Soo.... shutdown....

Every first week of July, GM shuts down...

It's so fun in the week leading up to the shutdown because everyone is smiley and happy and asking each other, "What are you doing over shutdown?"

"I'm going to North Carolina..."
"I'm going to up north..."
"I'm going to do some work around the house..."

My response was... "I'm potty training."

That is, I'm using a week of vacation to teach an emotionally unstable, irrational, illogical person to defacate and urinate in the designated place.

(sigh)

As shutdown approached I became more and more curious about this decision.

I had started to rebuild the upstairs closet and finished it in the Saturday of shutdown.
I think I installed the mirrored doors on the downstairs closet that day too with Ryan's help. (~$100)
The next day I made and installed a custom baby gate out of 3/4" blonde plywood. ($35 for a 4' x 8' sheet)

I had no energy to begin potty training 'til Monday.
Ahhh, monday went well.
He woke up at 9am. I took him to the bathroom and he went pee.
Every half hour I brought Isaiah to the bathroom and he would either go or declare, "There's no pee pee coming!"
Alright. Good system. Good communication.
I would give him a piece of candy every time he peed in the toilet.
That Monday night, I told Annalisa that all went well. She said that she bought new underwear for Isaiah. Spiderman, Cars, etc.
We decided that he was ready for underwear. Put it on him that night.

Tuesday, 9am Isaiah wakes up dry and I take him to go pee.
Ain't no thang. We're there. It's all good.
Distribute the candy.
Breakfast time.

9:30... "There's no pee pee coming."

10am... "There's no pee pee coming."

10:10am.So I'm messing around on the couch reading Shadow of the Hegemon, feeding the kids and chilling.
Isaiah walks past and stops by the arm of the couch.
He pauses for too long and he catches my eye.

"Isaiah?"
"I HAVE TO POTTY!"

He's standing in a puddle.

?!?!!?!?!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?

AAIAIAIAAAAAIIAIAI!!!WHOWWHWOHWAAAOWWHOAAA!!!

"ISAIAH!! You have to tell daddy that you have to pee BEFORE you pee!!!"

okay.

no problem.

Accidents happen.

Now.

"Where do you pee?"
"The potty seat."

"Where do you poop?"
"In the potty seat."

Okay. New underwear.
We're alright. We can do this.... let's get back on the horse.

10:30am... "There's no pee pee coming."

10:42am... Isaiah's watching Lazytown eating rice and some meat...

"Isaiah, you want juice?"
"I pooped."

WAAAAAAAAHEHEHAHAAHAAAAHAAOOOOAOAOAAAOOO!!!!?!?!?!!!!

ISAIAH!!!!!!!
You need not know what transpired over the next few minutes.
Suffice to say that I am a man that can handle anything.

But my frustration at that point did get the best of me.
I figured, if he does something that I want him to do and gets rewarded for it, he should be punished for doing something I don't want him to do.

So after everything was sanitary again, I proceeded to put Isaiah in time out.
He was crying like he always cries in time out and I felt bad because I knew he didn't really understand and he didn't do anything on purpose.

Alright... these things are bound to happen.

All part of the course of life. It's true that my life sucks right now. But hey, we'll get through this.

ISAIAH!

"WHERE DO YOU PEE?!"
"in the potty seat."

"WHERE TO YOU POOP?!"
"in the potty seat."

OKAY!
"IF YOU EVER HAVE TO PEE OR POOP, YOU TELL DADDY BEFORE, BEFORE, BEFORE YOU DO! THEN DADDY TAKES YOU TO THE BATHROOM TO GO IN THE POTTY SEAT, OKAY!"

"okay."

OKAY! Okay! okayokayokayokayokay.
New underwear. Let's try Lightning McQueen.
We can do this.

11am... "There's no pee pee coming out."

11:07am... I'm sitting at the piano. Currently our laptop is sitting on top of the piano. So to get online and stuff, you sit on the piano bench and work on the laptop on top. Isaiah climbs onto the piano bench.

"Can I get on your back?"
"Yeah buddy, one sec."
"okay."

He proceeds to put his arms around my neck.
The next thing I feel is a warm spot in the middle of my back.
And a trickle.

Capital letters, exclamation points, and question marks don't give adequate justice to my emotions at that point in time.

My frustration and fury were blinding.

(sigh)

I put him in timeout again after that one. He cried and I felt bad again because it's not something he knew how to really control. So I'm thinking I was wrong to put him in time out. But he did learn the severity of my intentions and somehow I think I got through to him. So I think I was wrong, but my point got across. So I was not very very wrong... just wrong maybe.

One more accident before noon and I was a broken man.

No dignity. No pride. Nothing left to give.

Annalisa was quick to pick up on my frustration when she got home and picked up my slack. I don't know how single parents do it.

We spent the next day, 4th of July, in Lansing with Gary and Mads and Luci and Elijah.
For about a day and a half we didn't leave their house. Just chit chatting and dreaming and enjoying each other's company.

There's really nothing like spending time with friends who know where you're coming from.

Went to the Casino Thursday night with Ryan, J, Alvin, and Ariel. Paolo met up.

Me, Alvin, Ariel, and J threw in a hundred bucks each... Made a deal to split losses and profits after 2 hours.

Al and Ariel busted. I was up 200, J was up 72.
We each got 15 bucks.... Rest to Ryan for driving... sweeeeet.

On Al's last hand of his own money, he split and doubled down 3 times. Ended up being up huge.
That's why you go to the Casino.
Awesome.

Saw Transformers the next day.
If you're gonna suspend disbelief, then suspend disbelief and have a good time. Don't let conservation of mass stop you.
But believe this. GM is freakin' pimp.

I worked a long time on that Camaro.
To have my childhood world and my adult work collide on screen in one of the most freaking awesomest movies of the year was immensely satisfying. Nerdvana fo' sho.

Bumblebeeee tuna.

Annalisa was so cool about me going to the Casino and watching Transformers with the guys.

Got free tickets from Paolo to go to the Tigers game on Sunday. Last game before the All Star Break against the Red Sox.

My mom was kind enough to babysit. 96 degree weather. We won 6-5. Great homeruns. Great Granderson catch. Went to the new Detroit Riverwalk. What's nice about just holding your wife's hand in a new place is it feels more like a date again and not this huge lifelong thing. The lifelong thing is great too sometimes, but sometimes it's nice to date.

Isaiah is doing very well. He is so awesome.
1 piece of big red candy for trying.
2 pieces of big red candy for peeing in the potty seat.
5 pieces of big red candy for pooping in the potty seat.

One big smile for daddy.