings are just as audibly satisfying to my soul as the music.


Dream – To me, this was a significant song because it is actually the first song the guys let me help write. The piano was next to the large windows at the McKinley house where we all lived together. It really was my first taste of the song creation process. G played what he felt inside. Felipe sang what he felt inside. I was excited and nervous and unsure. They were really encouraging which resulted in my contribution, “Dream again, dream with me again.” Now that I think about it, I’m not surprised those are the words that came from me first. I consider myself a dreamer and encourager. Someone who has visions of how things should be. But dreams are no good alone. If we dream together, it makes it that much better.

Token – “It’s 5 in the morning and I can’t sleep.” I love this first line. This song had a cult following. I loved how Felipe wrote. It was dark with a sense of hope. Vibe sang this song to Annalisa for me as a favor at a FASA meeting because I wanted to get back together with her. Let’s just say that it worked out.

How Deep is Your Love? – A standard Bee Gees cover. Vibe’s first performance was at the NAC on South U. on 11.18.95. This song was part of that original set.

Do I Feel – Arguably one of the most recognizable Vibe originals. Sweet and sincere and smooth, Do I Feel captures the romantic in us who is giddy with the beginning stages of relationships. This song used to woo the womenz.

Freedom – Belt out a song in your car or in the shower. Don’t you sound good? Isn’t it a beautiful day? That’s how singing this song felt. I remember the practice when Dave (our bassist) came up with the Hey Jude overlay. Genius. So awesome. So fun. I loved that it felt like a family when the whole room was singing so loud.

Superstitious – Annalisa and I took a philosophy class. Our TA’s name was Steve Martin. Steve Martin was teaching me philosophy. Not surprising it was in his class I developed this intro that started a song and introduced our band. Funky. Our manager and percussionist, his name is J Soliman.

Wonderful Tonight – G always worked so hard to try and make my voice sound better. Since I didn’t have the strongest voice, he recommended a song that might suit me. Clapton doesn’t have an amazing voice either. But his songs are touching and beautiful. I always used to wish that my voice would develop to a point where I could really contribute to the group in the sense of being another excellent lead singer or soloist. I don’t feel I ever got to that point. I contributed in other ways, but not in arguably the most important way. For the longest time, my voice has been a piece of unfinished business.

Please Don’t Go - Ah, Boyz II Men. Cooleyhighharmony. Nothing like it. G said he really liked how powerful a song can be with one phrase repeated. This song always takes me back to those crazy grade school days of singing in my mom’s Chrysler New Yorker on the way to school. It also carries a certain desperation with it which is nice because life feels desperate sometimes.

Intermission

Smooth - One thing I can remember about Smooth is performing it at Dance Marathon. It was cool to get the guiro man Chris Lum in there too. Um, sexy Rex is in rare form on this track too. It felt good to be part of something that rocked.

Angel - If you listen closely, you can actually hear the manifestation of a dog without a bone. I’m not sure how much people knew that G and Felipe were influenced a lot by the old big hair rock ballads. I love singing this song.

I Wander
Magical - Okay, these renditions of I Wander and Magical might be the most beautiful musical performances I’ve ever been a part of . I think G got it in his head that we needed strings for these songs. Madeleine, his wife now and girlfriend at the time, is also a gifted strings composer. She banged out these ridiculously gorgeous arrangements. Now all we needed were strings. Fortunately, Lynn Chen and Steve Kang were both first chair violinists in high school. Lynn is this beautiful talented Taiwanese movie nut who was at the heart of Groove Mode Squad when hip-hop was building on campus. Steve is a fellow founder of FunKtion with insane vocal and arranging talent that he brought to 58 Greene. He is in Boston now getting a degree from Berkley school of music. Lynn graduated B-School and is killing now in marketing for Fiji water. Never mind all that though. That day they were instruments in a beautiful and poignant soundtrack symphony that helped tell the story of lost and enchanting love.

If I Could Change the World - One time I heard somebody say to Gary, “Nobody wakes up every day wanting to be a pioneer.” Gary replied, “I do.” He said it with such simplicity that I actually believed him. Can you imagine waking up every day believing you could actually change the world for the better? I can.

Love - Another song with a secret cult following. The truth is, this song might never be officially recorded with the voices and instruments that the creators envisioned. This makes some people sad. I’m just glad we had this recording.

One More Day - People thought that this medley is actually how the original song went. It’s actually a joint track of New Edition’s One More Day and Human League’s I’m Only Human. G did such a good job melding the two together seamlessly, it’s as if it were as it should have always been. I also love how the end of the song reminds humans that failure is part of the process of success.

Lord I’ve Come - We brought out palms and sang what every heart wants to sing on Palm Sunday. A beautiful ending to a beautiful moment in time.

Just a few pix.

www.humanamoeba.com/Isaiah_Birthday
www.humanamoeba.com/Isaiah2-2
www.humanamoeba.com/IsaiahWeeks_2_and_3_web
www.humanamoeba.com/Isaiah_4-8weeks_web
www.humanamoeba.com/Isaiah_11_weeks_web
www.humanamoeba.com/Isaiah_9-10_weeks_web
www.humanamoeba.com/Isaiah_3_months_web
www.humanamoeba.com/Isaiah_4_months_web
www.humanamoeba.com/Isaiah_5_months_web
www.humanamoeba.com/Isaiah_6-7_months_web
www.humanamoeba.com/Isaiah_8_months_web

www.jameswang.com/Isaiah

Hahahaaaa!!!

My servers changed on me and so I could not post.... but now I can!

Human Amoeba cannot be stopped!

Little fingers and toes,
little eyes, little nose,
tiny bum, with a tummy so round,
little babbles and coos,
lots of diapers and drool,
and even more hugs, and 'I love you's'

I love you my buddy, my baby, my boy,
my son who just wiggles and giggles with joy,
from raspberry kisses and tickle attacks,
who loves to cuddle but hates to take naps?

Isaiah. :)

Wedding CD’s Table of Contents

Disc 1 – Dinner – Frank Sinatra/Harry Connick Jr.
Harry Connick Jr. – You Didn’t Know Me When
Harry Connick Jr. – Candy Man
Harry Connick Jr. – Never Fully Dressed Without A Smile
Harry Connick Jr. – If I Could Give You More
Harry Connick Jr. – She Belongs To Me
Harry Connick Jr. – With Imagination
Frank Sinatra – I’ve Got You Under My Skin
Frank Sinatra – As Time Goes By
Frank Sinatra – Come Fly With Me
Frank Sinatra – Fly Me To The Moon
Frank Sinatra – Heaven
Frank Sinatra – Summer Wind
Frank Sinatra – Swing On A Star
Frank Sinatra – The Way You Look Tonight

Disc 2 – Dinner – Norah Jones/Kai
Norah Jones – Turn Me On
Norah Jones – Come Away With Me
Norah Jones – Don’t Know Why I Didn’t Come
Norah Jones – Feeling The Same Way All Over Again
Norah Jones – Painter Song
Norah Jones – Nearness Of You
Kai – Will You Still Love Me
Kai – Million More
Kai – Count On My Love
Kai – Heart To Heart
Kai – All Of My Life
Kai – Say You’ll Stay
Kai – The Promise

Disc 3 – Dinner – Take 6/Nichole Nordeman/Natural Vibe/Lauryn Hill/Andrew Peterson
Take 6 – Over The Hill Is Home
Take 6 – Few More Miles To Go
Nichole Nordeman – Legacy
Nichole Nordeman – Gratitude
Nichole Nordeman – Healed
Nichole Nordeman – I Am
Natural Vibe @ Gypsy – Magical
Natural Vibe CD – Do I Feel
Natural Vibe CD – I Wander
Natural Vibe @ Gypsy – I Wander
Natural Vibe CD – Magical
Lauryn Hill – Tell Him
Lauryn Hill – Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You
Lauryn Hill – His Eye Is On The Sparrow
Andrew Peterson – Family Man

Disc 4 – Dinner – Misc.
98° - I Do Cherish You
Baby Face – Every Time I Close My Eyes
Til There Was You
Dream A Little Dream
Ben E. King - Stand By Me
Boyz II Men – On Bended Knee
Brian McKnight – Still In Love With You
Bryan Adams – Everything I Do I Do It For You
Color Me Badd – Close To Heaven
Hold Me Close
Green Day – Time Of Your Life
Hall & Oates – Do It For Love
Jacy Velasquez – On My Knees
Jars of Clay – Love Song For A Savior
Kai – Million More
Kai – The Promise

Disc 5 – Dinner – Misc.
Madonna – Cherish
Brian McKnight & Mariah Carey – Whenever You Call
Mercy Me – I Can Only Imagine
Ewan McGregor & Nicole Kidman – Come What May
New Edition – Still In Love
Nichole Nordeman – Every Season
Shania Twain – From This Moment
Stevie Wonder Live – Overjoyed
Take 6 – Over The Hill Is Home
Lauryn Hill – Killing Me Softly
Miss Saigon – Last Night Of The World
The Supremes – You Can’t Hurry Love
The Temptations – My Girl

Disc 6 – Dance – Old Skool
Young MC – Bust A Move
Will Smith – Summer Time
Diggable Planets – Cool Like Dat
Bel Biv Devoe – Poison
Black Sheep – Choice Is Yours
Brandy & Heavy D – Rock With You Remix
Aretha Franklin – Respect
September
Jackson 5 – I Want You Back
Jungle Boogie
Michael Jackson – Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough
Paperboy – Ditty
Stevie Wonder – Signed, Sealed, Delivered

Disc 7 – Dance – Janet/Outkast/Performances
Janet – All For You
Janet – Someone To Call My Lover
Janet – That’s The Way Love Goes
Janet – Together Again
Outkast – So Fresh, So Clean
FunKtion Performance – Encompass 1999
Outkast – B.O.B.
Outkast – Rosa Parks
Performance - Groove Culture
FunKtion Performance – Encompass 2000
Performance - Booyah Tribe

Disc 8 – Dance – Misc. Hip Hop
Usher – U Remind Me
Born Jamericans – Send U My Love
Craig David – Fill Me In
Dream – This Is Me Remix
Janet – All For You
Koffee Brown – Afterparty
Lauryn Hill – Doo Wop
Lionel Richie – All Night Long
Missy Elliot – Hot Boyz
Big Poppa – One More Chance
NSYNC – Pop
Black Eyed Peas – Joints and Jams
Wyclef – Maria Maria – BAD, CUT OFF AT END
Wyclef – Stayin’ Alive
Young MC – Bust A Move

Disc 9 – Dance – 80’s
Erasure – Forever Young
When In Rome – Living In Oblivion
The Cure – Friday I’m In Love
The Cure – Just Like Heaven
El De Barge – Rhythm Of The Night
Pet Shop Boys – Just Can’t Get Enough
Pet Shop Boys – Strange Love
Erasure – A Little Respect
Erasure – Oh L’Amour
Erasure – Take A Chance
Don’t You Want Me Baby
Julie Brown – Head To Toe
Lost In Emotion
Poison – Nothin’ But A Good Time
Phil Collins – Every Little Thing
Rob Base – It Takes Two
Soft Cell – Tainted Love

Disc 10 – Dance – 90’s
Young MC – Bust A Move
Bel Biv Devoe – Poison
Heaven Is A Place On Earth
Born Jamericans – Send U My Love
Coolio – Fantastic Voyage
DeLite – Groove Is In The Heart
Will Smith – Summer Time
House Of Pain – Jump Around
Luther Vandross & Janet – The Best Things In Life Are Free
Mariah Carey – Fantasy Remix
Mase – Bad Boy
MC Breed – Ain’t No Future In Your Frontin’
Prince – Kiss
Prince – The Look
Tag Team – Whoomp There It Is

Disc 11 – Dance – Parents Music
Santana – Smooth
Venga Boys – Sha la la la la
Ti Se Ray
Todo Todo
ABBA – Dancing Queen
Backstreet Boys – Everybody
Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy
Sha ma la ma ding dong
Swing The Mood Mix
Mambo #5
Dancing In The Streets
Ricky Martin – Go Go Go
Wyclef & Santana – Maria Maria

Disc 12 – Dance – Mix Stuff
Pinay – Everything Remix
Madonna – Music
Justin Timberlake – Like I Love You
SWV-Michael Jackson – Human Nature Remix
Toni Tone Tony – If I Had No Loot
Usher – You Don’t Have To Call
Refugee All Stars – Stayin’ Alive
Zhane – Hey Mr. DJ
Boy George – Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?
Beastie Boys – Brass Monkey
Boy George – Karma Chameleon
Abra Cadabra – You Spin Me Right Round
Debbie Gibson – Debbie Gibson
Vacation
Never Enough

This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...

We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again

And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free, and ...

We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
(There's a place by God's grace)
There's a place where we'll see your face again

We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true, so ...

We wait with hope
And we ache with hope
We hold on with hope
We let go with hope

What do I want?

I attended a retirement gathering for a guy who spent 39.5 years at General Motors.

39.5 years
52 weeks a year
5 days a week
8 hours a day.

That’s 82,160 hours spent at work.

If I spend 82,000 hours doing anything, it better be for something worthwhile.
I better be able to look back on those hours and say, “That was definitely worth it.”

Our lives are defined by the choices we make. What choices am I making?

What if the next time I blink, I’m 62 years old, and I’m saying, “Maybe I should have switched careers.” Or “I wish I had taken more chances in life.”

Because you know, it goes by in a blink.

Blink.

Gone.

Pencil marks on a wall I wasn't always this tall,
You scattered some monsters from beneath my bed,
You watched my team win, You watched my team lose,
You watched when my bicycle went down again,

And When I was weak unable to speak,
still I could call You by name,
and I said “Elbow healer, Superhero,come if You can,”
and You said “I Am”

Only 16, life is so mean,
what kind of curfew is at ten PM
You saw my mistakes, You watched my heart break
Heard when I swore I’d never love again

When I was weak, unable to speak,
still I could call You by name,
and I said “Heart-ache Healer, Secret-keeper,be my Best Friend”
and You said “I Am”

You saw me wear white, by pale candlelight,
I said forever to what lies ahead two kids and a dream,
with kids that can scream too much it might seem when it’s two AM

when I am weak, unable to speak, still I will call You by name.
“Oh Shepherd, Savior, Pasture-maker,hold on to my hand,”
and You say “I Am.”

The winds of change,
And circumstance blow in and all around
us so we find a foothold that’s familiar,
And bless the moments that we feel You nearer Life had begun,
I was woven and spun,
You let the angels dance around the throne,
who can say when,
But they’ll dance again, when I am free and finally headed home

I will be weak, unable to speak,
still I will call You by name
“Creator, Maker, Life-sustainer,Comforter, Healer, My Redeemer,Lord and King, Beginning andthe End, I Am, yes, I Am.”

315,360,000 seconds ago Annalisa and I kissed for the first time.
Ten years ago.
She was 15.
I was 18.
16,329,600 seconds ago Isaiah was born.
If I live to 77.6 years old,
I have 1,564,185,600 seconds more to live.
1,564,185,600
1,564,185,599
1,564,185,598
1,564,185,597
1,564,185,596...
Go Eric Go.

There are things that people have dealt with their whole lives.
Struggles that have become so engrained into their thoughts, they can’t remember how life was without this particular difficulty.
They walk around dealing with it.
Hope is dead.

But one day someone says something, someone does something to trigger…
the possibility of hope.

Hope of a life without that particular struggle. Hope of a life without the chronic pain.
Hope.

The emotional swing is enormous. We begin to dream. Oh the things I’ll do if only I can finally be rid of it. The moments to come change us.

If there was no hope, there would be no inkling of expectation. If there’s no expectation, there’s no let down. If there’s no let down….. ahhh, the sweet comfort of the habitual life.

What if? is almost always more fun to ponder than What Is.

Ev’ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in

-----------------

I’m overcome.
You know that shiver that goes through you when you witness something amazing. Witness might not be the word. Experience. When you experience something amazing. The electric kiss. That movie moment. The song lyric that someone pulled from the truths hidden deep inside your heart.
It’s that shiver. Your breath catches. Possibility runs free. It inspires and awes. It makes you want to create. It make you want to share with someone what you experienced. It’s really being touched.

On a completely unrelated note, ahem, I’ve been listening to the Wicked musical all day. Bought it for Annalisa for Valentine’s day.

We’re going to watch it at the Ford Center of Performing arts on May 8th.
Come with us.
Experience.

Easter Egg Hunters:

Established 2.2kg

Hello.

Happy Belated Paczki Day.

It's spelled P-a-c-z-k-i.

but the a-c-z is pronounced "oonch"

?!?!

Spring Hill 2005.

25 kids.
7 counselors.

Chad, Zack, Melissa, Kaydee, Evan, and Mike were in my rented red Montana.

Brett Ray was the best speaker I've ever heard.
Daniel's Window rocked the whole weekend.

743 acres of insane Christian Retreating. It was rejuvenating.
Working with kids again. Sharing the Good News.

We went horseback riding. (my horse's name was Skats...I asked him his story, he was actually King Skats ruler of all the meadowlands but he's called Crazy King Skats because he made all his followers jump off a cliff and that's why he was banished to the Spring Hills Camp riding horse program.)
We did the climbing wall and I'm oh so very old.
We went tubing down the mountain into lakes of ice.
We played paintball and dived and screamed.
We lifted our hands as if touch the One who gave us breath.
We felt the grace and love of Him who took our death.
We experienced God and I saw Him in the stars.

Have you ever felt like you had a purpose and were actually fulfilling it?
It wasn't one of those, I know I'm on this earth to do something big I just don't know what it is, kind of deals.
It was, I'm on this earth for a specific reason and I just did it and I'm still doing it.
I don't wanna be just an ant.


Ants Marching
he wakes up in the morning
does his teeth bite to eat and he's rolling
never changes a thing
the week ends the week begins
she thinks, we look at each other
wondering what the other is thinking
but we never say a thing
these crimes between us grow deeper
goes to visit his mommy
she feeds him well his concern
she forgets them
and remembers being small
playing under the table and dreaming
take these chances
place them in a box until a quieter time
lights down, you up and die

driving in on this highway
all these cars and upon the sidewalk
people in every direction
no words exchanged
no time to exchange and all the little ants are marching
red and black antennas waving
they all do it the same
they all do it the same way candyman teasing the thoughts of a
sweet tooth tortured by the weight loss
programs cutting the corners
loose end, loose end, cut, cuton the fence, could not to offend
cut, cut, cut, cut
take these chances
place them in a box until a quieter time
lights down, you up and die

Pained. Sad. Aloof. Apathetic. Broken. Hopeless. Desensitized. Uncertain. Aware. Confused. Pensive. Bemused. Introspective. On the brink.

These are all words to describe how I felt when I watched Garden State. It’s rare when a movie can capture the pain of an entire generation.

“What do we do now?”

Isn’t that the question? Isn’t that always and often the question?

“I don’t know.”

This is the answer.

Impressed. Disturbed. Scared. Dangerous. Fearful. Amazed.

These describe how I felt when I watched Closer.

Closer. I asked a good friend of mine if he thought he had a lot of close friends and he told me, “not nearly as many as they think.” It’s very rare when you’re as close as you think you are.

In my mind there’s an obvious tie between Closer and Garden State other than a talented actress. The human condition of real pain is portrayed well in both. Machiavellian planning and awkward life lead to pain. Pain so deep you can’t describe it. Pain in the pit of your stomach. It doesn’t just exist because that implies a beginning and an end. It emits. It dwells. It consumes.
When people who have pain witness similar pain the world gets a millimeter smaller.

Sheer terror.
I know it.
A few nights ago I woke to find my son barely able to breathe. Two ER’s later I know words like Bronchialitis, Croupe, RSV, nebulizer, ampule, amoxicillin, and albuterol.
I haven’t cried yet. I might. That was really scary.
Being a parent is so difficult. I can already feel the frustration of the future when Isaiah rebels. But today I hug him tight because he can’t walk away yet. Hugs for me and for him and for me.

Being a landlord is very difficult.
When they’re late for their rent you should deliver a 7 day notice immediately. Once the 7 days is up, file a court case. The court date will be in about a week and will cost about $135. If the tenant doesn’t show up you get a default judgement. If the tenant doesn’t pay in 10 days, you move forward with the eviction process. Hopefully none of this happens during the holiday season so time is not taken away from your family during an important time of the year.

Finished the FunKtion DVD. There are only 40. You should get one. It’s dope and I worked so hard on it.

Entrepreneur.

Encore. I want more.

Feb. 4-6th. Spring Hill. Taking ACCESS there and I’m going as a counselor.
Change lives.

Buckle my seat belt, close drawers, and roll up diapers for Annalisa.

If Jesus was a little boy and sat on Santa's lap, what would he ask for?

There’s so much I should have been blogging about but haven’t been.
Like the time I walked into work and I felt this tickle in my butt. I went so far as to slap my butt cuz I thought someone grabbed me. Then I walked about 20 feet and I felt a tickle behind my knee. I was like whoa. Then I felt a tickle in my calf. And it all clicked. The boxers I wore 2 days before were still there and now worming their way out hoping to escape and humiliate me on my walk in to work. What was I to do? It was already at my calf. I tried to hurry up and maybe I could make it to the bathroom… NO! The boxers had carefully timed their escape to eliminate that option. I was like, ‘I will not be bettered by 2 day old boxers’. So I took about 10 more steps and they fell to my ankle…. I knelt to tie my shoe and put my messenger bag down strategically. Tied my shoe. Pulled out my boxers. Put them in my bag.

Holy Canoli. I was shaking.

I should also blog about the pain of fixing furnaces and humidifiers.
I should blog about the car accident Annalisa got in.
I should blog about our poopy tenant and what real trust in God is.
I should blog about how painful Christianity can be and whether or not you should turn around and inform the store that just charged you for 700 poker chips that you actually purchased 1400 poker chips and they made a $60 mistake.
I should blog about Isaiah and how dope he looks in my hat.
I should blog about Finding Neverland and how I cried and cried. It was a release of some kind. Can’t put my finger on it. There’s just some sorts of human pain that I really connect with. I’ve been slightly acute to it lately, but I’ve noticed there is definitely a hole in my soul that was burned there by my experiences. It’s where a part of my innocence used to live and a part of my faith in others.

I should blog about just how bad my fantasy football team is.

Guns Blazing.
That’s me in 2005. Comin’ out guns blazing. The odds are stacked against you. You’re backed into a corner. It’s just you and your small gang. Greed and fear and pain and doubt and lust and apathy are bearing down. They have got bigger guns. They’ve got more guns. Sometimes, you just gotta buckle down, say screw it, let out some kind of primal yell and come out Guns Blazing. This is the time. Advent means coming or arrival and it represents a time of preparation for something big. The advent of Christ for example. It’s funny to me how so many atheists and agnostics still participate in Christmas when they don’t believe in the events or truths behind the holiday. You’d think they would denounce it completely and be free of the hassle. But nope. They’re right in the thick of things, holding secular traditions more sacred than religious people hold real traditions.

FYI.
“All this isn't to say that Coca-Cola didn't have anything to do with cementing that image of Santa Claus in the public consciousness. The Santa image may have been standardized before Coca-Cola adopted it for their advertisements, but Coca-Cola had a great deal to do with establishing Santa Claus as a ubiquitous Christmas figure in America at a time when the holiday was still making the transition from a religious observance to a largely secular and highly commercial celebration. In an era before color television (or commercial television of any kind), color films, and the widespread use of color in newspapers, it was Coca-Cola's magazine advertisements, billboards, and point-of-sale store displays that exposed nearly everyone in America to the modern Santa Claus image. Coca-Cola certainly helped make Santa Claus one of the most popular men in America, but they didn't invent him.”

Anyways,
Guns Blazing.
Lots of Bible reading. Lots of exercising. Lots of time with family. Lots of writing. Lots of holding myself and friends accountable. Lots of being in service to God and others. Lots of one touches, good passing, excellent defense, and beautiful goals. Line ‘em up. Shoot ‘em down.

By the way, New Years is gonna be awesome. I’m so excited. We’re having a Casino night at Ryan’s. He built a roulette table, a craps table, and a poker table. Holy wow it’s gonna be fun.

Hmmm.

Question:
When was the last time your mother said, “I am so proud of you.”
This statement always brings tears to my eyes.
“I have never been more proud of you.”
“You make me so proud.”
There’s a desert in all of us. When these words are spoken to us by our mothers, it’s as if the little boy that lives in that desert gets a glass of water. But the boy doesn’t recognize it when he sees it. It’s as if he hasn’t had water for so long, and that he’s learned how to live without it for so long, that he forgot he ever needed it. He learns all over again how much more there is to the world with the liquid that brings life. That recognition of old knowledge triggers emotions so deep. Hope for that glass of water died a long time ago. That hope is buried far beneath the sand. But the water is here, now, given freely because it can’t be requested. The boy cries and cries. He chooses not to suppress this release because he couldn’t if he wanted to.

The truth is, boys become men. Men become real. The desert remains. I know what it’s like to forget to hope. So I reach out.

Isaiah, I am just so proud of you.

I don’t think I’ll have to remind your mother to tell you, but I’ll try if you look a little thirsty.

Do you wanna be attractive?

Use these words in conversations with people who you want to find you attractive.

Inspiring.
Faith.
Strength.
Believe.
Motivate.
Intellectual.
Sense of self.
Think.
Visualize.
Execute.
Internalize.
Passion.
Vision.
Love.
Family.
Define.

Can you think of any words that when people use them in conversations, increase your impression of them as a whole, not just on a vocabulary level?

It's enough to drive a man crazy,
It'll break a man's faith,
It's enough to make him wonder,
If he's ever been sane,
when he's bleeding for comfort,
from Thy staff and Thy rod,
and the Heaven's only answer is the silence of God

and it'll shake a man's timbers when he loses his heart,
when he has to remember what broke him apart,
this yoke may be easy but this burden is not,
when the crying fields are frozen by the silence of God

and if a man has got to listen to the voices of the mob,
who are reeling in the thros of all the happiness they've got,
when they tell you all their troubles have been nailed up to that cross,
what about the times when even followers get lost?
cuz we all get lost sometimes

there's a statue of Jesus in monastary knoll,
in the hills of Kentucky all quiet and cold,
He's kneeling in the garden as silent as a stone,
and all His friends are sleeping and He's weeping all alone,

and the man of all sorrows, He never forgot
what sorrow is carried by the hearts that He bought,
so when the questions dissolve into the silence of God,
the aching may remain,
but the breaking does not.

The aching may remain,
but the breaking does not,
in the holy lonesome echo,
of the silence of God.

- The Silence of God, Andrew Peterson

Ha ha haaa
Ho ho hooo
And a couple of tra la laaaas....
That's how Isaiah plays all daaaaay...
In the merry ol' land of Oz....

He gets up at 12 and starts to work at 1....
takes an hour for lunch and then at 2 he's done.... jolly good fuuunnn..

Ha ha haaaHo ho hoooAnd a couple of la de daaaas....That's how Isaiah plays all daaaaay...In the merry ol' land of Oz....

---------
That's what I sing to him when he's crazy. So I sing it all the time.
I signed up for a ton more life insurance... cuz if I die, I want Annalisa to be able to pay for the house and send Isaiah to college. I was working under the assumption that he would piss away as much money as I did.

As expected around election time, I’ve been having a bunch of discussions about life and love. Here’s one:

I felt something inside me shift when I saw Annalisa cross that cafeteria floor some 9 years ago... I called it love at first sight because the emotion was so compelling.... Now I know what real love is.... real love is standing next to your partner when the times get tough.... real love is personal sacrifice for the better of the union.... real love is enduring through the pain and believing in
each other and brighter days.... So now, I wouldn't call what I felt in the beginning "love at first sight"... I would call it infatuation or attraction at first sight... but not love... because I didn't think, "You know, when times get tough, I'm gonna stand by that girl.... When she hurts me, I'm gonna stick it through..."

Anyways… that’s a small sample of stuff going on…
Here’s some new pix… I can’t wait ‘til I get the ones up of Isaiah’s costume…

I still can’t eat chocolate and fries. I can’t wait.
I’m so proud of Chaos though. They really played well this last session.

Do NOT mess around.

R. Kelly
Happy People/U Saved Me

Is the hottest album to drop in 2004.
Soooo chill.

Happy People Baby.

Very tired...

Come and visit because it helps give me and Annalisa energy.... and Isaiah is much quieter around company....
Look how many pictures there are of him crying with people over....

I don't know how to say thanks to the people who sent flowers and cookies.... I need to find a way..... Gift giving is so not my love language.. but I definitely have to learn.....
Thank you....

8 lbs 6 oz!!!
That's how much he weighs now!
That's a 21% increase in weight from when he started!
21%!!!!!
I weigh 155 now. 21% of 155 is 32 lbs.
So that means in two weeks I would weigh 187 lbs. if I grew at Isaiah's rate.
He's huge!
I'm huge! I've been binging on chocolate and fries ever since Isaiah was born because I gave them up 'til then.
I'm giving them up again until Chaos wins another soccer indoor or outdoor championship.
Go Chaos! Help a coach out!
Go Human Amoebas! The best Fantasy Football team ever!
Go Lions!
Go Pistons!
Go Jedis!

I'm so tired!
Go Isaiah! Sleep! Sleep! Sleep!

Ryan and Lorie's wedding ruled! The most beautiful venue I've ever been to ever ever. It was awesome how God dimmed the lights from blue to gray to black and you could just sit there and watch.
Go Fiji! (That's where they are now)
Go work! (me, that is)

I'm in a huge creative burst right now with Isaiah being here to inspire me...

My two big songs I'm working on right now are:
1. Time For Cuddle Ducks
2. Don't Eat the Hand You Pee On

Should be big hits in Europe.

Isaiah is really good at playing games already. He likes:
Pee and/or Poop After Daddy or Mommy Changes Me

Fun for the whole family! Move over Monopoly!

More pix.
But this one kills me. ha!

I love him!

A little late, but here’s the rundown

12:00pm – Called doctor and he said to come into his office.
12:15pm – dropped of Kill Bill 2 and replaced it with The Rundown…
12:30pm – At the doctors….. they hooked Annalisa up to measure the baby’s heart rate and length between contractions and duration…. Some contractions were 5 minutes apart and lasted for a minute some were 15min. apart…
1:30pm – got sent home and told to call again when the contractions were under 5 minutes apart for more than an hour.
3:44pm – contractions have gotten much stronger and more painful…. They were about four to four and half minutes apart, for one to one and a half minutes for over an hour…
Ready to leave home…
4:30pm – at hospital in triage (interim room, where they monitor vitals and contractions but they don’t give you an official room yet)…. She is at 2cm and 80%…
5pm – they said to monitor for a half hour… sent lola home because it could still be a while…
5:30pm – they said to start walking around because if her labor did not progress (cervix dilated more), they would send us home ‘til it did…. Started walking around… did NOT want to be sent home….
6:30pm – Done walking around… pain is wow…. She could barely talk when a contraction came… much more painful than anticipated…. Fortunately it worked and she was dilated to 3cm… we were admitted into a nice big room…
6:45pm – dilated to 4cm…. Eric runs to get pizza and cookie… makes phone calls…
7pm – epidural put in…. Eric reads Pistons mag to Annalisa… Catheter introduced to keep bladder empty…. Bladder should be empty to get baby by easier…
NOTE: an epidural is administered by putting a hole in your lower back in between the vertebrae, a tiny tube is placed in the hole and the tube is taped to the back… a large syringe attached to a machine administers some anesthetic at a rate of 10mL per hour….
This was the changing point of the whole labor, before this point Annalisa was in an unbelievable amount of pain, afterwards, she was smiling and laughing and free from and discomfort from the contractions…
8pm – all is well…
8:40pm – broke bag of waters!
9:30pm – 5-6cm dilated
10:30pm – 6-7cm dilated
11pm – Pitosin introduced intravenously… the contractions were not strong enough it seems and the Pitosin helps the contractions get stronger…
12:00am – 7-8cm dilated…My parents stopped by…. Hung out for a bit…. Took off…. Annalisa was smiling, laughing, napping, answering phone calls… no problem… epidural rules…
2:20am – not going so great… still at 8cm…. Decided to change positions…. Now she is kneeling over bean bag with butt in the air…. More pressure on bottom developing
3am – position change working, but strenuous… back to lying on back…
5am – 10cm dilated! Started pushing! Eric holds left leg… Annalisa’s mom hold right leg…. Nurses proclaim Annalisa is amazing pusher baby coming out super fast…. 3 big pushes while nurse counts to ten for each push for each contraction…. That is, 3 pushes per contraction which is every 2 minutes now for the duration of a minute or so…
5:46am – Isaiah Ambrosio Agustin is born… 6lb 15oz, 20in., 8/20/04
Annalisa’s mom almost faints… I looked up after Isaiah was born and she was on the ground with a nurse fanning her and asking her to get liquids… Isaiah whisked to warmer…. I’m still with Annalisa…. Should I go to the baby or stay with Annalisa? Tough call… stayed with Annalisa… placenta came a little bit later… took about 10 min though… doctor’s working on Annalisa…. Slight tearing… Can’t tell if Isaiah is cute because we’re the parents and we love him no matter what or if he’s actually really cute….

6-7:45am – Annalisa trying to breastfeed baby..
8am – Annalisa in shower…. She rocked…. I cannot believe how strong she is…

Here are some pix…
Thanks for the thoughts, prayers, phone calls, and love…. Family is doing great….

11:45am - contractions are 5-6min apart lasting for 45-52sec...
called nurses... they said that we should come in when it's been like this for an hour...

6:30am - Contractions started says Annalisa
8am - Eric wakes up Annalisa says contractions are about 20 min. apart
8:30am - Eric gets into work
9am - Eric comes home
10:30am - Contractions still 20 min apart.

We're going in when contractions get 5 min. apart!
Thoughts and prayers appreciated!

Normally after such a long hiatus, I would try and follow up with a well thought out blog with coherency and depth.
yawn.
Did you know who I used to be?I used to be darn interesting. Lock me in a room with you and I could entertain you for quite a while. Or at least I would nod and smile while you inevitably share all your life experiences and secrets with me. Darn interesting stuff.
I always wonder about people who think and think but never reach a conclusion. As if thinking were the point and not the medium. Is the point in the final picture or in the act of painting? We know it’s both. But what if you just kept painting with no vision or intent of a final picture?
I like reaching conclusions especially when I'm thinking about you and your mannerisms/style/inflection/eyes/bodylanguage/fantasyfootballpicks. So I'm gonna be a dad.Your interest in this fact is directly related to the magnitude of our friendship.I've learned that a lot of people basically shut down after asking the question, "Are you excited?"You can actually hear the hard drive spinning down.What do they care if I'm excited? If you're going to ask me, learn to pretend like you care.
Whoa.
I'm getting kinda tactless and insensitive. Reminiscent.
-----
Melancholy.Indifferent.Apathetic. Peaceful.Patient.Pensive. Fleeting emotions.

I miss being able to write. I still can, it’s just hard to make time. Stupid excuse to not use a gift. I’m filled with them.I haven’t been running.I haven’t been writing. I’ve been thinking.I’ve been hoping.I’ve been waiting.

On a silly note.
My friend and I at work are having a competition.We each have an hour to take a studio surface and model in 3d anything we want to make it into a fantastic killing machine. We then have a half hour to put together the powerpoint to present to the judges. Two other of my friends.Judging criteria:
A) Vehicle Attributes
1) Overall Destructiveness (20)
2) Practicality (30)
3) Feasibility (20)
4) Reliability (10)
5) Imagination (20)
6) Creative Use of Plague Infested Chickens (15)
B) Presentation
1) Purpose Clearly Presented (35)
2) Visually Appealing (35)
3) Informative (30)

I had some small input into the criteria. I’m going to get 15 point for sure.
----
I got really emotional the other day just thinking. I think I'm going insane.
What got me so messed up was a story of a 10 year old girl's blind faith and innocence.
She was praying.
Somewhere inside her innocent and bluntly truthful prayer struck a chord.
You see a lot of times I really don’t think there is anything else I can do. Fear mixed with uncertainty mixed with insecurity. That’s a painful and humbling place for me to be. In the end, all you can do is ask.
My request is slightly different from hers but just as sincere.

I want Isaiah to be healthy.
Dear God, please let Isaiah be healthy.
And if he’s not, please give us the strength to endure.

Sometimes I just get so scared.

Hi.
I have the next two weeks off of work.
Last year I went fishing with G and Mads and went to San Diego for a pseudo bachelor week.
This year? Who knows?
Wow I'm boring. Maybe because I'm gonna be a dad.
Eric Agustin. Dad. oy.

kewl....

http://www.isot-asia.edu.ph/CuttingEdge/EricAgustin.htm

Hello,
My name is Eric Agustin and I live at Pickwick in Sterling Heights. My house backs up to Magnolia Park on 16 mile between Mound and Ryan. I purchased the home because I love the park. I have a suggestion/request. There is a huge field in the Southwest corner of the park that is lined by trees. It has always been my dream to live by a soccer field and the field would be perfect if goal posts were put up. Anyways, with the birth of my son coming up in a few weeks, I guess I thought I would try and get goals put up and lines drawn so in the future I could teach him and other kids around the neighborhood to play soccer. I coach a soccer team right now and I would be willing to do mini soccer clinics for kids in the area if that would help to push this through. Thanks for your time and I hope to hear from you. Sincerely,
Eric

http://www.nsc.org/ehc/radon/rad_faqs.htm
http://www.epa.gov/iaq/radon/zonemap/michigan.htm

Okay let's review.
I was practicing.

Now,
This little piggie went to the market.
This little piggie stayed home.
This little piggie had roast beef.
This little piggie had none.
This little piggie went whee whee whee all the way home.

ROAST BEEF?!?!? People.
Come on now. This is crap. If you're putting together a children's poem or haiku or what not, don't get high and make up stuff out of nowhere.
Why did he have roast beef? What was it's significance? Why did the next little piggie have none? What's with the unnecessary segregation?
I can understand the market and staying home and even saying whee whee all the way home, I mean, who hasn't?
But the roast beef and lack there of is just ridiculous.

Where do I begin?

Kind of cliche... but it sums up the struggle... Where does preparation for Isaiah end and time to be creative begin?
I'm kind of in a spiritual slump.... I don't feel like I'm growing closer to God, but I don't have the will to do the things that help me grow closer... so I just drift...
I really think the last thing I need is more prayer or more Bible verses... What I really need is to serve... I need to start acting on all the things I've learned and believe... I need to find more opportunities and serve my community... (that rhymed)
It's super inspiring to see Chrissy step out and serve in the mission field...
I guess I'm just really tired lately. Trying to knock this stuff out...

----
Home Inspection 04.13.04
To Do List

1. Change Locks
2. Plug holes in basement. (steel wool and insta-foam)

Exterior:
· Bush at back of house, cut back so it doesn’t brush exterior
· Cracks in driveway and walkway we need to caulk and seal. (Quick Krete driveway caulk)
· Seal where garage meets driveway.
· Add extensions to the gutters.
· Grade topsoil at all four sides of the house underneath spouts.
· Add relief valve to sump discharge.
· Seal around hose spigots.
· Fix flashing against chimney… caulk/tar.
· Check roof so that wood underneath edges isn’t rotting… no drip edge
· De-winterize/winterize sprinklers.
· Clean and seal the deck. (Deck Brite, Penofin products)
· Grade walkway so people don’t trip coming up to the porch.
· Loose water trap at front trim on garage.
· GFCI in garage… moisture there.
· Add varmint screens to chimney.

Interior:
· Replace light switch in dining room so it turns fully off.
· Clean fireplace before use.
· Caulk the downstairs bathroom.
· Add GFCI to all bathrooms and kitchen… anywhere that’s within 3 feet of a water source.
· Check if bathtub upstairs is re-glazed.
· Small leak under left upstairs sink.
· Replace smoke alarms.
· Move Carbon Monoxide detector.
· Fix wiring on sump pump… put in junction box.
· Hot water tank needs extension valve that goes to floor and is supposed to reach about 4 inches from floor… also very old.
· Remove extension cord wiring from basement.
· GFCI for plugs by laundry.
· Repair humidifier motor and add overflow pipe.
· Replace thermostat with digital (Honeywell)

Additional notes:
· decline home warranty
· hot water tank old
· 1-800-MISS-DIG
· If electronic air filter breaks, replace with 5” media filter (16”x25”x5”)
· Clean furnace twice a year (contract heating company – Best or TopHat??)
· 586.939.2857 – Home Phone #

----
I'm about 40% through it all.
I'm tired.
Annalisa is awesome. She's the perfect wife. I hope I never take her for granted.
I'm gettin' kinda chubby again... (sigh)
Took a polaroid of my mid-section back in October '02 and I remember vowing that after a year I would have a leaner/stronger body so as to excel in soccer and basketball.
Found the polaroid yesterday... (sigh)
Been feeling pretty old lately...
You can wait to watch The Terminal... engh...
My hair is really long and I don't feel attractive.
The basement and the garage are not organized.
Philippe's in France. He thrives there. I wonder if I will ever travel again.
Gave a horrible presentation at work yesterday. I suck.
Okafor should have went first. But I understand.
I've been down on myself lately... or really hard on myself or both...

Let's look, in chronological order, at how the Dumars built the Pistons.

Ben Wallace

On Aug. 3, 2000, Ben Wallace became a Detroit Piston, along with guard Chucky Atkins, when Dumars signed Grant Hill and then traded him to Orlando. At the time, the swap seemed lopsided ... for Orlando. Hill was a bona fide NBA stud with a Hall of Fame future. He also had a gimpy ankle, but that would heal in time, right? Detroit would be Wallace's third home in as many years. With two Defensive Player of the Year trophies on his mantle and a ring on his finger, Wallace has helped the Pistons become champions.
Corliss Williamson

Williamson joined the Pistons in the middle of the 2000-01 season when the Toronto Raptors shipped him, Tyrone Corbin, Kornel David and a future first-round pick for Jerome Williams and Eric Montross. The next season, Williamson won the NBA's Sixth Man Award by averaging 13.6 ppg and 41. rpg in 21.8 mpg.

Mehmet Okur

One of four players on the active roster drafted by the Pistons. Selected with the 38th pick of the 2001 Draft, Okur didn't make his Detroit debut until the 2002-03 season. He's played in 143 games and started 42 of them in the last two seasons. He is a free agent.

Tayshaun Prince

Another of the players on the active roster drafted by the Pistons and a reason Dumars used the No. 2 overall pick of the 2003 NBA Draft on Darko Milicic instead of Carmelo Anthony. Prince, who the Pistons selected at No. 23 of the 2002 NBA Draft, rewarded Dumars' faith in the lanky forward. Prince shut down Orlando's Tracy McGrady in the 2003 Playoffs and played shutdown D on Kobe Bryant in the 2004 Finals.

Chauncey Billups

The 2004 Finals MVP. Dumars signed Billups as a free agent on July 17, 2003. Before signing with the Pistons, Billups had played for five NBA teams in five seasons. He has averaged 16.6 ppg in two seasons with Detroit and 21.0 ppg in the 2004 Finals. Under Larry Brown's tutelage, the shoot-first point guard averaged 5.7 apg, a career high, in 2003-04.

Richard Hamilton

Acquired for All-Star Jerry Stackhouse on Sept. 11, 2002, Hamilton has proved to be Stack's equal, although Hamliton has yet to make an NBA All-Star team. He averaged 17.6 ppg to lead the Pistons in scoring this season, while averaging 4.0 apg, a career-high.

Elden Campbell

Dumars signed Campbell, a 13-year NBA vet, on July 16, 2003. Campbell played in 67 games in his first season with Detroit, averaging 5.6 ppg and 3.2 rpg in 13.7 mpg.

Darko Milicic

Thanks to a trade the Pistons sending Otis Thorpe to the Grizzlies in 1997 for a future first-round pick, Dumars found himself with the No. 2 overall pick in the 2003 NBA Draft. He used it on 18-year-old Darko Milicic. Raw, yet talented, Milicic played in only 34 games and often played only when the Pistons had a win sewn up. Dumars was roundly criticized throughout the season for selecting Milicic and passing on Carmelo Anthony, who went to Denver with the No. 3 pick. The point is moot now that the Pistons have a title.

Darvin Ham

Detroit marks the sixth NBA team in Ham's seventh NBA season. The Pistons signed him as a free agent on Sept. 23, 2003.

Rasheed Wallace

After seven tumultuous years in Portland and 42 minutes of game action in Atlanta, Wallace found himself on an Eastern Conference contender on Feb. 19, 2004. Immediately after acquiring the 6-11 forward, the Pistons went on a defensive run unlike the NBA has seen. holding five consecutive opponents under 70 points in March. Wallace's size and basketball smarts helped make the Pistons one of the more dedicated defensive squads in recent memory.

Mike James

The Pistons acquired James on Feb. 19, 2004 in a three-way deal that also brought Rasheed Wallace to Detroit.

Lindsey Hunter

Detroit drafted Hunter with the No. 10 overall pick in the 1993 Draft. One of Dumars's first moves was to trade his former teammate to Milwaukee for Billy Owens before the 2000-01 season. The Bucks then traded Hunter to the Lakers after the season. The Lakers then traded Hunter to Toronto for Tracy Murray and the rights to Kareem Rush. The Piston then re-acquired Hunter when they sent Michael Curry to the Raptors. (Whew!) But Hunter's travels don't stop there. Hunter was sent to Boston in the three-way deal that brought Rasheed Wallace and Mike James to Detroit on Feb. 19, 2004. Boston then waived Hunter that same day and the Pistons picked up Hunter on Feb. 26. In addition to being the Piston with the most tenure in Detroit, he's also the "newest" Piston.

That.
Was.
Awesome.

FACT: That was a straight ass whooping. The other team was DESTROYED by a better TEAM. BEATEN. DOWN. TO THE GROUND. Not because they are a bad team. They rocked San Antonio and Minnesota. Two juggernauts. It’s not because they’re a bad team. It’s just that they ran into a REAL team in the Pistons.

I know one reason why I’m so pumped up about this. It pisses me off so much that Doc Rivers could not call one moment of any game in an unbiased fashion. He was all over the other team’s jock after every sucky play they made. Ie. Ben Wallace spins, gets position on Fluke and is about to put away an alley-oop dunk, all Fluke can do is grab Ben’s jersey. Doc’s assessment of the play? “Great play by Fluke. It’s amazing that at such a young age, he knows to foul in that situation. This team has really prepared him. What a head’s up play.”

No. Wallace was about to dunk on his weak impression of defense and all he could do to stop further humiliation was to grab his jersey. THAT’S what happened.

Now multiply this sucky commentating by a kajillion and apply it to every sucky suckiness that sucked in all it’s glorious sucknacity play that the other team made. Again though, it’s not that they could not execute. They are a very high caliber team. It’s not that they could not execute. The Pistons FORCED them into poor execution. It’s not that they’re bad. It’s that the Pistons are GOOD. It’s not that they couldn’t. It’s that the Pistons DID NOT LET THEM. Got that Doc? It might be easier for you to understand now that the whole world is on the frickin’ bandwagon. It’s all over the news and the public opinion of the masses is subtly swinging in the Piston’s favor, so it might be easier for you to construct something that might pass as your own opinion.

Bottom line? Get off their jock. Call the game in an unbiased fashion. Stop sucking.

Anyways. Pistons were dominating. Complete and beautiful. Ben is a freak. 18 points and 22 boards. Come on. Nice trade for broken Hill. Prince is awesome and killed Evean. Joe D is a genius for not picking up Carmelo. Woulda messed up the flow. Hamilton’s automatic. Joe D is a genius for trading Stack at his apex. Billups is bananas. Joe D is a genius. Sheed was the perfect pick up. Joe D is a genius. Pistons got a championship and trade bait like you wouldn’t believe. Joe D is a genius.

I’m going to tell you what I’m taking from all this.

Eric’s Lesson Learned: Shut up. Do the time. Do your work.

That’s it. I have little respect for talk or swagger. I have little respect for thoughts without thought. After the domination, Pistons players still had no talk or swagger. Billups gave props to God for his gifts. Other players couldn’t describe how it felt because they hadn’t had enough time to think about it. I respect that. Take your time.

Here’s the most difficult realization of this whole thing. The Pistons have exposed how pathetic and juvenile Detroit is. My heated reaction to how little respect Doc gave to the Pistons is a small indication of a geographical region’s inability to get over the past and find real self-worth from within. Instead of understanding and focusing on the city’s ability to survive and thrive and produce, the social consciousness of an entire area has been beaten down with ever so subtle yet constant blows of biased words telling us we’re not good enough because we don’t have perfect weather, beautiful beaches, uncensored celebrities. So what does this unhealthy mindset result in? The result is a city that is begging to be respected. For me, it’s not that I don’t have respect, it’s the fact that I’m begging the world to respect me. Unacceptable. Screw that. The Pistons had no respect. They didn’t beg for any. They just shut up, did their time, and finished their work. Now, those that didn’t want to, have to. Respect.

But this is the process of strength. Inner turmoil, lack of self-worth, riots happen. There is pain and suffering, self-realization, change. Whether or not the city takes a page from the Piston’s philosophical playbook, I’m unsure. What I do know was that the Piston’s lesson wasn’t wasted on me. I love where I live. I love Michigan. I love living near a city that has done it’s time and is about to burst from all the positive things coming from inside. Things that were there before the Pistons made their run. This is where people work hard. This is where people suffer and persevere. This is where winter’s are harsh, and life is harsher. Where we appreciate 75 degree days and do something about it. This is where if we don’t support each other unfailingly, we all fall. This is where we get our hands dirty. This is where I make my stand. Where I raise my family, and where I serve my God. This is Michigan. This is where I live.

I have two moments in church that I always really like.

When we sing:
Christ has died.
Christ is risen.
Christ will come again.

I like it when we sing this cuz it's just so pure and truthful and hopeful.
Walking around on this earth, it's hard to find someone speaking truth and purity.
So when I hear so many singing the same thing, it's cool to me.

And when we sing:
Lamb of God, You take away the sins of the world,
have mercy on us, Lamb of God.
Lamb of God, You take away the sins of the world,
have mercy on us, Lamb of God.
Lamb of God, You take away the sins of the world,
have mercy on us, grant us peace.

I especially like this one because in the pit of my stomach, I really believe that He takes away the sins of the world.
It's also such a deep and sincere request at the end. Grant us peace.
Peace. Paysh. Piece. Peas.
We say "peace" when we say goodbye implying that until we see each other again, I hope your life is filled with peace.
But it's just slang... I always wonder when I say it if I really mean "peace be with you until we meet again" or if they really mean it when they say it to me.
The humble yet powerful request of, "Grant us peace" is also moving to me because it's proactive.
It's humans recognizing that true peace only comes from knowing Him and asking Him for it.

Chivalry is weird.
I have a theory.
Let’s say you’re walking down a flight of stairs that ends at a landing leading to a door. As you descend, you hear footsteps above you also leading down. It turns out it’s the nice lady you smile at at work. You don’t know her. You just smile. By the time you reach the lower landing, she’s at the landing above where you were 13 stairs ago. Do you (a) open the door and walk through it to lunch (b) open the door and hold it for the nice lady behind you. (c) it depends.
Let’s say you chose c based on a relative feeling of how far she is truly. What if you mess up? What if you choose to hold open the door when really she’s just too far away for you to be doing that? Now she has to hurry down a flight of stairs, putting herself in more danger considering her heels, to oblige the grinning fool who insisted on opening a door for her that she could have easily handled in her own time. I dread this. I would hate to have her slip and fall on my account of “chivalry”. Instead, barring an extremely close encounter, I choose a. Not because I’m not chivalrou